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Marriage problems

Teena1__
Community Member

My husband & I have been together for almost a decade, married for 6 years & we have 3 kids together. I am a SAHM while my husband provides for our family. He's a great father to our kids and also a great Provider. I am thankful. throughout the years we've bumped heads cause we don't see eye-to-eye on things.

Eg: he gave me an ultimatum to marry him in a courthouse or not marry him at all. He's the one who wanted me to be a SAHM and raise our kids while he works. He'll go through many hoops to lie or makes up excuses as to why he can't attend family events, bdys or special occasions (but if it were his fam he'd have no issues showing up). I have caught him out each time on his big lies. He always says for me to go by myself or take the kids.

He had a online relaionship while I was pregnant. He makes no effort whatsoever when it comes to our marriage. It's either his way or the highway. I have to fight him tooth & nail to drag him to family events. he makes a huge deal about going even though he only shows up maybe 3 times out of the year. My family love and respect him, and have been paitent with him in not forcing him to come around if he didn't want too.

I'll always be the one to come up with spontaneous dates or outings otherwise we won't go anywhere. I'll always go out of of way to spoil him for his bday, anniversaries, fathers day & Christmas but it is never reciprocated. I also have religious commitments and he supports me aslong as I don't have to include him and that also goes for family things, even if it involves the kids. He doesn't want the kids to have big birthdays where he has to socialise with anyone.

He's never actively involved, but will happy drive me and the kids hours away to do our own thing just so we miss out on whatever family events we skipped out on that day.

I know he loves me but he doesn't care about things or the people that I love. But he just expects me to care & Love his family. I feel like my husband doesn't value me enough to speak my love language.I take care of our kids 24/7. I clean/cook & clean up everyone otherwise things won't ever get done. I help him pay the bills where I can. I have no friends, socialise with noone. My family all live 2 hours away hence why I would want my family to spend time with them.

I'm exhausted and tired of fighting him over the same thing over and over. He's 36 years and I'm turning 30.

I have suggested counselling but he doesn't believe we have any issues. My dad is dying and he won't go.

10 Replies 10

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator
Hey Teena1_!,

We appreciate you reaching back on the forums. We’ve noticed that you have started to share your journey in your other thread. So that our community can best understand your current situation and provide the most appropriate support, we're going to close this thread so that you can continue this discussion over there.

Thanks for being open here, Teena1_!. We hope the kind words and understanding of this community brings some comfort.

Kind regards, 

Sophie M