I messed up my friendship with one of my closest friends..

[Kaisariion_]

I messed up so badly with one of my closest friends and I don’t know what to do anymore. I tagged her in this video that was very explicit and didn’t blur out the death of a guy, and I think it triggered her because she recently lost her father the same way..I didn’t realise what I did was really wrong until later on, I regret it all so much. I always mess things up without even knowing I hurt others around me. She blocked me on everything and I sent her an apology on discord and in the comment sections but I know it wasn’t even good enough,my other friend’s mad at me as well and I think I lost all my friends. So yea, I need help badly.

[Croix]

Dear Kairsiriion_

Welcome to the Forum, a good place to come to see how other people handle matters. Everyone makes mistakes, most often some good can come out of them and here if it was a real friendship I'd be surprised if all was lost.

It may well be your image (which realy was not a good idea) did very much upset your friend, losing a father can be a huge milestone in one's life with greif and loss taking over.

I'm not sure that just words, if you were unblocked, would be enough for me, as I'd expect a friend to be more sensitive.  That does not mean everything is over, just you have to show sympathy and regret your action.

If you can maybe seeing here in person, and take something with you she might like even if it is just a movie ticket, and if it is an effort to get to see her - like she lives a fair way away - so much the better, as it will show you value her and wanted to make an effort.

If seeing her in person is not practical can you do the same sort of thing with snail-mail, making sure you write an appropriate letter with the gift? That can be followed up by Skype/Discord or whatever for a live person to person chat.

You can only try and see what happens and you will probably feel better about yourself by making an effort.

Croix

[Kaisariion_]

Hi Croix,

thanks for the reply, I was thinking of giving her some space for now considering that she’s blocked me. We are both in a gc that all our friends are in and I can still see her messaging in it but she still has me blocked, my other friend(the one that’s mad at me) messaged in it and I replied to some of her messages and she liked a few of mine and replied to them. I’m not sure if she’s mad at me still or not because when I explained the situation to her and told her how much I regretted and wanted to apologise to my other friend that I hurt in dms she left me on seen. Today, my friend that I hurt invited us all to go out for her birthday this week but I’m not sure if she’s including me as well…

[Croix]

Dear Kaisariion_

Well things look a little more hopeful than they did, what do you think would be the best way to go? Just turn up, message her and ask if you are invited, or get your friend to do that?

You know everyone involved and are in the best place to decide.

Whatever happens you have said you regretted your action and wanted to apologize, which is a pretty good set of feelings to express.

If you would like to let us know how you go that would be great.

Croix

[Kaisariion_]

Hi Croix,

So apparently she made another group chat without me in it for her birthday plans on Sunday. She doesn’t want to invite me,honestly I don’t know if she even wants to be friends with me anymore.

[Croix]

Dear Kaisariion_

I'm sorry to hear that, and in your position I'd not know either.  As it is her birthday is it worth sending a present and a note or do you think it's better to leave things for now?

I guess the only other thing to remeber is it is not just you. True you set off this reaction wiht the very inappropriate picture, but it is larger than that , your friend has to deal wiht grief, loss and a host of other emotional and practical things -plus family.

There may be no room left to deal with other things at present.

Croix