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Totally feel trapped

Katija
Community Member

Hi we've recently moved into inlaws house to help mother in law with my bedridden father in law. They live in a unit in the back yard. We pay all the bills here, totally in control of that. 

She says this is our house and internally she doesn't say a word about what we do, which is great. But she interferes in every thing else. From fertilising the garden to mowing the grass. 

She criticising my kids, their haircuts etc. 

Some days I just want to run away...I cry a lot as my husband doesn't want to listen. He keeps telling me to change my attitude but I don't want to. She's the bully not me. It's really making me feel trapped. I don't know what to do or who to tall to. 

1 Reply 1

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome

 

I understand.  While my 1st wife and I waited for our house to be built we lived with my FIL. I cooked meals eager to please. After 5 months we had an argument,  he criticised me for... feeding him too well! "How dare we eat like kings, why do we get 3 vegetables in one meal"?

 

I'm sorry to say, this won't work. Not only the interference but the torment you feel with your husband not understanding his mother's effect on you.

 

I'm also sorry that you only have two choices- 1/ stand up to her. Not very wise as your world is likely to crumble more. 2/ move out. Also risky as you could be blamed for the fallout 3/ marriage counselling. I feel this is the way forward. I hope you are OK.

 

TonyWK