Dear Lovergirl~
Welcome here to the forum, I can't give you a complete answer but will try to point out a couple of points.
The first is that you have someone who has proposed, and if they love you they may wait for you to take you time in answering however do you think it is likly to be a fair and successful partnership in the long term?
If you tell them you love someone else but marry anyway do you think they would be truly happy knowing they come second in your affections, perhaps over time things may fall apart. Knowing one is second best is not a good way to be. If you go on and have kids what happens then?
If you do not tell them where your affections lie then you are entering in a marriage based on a falsehood, again a pretty unfair way to do things. Practically speaking I doubt you could keep up the pretense permanently, at some stage your husband will come to realise what is happening -then what?
OK, so by now you will have realised I think it would be a mistake -for practical reasons - for not accepting the proposal. I guess you could have an open marriage, I've no idea how long they last.
I'm not really going to say much about the person you love, who will not marry you, making you second fiddle. One has to wonder if he has told his family of his relationship wiht you , or living a falsehood.
All in all there are 4 people (and maybe your lover's kids if he has any) who are involved, three of whom may be hurt badly. From what you say It looks like you lover is the only one having it all.
Nevertheless wihtout knowing a great deal more about your lover's situation I'm going to leave it at that
Croix.
