Feeling unsupported and frustrated

[Roshelle]

My aunt keeps checking in on me and asking how I am. When I tell her the truth, that I'm struggling, she tells me to pray or says she's praying for me. I have told her many times I do not believe in god, prayer, Jesus, or any of the things that I tried so hard to make work my whole life and was always disappointed by. I feel very frustrated and disrespected and I don't know what to say to her so I just avoid answering her because I don't want to say things in anger that upset her. My parents and only sibling are dead, she's the best support I have and I don't want to lose her. She always says I should tell her when I need help, but kind of refuses what I ask for and offers unhelpful things I've told her I don't want (prayers). I don't want to avoid her, or upset her, but I don't know how to respond to her. And when I do avoid her she gets worried and bothers my friends which I think is inappropriate. I'm trying to be understanding, and not entitled, but I'm also confused by her offers to help. Just after some advice on how I can talk to her because me trying to get boundaries and tell her my needs obviously hasn't been working. Hope this all makes sense.

[therising]

Hi Roshelle

What you say makes complete sense. With so many painful, overwhelming upsetting challenges and such loss (on top of a desperate need for a sense of direction), to simply pray is not enough. To simply pray offers no way forward. 'Answers to our prayers' is a whole different story. To pray or meditate on answers and have the answers or the way forward come to mind is what truly comes to serve us.

I'm wondering, if you were challenge your aunt, how she would meet the challenges you set. To ask her 'What do you pray for?' could be a start. If you were to ask her 'What do you hear or what do you see, when it comes to the way forward for me?', what she would say. If she was to say 'I don't hear or see anything', then you could say 'I need you to hear or see the way forward for me'.

[Roshelle]

Thank you. That's something I haven't tried.