I’m eccentric yet I don’t have many friends

[PsychedelicFur]

Hello there,

within times of quarantine I have suddenly come to the ultimate realisation that people of my age bracket don’t particularly care about me.
I’m unique. And when I’m at school I don’t really have many friends or I feel highly uncomfortable around people of my age bracket because I don’t seem to relate or understand them at all.
I am an old soul so this does make it excruciatingly difficult. I have my own style and get constantly told when I go out into the city or the shops that I look amazing, yet why do the students at my school seem to not want to approach me or genuinely embrace or establish a kindred spirit connection? I try with people but they seem to speak to as a substitute for their friend, and when their friend suddenly reappears they no longer converse words with me.
what should I simply do?

psychedelicfur.

[quirkywords]

Psychedelic Fur,

It is hard when you are confident to be different from your peers but others seem uncomfortable with your uniqueness.

Students often don't want to stand out but I think many admire your style but they don't have the confidence to be different.

Do you have friends of different ages?

I think you have written about this before.

Can you find one person who you have things in common with.?

felt I was the odd one out at school and decades later I have found that I have much in common with people I didn't even know at school.

Only at school are you friends with people the same age. I have few friends who are my age.

[PsychedelicFur]

Hello there,

I do have some acquaintances who are at my school but they are not people who I feel upmost comfortable with having in depth, meaningful conversations with.
Most of, in fact all of my friends are older than me. They range from their late twenties to seventies.

All the things I enjoy or really appreciate are things that most older people really like. People say in order to make friends sometimes you have to compromise. I just simply cannot pretend to be interested in something to create a bond with someone else. I like what I like. That’s fibbing if I claim to like something just to get into a particular group but within all honesty I’m not only lying to myself but I am lying to those involved too.

[Juliet_84]

Hi Psychadelic Fur,

Just an observation, but you seem to have some preconceived notions that I think are creating barriers to you making friends. For example, when you say “I just simply cannot pretend to be interested in something to create a bond with someone else” - it’s not about pretending to be interested - to have a genuine friendship, you need to take an interest in someone else’s interests besides your own. Hardly any of my friends have the exact same interests as mine, life would be very boring if they did and I don’t want to hang out with a clone of myself, but I enjoy their company and unique perspectives. Sometimes it means expanding my horizons to go somewhere that I usually wouldn’t choose but there’s nothing wrong with that, and they return the favour. I think that you need to practice being more open-minded about people with interests that are different to your own, as I think waiting around to find someone with the exact same interests is very limiting. Alternatively, if you would really like people who share your interests, perhaps join some clubs that complement your lifestyle as a way of finding like-minded people.

[PsychedelicFur]

Thank you very much. I will definitely try that.
I understand that you have to interested in people’s’ hobbies and passions besides your own but what about if the people you hang out with or speak to don’t really seem to care about what your interested in?
I understand a good foundation to a meaningful and in depth friendship is recognising each other and accepting that we are independent and individual. I understand that I need to be more open minded and I fully intend on working on that. Although I find the people in my classes incredibly immature and it’s just so difficult to relate to them.

[PsychedelicFur]

Apologises for the spelling errors it is written in a better form :

Thank you very much. I will definitely try that.
I understand that you have to be interested in people’s’ hobbies and passions besides your own but what about if the people you hang out with or speak to don’t really seem to care about what your interested in?
I understand a good foundation to a meaningful and in depth friendship is to recognise thar everyone is unique and accept that we are independent and individual. I also understand that I need to be more open minded and I fully intend on working on that. Although I find the people in my classes are incredibly immature and it’s just so difficult to relate to them