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Menopausal partners.

Lee65
Community Member

Any current threads on advice, support for partners of menopausal women?

Everywhere I look all I see advice on how to support & what not to do when your partner is going through menopause. I haven't found anything yet to help me understand or deal with my feelings. I do everything I possibly can to help, I'm well read on the subject, however I still feel like I'm the problem whenever my wife gets upset, sleeps badly or has anxiety. I feel terribly ashamed when I get angry or resentful. The poor lass is going through hell.

2 Replies 2

BballJ
Community Member

Hi Lee65,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

I am not well rehearsed in this subject matter but have asked other Community Champions for some help so hopefully there will be some other replies that may be able to assist you with this.

My best for you and your partner,

Jay

Mathy
Community Member

Hi Lee,

Welcome to the BB forums 🙂

Speaking from experience (I am female), menopause is downright weird. Even women who have no anxiety type issues can often start experiencing them, This is often related to the lack of sleep issues and hot flushes - this turns into a nasty circle of badder and badder. Psychologically, menopause also relates to end of reproductive life and that can impact on sense of self.

Is your wife managing this on her own, or does she have a supportive GP? Some medication may be appropriate - re anxiety and sleep issues. Of course, healthy diet and exercise are useful, plus acknowledging that she’s tired - nanna naps recommended here! Meditation, pampering etc.

One needs to take a long term view and have a plan, because menopause doesn’t disappear in a few months. I love that you’re well read and trying to be supportive. Problem with menopause is that the symptoms are unpredictable and can vary a lot, and, can be quite scary when they catch you unawares. I’ve met women who developed panic attacks, others who became agoraphobic, women who couldn’t drive over a bridge to go to work. It’s very bizarre and scary, because the majority of these women had never had a psychologically abnormal day in their lives (and I include myself in that).

It’s almost a case of a Women’s support group for her, and a Man’s support group for you - because you both need support. Generally women will be discussing this issue. I’m not sure that men sit around having discussions about their menopausal partners - what do you think about this? For example, I play golf, and I play on Ladies Day, so there’s any number of women there who can discuss and have a joke about menopause. Do you have a social group of guys that you hang out with? Having friends that you can talk to and share with can help a lot. It doesn’t have to be the nitty gritty details. It’s ok to feel the way you feel, no doubt some of your friends are feeling/have felt the same way.

I feel you’re a champ, coming here and writing this post. You obviously love your partner, and want the best for her.

Hopefully, some other suggestions will come along, all the very best, cheers M 🙂