I just walked away
I didn't want to. I don't know what else to do.
I'm too angry, all the time. My shouting made my baby cry. I'm not good for him, for either of them.
My anger is always there, always ready to burst out at the slightest thing. I tried counselling, but couldn't talk about what really matters. I did what I always do and talked a heap of shit to make the therapist think I was saying everything when I was really saying nothing at all.
I want to go back but I don't know how. My husband will just act like everything is normal, brush past it and suggest that I need his mother to look after my baby more, because I can't cope.
Everyone else can be a good parent
Why can't I?
First off, stop being so hard on yourself; parenting is hard; it has to be learnt. Give yourself some time to cool down and go and talk to your family; talk to your husband and tell him what is on your mind. I get the feeling your husband knows what the problem is.
Postnatal depression is a real issue for some women; it affect 1 in 7 women; you are not alone; there is no shame; it is a medical condition.
This is something that you will need help with. Start with a visit to your GP; you will get through this if you try.
You sound like a good person with heart. U didn't want to impact on your loved ones so you distanced yourself.
It's hard to know what the problem is. Do U have any idea where the anger stems from?
If u know the answers maybe you can come up with a solution. For eg. U might need some time out to indulge yourself in something you enjoy.
Mr Paul could be onto something with the post natal depression theory. Perhaps you could discuss how you're feeling with your doctor.
I'm sure you are a good parent in ways so I wouldn't discount yourself completely. If u thought of the things U do well I'm sure you could come up with some.
I really wish the best for you.
Write in as much as you need and others will hopefully jump on board as well to give you some support.