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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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PsychedelicFur My ex is now back with his ex before me, I feel like I was a REBOUND
  • replies: 1

Hello there, After leaving my longterm relationship of one year, I have just found out that my ex partner is getting back together with his ex (before me). I feel really hurt that after a month he can just move on like that and back with his ex, befo... View more

Hello there, After leaving my longterm relationship of one year, I have just found out that my ex partner is getting back together with his ex (before me). I feel really hurt that after a month he can just move on like that and back with his ex, before me. I am feeling so lonely and sad. Although, I’m lonely.. I am appreciative that I had did not stay with him because he would guilt trip me and say things like “…I will never love another” and “If you leave me I will be forever alone and you are my last hope.” Because he is going back with his ex it has made me feel that the WHOLE time he had feelings for her… I felt like a rebound. It has made me feel terrible about my self esteem.

Tintetare23 Alone and possibly insane
  • replies: 5

happy 4am everyone, I can’t sleep!! I’m a little lost… married 21 years 3 kids. My marriage lacks respect, love and intimacy and although I have attempted numerous times to discuss this with my partner all I get is “get over it”. He works nights and ... View more

happy 4am everyone, I can’t sleep!! I’m a little lost… married 21 years 3 kids. My marriage lacks respect, love and intimacy and although I have attempted numerous times to discuss this with my partner all I get is “get over it”. He works nights and once home (at around 11:30am) he sits on the Xbox until he goes to bed (6:30pm). I get no support to run the house, no happy conversations just an angry resentful man. Although surrounded by people I feel lonely, depressed and anxious that my marriage is falling apart and I have no control.

Rex007 Feeling Trapped
  • replies: 3

I have been married for quite a number of years now and truthfully I feel like it should have ended at least 7 years ago. My partner is very controlling and is more likely to give me orders than to show any kind of affection. At best we are just frie... View more

I have been married for quite a number of years now and truthfully I feel like it should have ended at least 7 years ago. My partner is very controlling and is more likely to give me orders than to show any kind of affection. At best we are just friends which is how she wants it to be. But it feels so lonely living like that.So why don't I leave? The big reason is because we have two kids 18 and 15 who have high functioning Autism and high anxiety as a result. I don't see any way that I could leave without them blaming themselves for the breakup.The other reason is because I don't know how to leave. I've been in this "marriage" for so long now that I don't know I could manage it. I have no family or friends that I can rely on - it's just me trapped, wanting more but knowing it'll never get better. I feel that she would get bitter if I left. I'm just tired of getting blamed for things when I work so hard.We have done marriage counselling (a few sessions anyway) and it was enough to realise that we both want different things. I just don't know what the next step is. I'm afraid to jump but know that I want to. P.S. I don't want to leave my kids because they bring the nost joy - I don't know what will happen there.

R.Penn Sharehouse difficulties
  • replies: 6

Hi, I have not posted in some time. But my circumstances have improved greatly. I am no longer renting a old caravan and am back living in my old share-house, with my boyfriend. He managed to convince my ex housemate to allow me to move back into the... View more

Hi, I have not posted in some time. But my circumstances have improved greatly. I am no longer renting a old caravan and am back living in my old share-house, with my boyfriend. He managed to convince my ex housemate to allow me to move back into the home and back on the lease agreement.It’s been hard adjusting after the history here with said housemate tho. He has not treated my boyfriend (who is autistic and very kind hearted) with much respect and is pretty inconsiderate self absorbed. I am trying to focus on the positives while I search for employment and wait for psychology appointments, in between trying to do some CBT and staying on my medication for anxiety. I went off meds for a month which I regret as this ended up in me exploding in resentment towards my ex housemate and calling him out as a bully. It was way overdue but he caught me when I just wanted to mind my own business and calm down. He cannot read my mood very well, says he doesn’t want to socialise with us, but then tries to small talk to me and we never do anything outside of the home with him. We are living with a stranger who is 10 years my senior. I am tired of the fake vibes. I am struggling at the moment, my boyfriend gets upset over unexpected changes and then I have to carry the emotions after he has vented to me and then I get resentful again against the housemate who I am not talking to as he has decided to purchase a new motorcycle and now has 5 vehicles on the property. Me and my partner share one car spot under the car port. I park on the road. He is now taking up another street park on the road which leaves me no room to park anywhere. I think these are small frustrating issues (he doesn’t buy dishwashing tabs, or cleaning products or TP for the house ever) but they are annoying because it appears inconsiderate and we also pay more rent as we have 3 rooms now in the house and pay for those. our housemate takes up the rest of the house with his furniture and gets the downstairs area too but he gets to pay a $137 a week which is an absolute steal at the moment with the housing crisis. We pay $435 a week. We just want to feel comfortable in our home which we have a right to spread out too. I am so grateful to have a safe and moderately quiet house in a nice area of the city. But I worry my car is not safe on the street and I will just have to face more trouble because of this housemate. I don’t know is this too petty?

BC16 Toxic mother
  • replies: 1

Hi, I’ve recently decided to cut my mother out of my life for numerous reasons but mainly mine and my family’s mental health. The thing is I actually haven’t said it to her and now that I’ve blocked her today I’m not sure if I should respond to one o... View more

Hi, I’ve recently decided to cut my mother out of my life for numerous reasons but mainly mine and my family’s mental health. The thing is I actually haven’t said it to her and now that I’ve blocked her today I’m not sure if I should respond to one of her numerous messages. I know whatever I say won’t sink in and she’ll have some excuse but I’m so angry that she spews all these lies and no one has ever pulled her up on it. That she thinks it’s ok to get my ex step father to start calling and texting when he hasn’t acknowledged my existence in 2 years. I’ve been doing better mentally but now I’m angry and I keep snapping at my wife and kids because I’m conflicted.

