Hi Regine
With you mentioning growth, spark (inspiration), a work in progress etc, I get where you're coming from.
I'm a firm believer that love in found in evolution. Whether love is expressed through the process of personal evolution (self love) or it is expressed through mutual evolution between 2 people, I believe it all relates to stimulating a sense of connection to life itself.
Whether we're adding ventures (adventuring) or indulging in positive forms of recreation (aka re-creation), if there's a natural longing to move forward and our partner doesn't share that same degree of longing, there can be conflict. In agreeing to help our selves and each other experience growth we can find a common promise. Whilst one person's idea may not click with their partner, it remains important for both people to work on finding various ways to mutually grow, together.
I really do get where you're coming from, as I'd spent many years in depression before finally escaping it. There is incredible value in constantly evolving beyond our current identity at any given time. It is an ongoing process throughout the whole of our life and unless we have the tamed mind of a Zen monk, there will be many ups and downs through mastering this process. By the way, my husband is a beautiful person who is happy with 'comfortable': He is happy for us just to be together, to sit and watch TV together and 'grow old together'. As I mentioned to him, I interpret this as experiencing no adventure, no constructive growth and no form of re-creation as we grow old before we eventually die. Yes, a harsh interpretation. Regine, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to hold the hand of someone you love as you both explore the exciting path that holds many forms of growth.
It's definitely a challenging process, discovering our most authentic self. I personally find that one of the best ways of staying out of a depression involves self questioning. Often, some good questions to ponder are 'What are my reasons for my current beliefs? Do they need tweaking in order for me to grow beyond them? Why am I experiencing discomfort; what is the discomfort, anger, sadness and/or frustration really telling me? Am I actively seeking to evolve in productive ways or am I simply wishing things would change?'
Mentioning to your partner that you are seeking ways for the both of you to evolve/grow together may prompt him to begin thinking outside the square, offering ideas.
Keep on evolving 🙂
