I Messed Up and It Will Probably Cost me my Family

Guest_67378638

So I messed up, and it's likely going to cost me my family and friends and maybe more.

Long story short, I did something terrible just over a week ago. I couldn't control my impulses, and even though I knew what I was doing was wrong, I did it anyway. My wife found out, and it's probably going to cost me everything. I don't want to go into detail, and it wasn't infidelity, but was probably just as bad if not worse.

Anyway, I don't know what to do. I have 2 young kids that are everything to me. They're bright, funny, amazing kids, and I love them so much. I would never ever do anything to harm them, and I never have. However, my wife has lost all faith and trust in me now. We weren't in a good place before, but now it's way worse, and while we're still living under the same roof, I can imagine she would rather I just disappear.

I'm giving her space for now, and I really am committed to improving myself (started seeing a pyschologist) and doing anything I can to build trust again, but I don't know if it will be enough (it probably won't). I just don't know what to do. I'll probably lose everything important to me, and I have no one to blame but myself.

melodica

Hello,

Welcome to the forums.

You have taken a huge step here by admitting that you have done something you feel you should not have. Admitting you have a problem can go a long way to finding a way forward.

You are also seeking help for the issue already by seeing a psychologist. This is a good step because they will hel py understanding yourself better and perhaps refer you to a couples counsellor as well.

Things are hard right now as you navigate your wife feelings and the kids. While I can't promise that this may not have consequences, I think you are doing a great thing getting support for yourself.

If you would like, you can reply here and let me know how you are going any time.

trying_my_best

Hi @Guest_67378638

As tough as the situation is, it sounds like you are making all the necessary steps towards an amicable solution. It’s refreshing to see that you have taken accountability, seeking therapy and giving your wife space! I think that is commendable as it takes great courage to admit that your impulses may have gone too far and lead to something you regret, but also to allow your wife the time to sit with it and process all that has happened.

I think despite it all, please don’t be too hard on yourself! Everyone makes mistakes, even big ones. You are human, it is how as human we live, learn and grow!

Wishing you the best 🫶