Dave992 Loosing my relationship with my children's mother to realise I am the problem
  • replies: 1

Hey everyone. Hope you are all having a great weekend. 2 months ago my partner left me saying she had no interest in reconciliation. I was never physically abusing but I've learned that I was distant and un loving of her and the children. I've had de... View more

Hey everyone. Hope you are all having a great weekend. 2 months ago my partner left me saying she had no interest in reconciliation. I was never physically abusing but I've learned that I was distant and un loving of her and the children. I've had depression and ignored the fact thinking that is just how it is. I've made active efforts to change this now but still feel horrible that I have hurt the person I love. I'm wondering how people have dealt with this before in the past.

DisappearMe Part time depression?
  • replies: 3

I am separated with two kids (9 - ADHD and 7 - Autism and ADHD) and have 50/50 custody. The week I have the kids is filled with non-stop fighting, them disrespecting me and each other, and me wishing I could disappear. I can't stand being around them... View more

I am separated with two kids (9 - ADHD and 7 - Autism and ADHD) and have 50/50 custody. The week I have the kids is filled with non-stop fighting, them disrespecting me and each other, and me wishing I could disappear. I can't stand being around them and find myself disengaging (sleeping late, not wanting to play with them) and generally hating my life. We are going through various options to try to get help for their behavioural issues but nothing has changed yet. My ex and I are on OK terms but I find him unhelpful in discussing the issues I have. He says they aren't as bad for him. Today I got caught in the cross fire of my kids throwing things at each other and ended up at the hospital with an injury. No one knows how bad it is with them, they can be rude and badly behaved around others but nothing like what I see daily when they are with me. When I am with my kids I feel like I meet all the criteria for depression and in the days before they come to me I feel anxious as I know what it will be like. Then, as soon as my week is up I feel fine again - happy, optimistic, and calm. I can't live like this and the thought of another 10+ years of this is unbearable, especially as the kids are getting bigger and stronger and more dangerous to each other and me. I don't know what to do.

Keeley23 I'm so goddamn lonely
  • replies: 1

At 15 I was first diagnosed with health issues. Mentally and physically. That was when I first started noticing my friends from highschool not wanting me around as much. There was a group of maybe 7 of us who always hung out and drank together and ha... View more

At 15 I was first diagnosed with health issues. Mentally and physically. That was when I first started noticing my friends from highschool not wanting me around as much. There was a group of maybe 7 of us who always hung out and drank together and hand fun. At 18 I had to move an hour away with family and then I really noticed that they didn't want a bar of me. I would ask them to hang out and they'd say no. I could only hang out with them if they invited me somewhere where it was convenient for them. I always have to travel to meet their needs. Now Im 21 and live 2 hours away with my partner. I don't drink due to having a problem with alcohol and it just makes me realise that they only liked me conditionally. They only liked me if I was there conveniently for them and drank. Now I sit at home, in my bed and I just feel empty. I have no one I can talk to. I have no one to spend my day with and while my partner is amazing it's just not the same as having a friend. I want someone I can message when something good happens. When I feel sad. I just want someone. I feel so goddamn lonely and empty and there's a hole in my chest. I feel close to collapsing in on myself. I'm exhausted by my want and desire and I don't know how to keep up with it

suspicious_banana Anxious Attachment in relationship while also dealing with other issues.
  • replies: 1

Hey guys, I am going through a bit at the moment in my current romantic relationship and my relationship with myself. Some support and advice would be great. A few things to note: - I've been diagnosed in the recent weeks with an anxious attachment s... View more

Hey guys, I am going through a bit at the moment in my current romantic relationship and my relationship with myself. Some support and advice would be great. A few things to note: - I've been diagnosed in the recent weeks with an anxious attachment style due to my mum having bipolar when I was growing up.- I have previously been in an abusive relationship previously, I was cheated on, manipulated, guilt tripped, gaslit and so on during it. I was in this relationship for 2 and a half years.- My partner and I work together.- My partner struggles to bring how how she is feeling and her needs, even when asked.- I've learnt recently that my partner is an independent person The story begins: I (21m) met my partner (21f) two years ago, things were great for a start, spent a lot of time together, affection and connection were through the roof. We had a few problems here and there and were able to somewhat comfortably resolve them. Her and her best friend moved in together and I noticed that her best friend was showing signs of jealousy, it ended up have a big impact on our relationship. Her friend had no one else but my partner to spend time with and my partner was always inviting her friend everywhere that we were wanting to go, then I'd be the third wheel (if that makes sense). Her friend would also make me very uncomfortable, glaring at me, ignoring me, isolating herself whenever I was over at their place. I brought this up with my partner many times and every time, she got very defensive about things and was very open about putting her friends needs above mine while also saying some other nasty things, breaking my trust completely. I ended up breaking things off with her for while as she couldn't have a discussion about it/anything without getting defensive, and then we were able to come back a month later and discuss things. Eventually she came to her senses and they had a falling out, and upon her own reflection, she can now understand how toxic that friendship was and how I was "right".

Drew76- grief and depression
  • replies: 1

Hi all just need some help I have being battling depression for the past 20 years and recently i just lost my best friend my mum after a 2 week battle with Multilobar Pneumonia. Can anyone recommend any types of counselling as I have my first born gr... View more

Hi all just need some help I have being battling depression for the past 20 years and recently i just lost my best friend my mum after a 2 week battle with Multilobar Pneumonia. Can anyone recommend any types of counselling as I have my first born grandson born in july and I want to be in his life but i need to get help first