In a relationship with a habitual liar

[WJW]

I have been in a relationship for 8 years with a habitual liar. He is aware that I know about his condition and he says he is "working on it". He still continues to lie. I am at the point of not knowing whether he is telling the truth or lying...so I just assume that most of what he says are lies. We do not have a physical relationship any more. It has definitely negatively impacted on our relationship. We have been to see a counsellor about his lying and how it is impacting on our relationship. After our first and only counselling session, the counsellor recommend that we should see someone else, as she thought she was not in a position to help with our particular issue. I am willing to see another counsellor, but not so my partner. He said he would prefer to work on it himself. I know he has deep-rooted emotional scars from childhood...scars that I believe need to be address professional first. He is a good person, but his lying is destroying my faith in him.

[Emmy.]

Gosh so many mistakes above lol.

*Let us know HOW that all pans out (not what).

*How did your partner react when you told him his lying IS affecting your health (not his).

*Hope you’re doing something nice on THIS beautiful autumn day (not the).

*I love autumn, SUN is still shining but the days are cool (not say).

Sorry for all the mistakes.

[WJW]

Hi Emmy,

Sorry for not getting back so soon. Don't worry at all about the typos - I didn't even notice them.

Well, quite a lot has happened over the last week. My partner actually went to his GP and he is now on a mental health program. He will be seeing a psychologist in the next week and things appear to be going a lot better.

I just want to say thank you so much for just being on the other end and sending me words of encouragement. I cannot thank you enough.

You might think that you have not really done much...but just knowing there is someone that will listen to me and offer kind words and best wishes. Never underestimate what a help and support you have been.

I will keep you informed.

Thanks so much again.

Cheers,

Wendy

[Lily2450]

Hi Wendy,

I hope all is still going well.

Having been in a similar situation with a partner, I know it is hard. Once a pattern of lying is established it does compromise your trust moving forward. There were even times when my partner would give work fake excuses to leave early, such as me being sick. He didn't chuck sickies often so he could have just said he felt sick and they wouldn't have cared. It was almost compulsive and made me really annoyed.

At the end of the day, even after eight years, you have to do what is best for you whether that is stay or go. Sometimes it is hard to move past these things. The fact that he is making an effort is positive and shows that he is invested.

All the best,

Lily x

[Chloe_M]

Hi Wendy,

Sorry I haven't been around much, would just like to congratulate you on how far you've progressed... I think maybe the worst might be over. You are in a better place now than you were a few weeks ago. I'm happy for you 🙂

take care xx

Chloe

[Emmy.]

Wendy I’m so happy to hear this fantastic news about your partner! I hope all goes well with his first appointment. Wow what a turn around. Again I’m so happy for you! Always here for you and let us know how it all goes.

Much love. Emmy x