Hello Jane, and a warm welcome.
Some partners/spouses are not capable or don't understand how to help you when depression comes, simply because they too maybe having issues themselves, which haven't been discussed, and in an effort t help you, may only enhance their own problems.
When depression arrives we either close up and not talk to anyone or we want to talk with someone who we know cares about us, not only once but on a continual basis, if they allow this to happen.
Some only want to hear us once, then they run, disappear so we don't see them again, much to our disappointment.
Suffering from any type of depression does require a great of support in many areas we don't realise, because it's much more than just being sad for a day or so, there's a multitude of events that aren't noticed.
It's sad when you say 'that I am not good enough for anyone else to date' but truly understand how you are thinking, however, your relationship and whether you love him, he doesn't want to be with you now while you need him.
There are places that can support you through this and will post them in next reply.
-Headspace www.headspace.com › contact-us
-Kids helpline 1800 55 1800
-Black Dog Institute in your State
-Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636
-Sane 1800 18 SANE (7263)
-Reachout 1800RESPECT, or 1800 737 732, available 24/7.
other sites people will also provide.
Hope this helps but please get back to us.
I feel for you through this difficult time. Please keep yourself as strong as possible and speak with a councilor about your feelings. Can I assume that you feel alone and abandoned because the way your partner is treating you. You need to look after yourself in this time of need, especially if your partner may not reliable. Healthy people don't play mind games with their partner. If you feel that you are hitting a brick-wall and your partner still cannot meet your care needs, it may be something he needs to work on his own.