Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Casso26 My wife has left me
  • replies: 3

Hey all not sure how to start this. But here we go. My wife of 6 years ( together for 8 ) told me 2 weeks ago that she is not happy in the marriage any more and needs time to think. Over the past 2 weeks while apart she has been texting me telling me... View more

Hey all not sure how to start this. But here we go. My wife of 6 years ( together for 8 ) told me 2 weeks ago that she is not happy in the marriage any more and needs time to think. Over the past 2 weeks while apart she has been texting me telling me how much she loves me and misses me but she just needs time. So I have been away from the house to give her space. Today she text me saying she is going to her mum's to stay as its to hard to be in the house with all the memories. 2 hours later she calls me to say we need to chat as she wants a divorce now. This is the 3rd time this has happened in 12 months. I'm so lost on where to go from here and how to even continue on. We have been together since we were 19 and married at 21. All i have know is how to love and care for her. I just dont know how to move forward. Family are a great support but i cant even wrap my head around my next steps in life if i can even make them. Casso

Find_the_way Marriage counselling advice pls.
  • replies: 4

Hi All. My wife and I are in a dark place and she is resistant to outside help but has indicated recently it may be a possibility, I feel I am only going to get one chance at this before she shuts it all down, so it’s critical to me to find the best ... View more

Hi All. My wife and I are in a dark place and she is resistant to outside help but has indicated recently it may be a possibility, I feel I am only going to get one chance at this before she shuts it all down, so it’s critical to me to find the best option. I’m finding a lot of horror stories out there... I’m under the impression that there are no specific referrals on BB for help, specifically marriage counsellors or whoever is deemed more appropriate but I’m in desperate need of some guidance as to where to go for help. Somewhere to see reviews, first hand experiences etc would be a good start. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Polar_Boy Should I just give up on the concept of a relationship?
  • replies: 3

I am 44 and have never been in a one on one relationship. I lived overseas some time ago and came out as gay and was somewhat sexually active, although I never had a partner I had regular friends that were in open relationships. Anyway I came back to... View more

I am 44 and have never been in a one on one relationship. I lived overseas some time ago and came out as gay and was somewhat sexually active, although I never had a partner I had regular friends that were in open relationships. Anyway I came back to Australia and was really depressed I had one, one night stand and that was it. Since then I gained a huge amount of weight and since I'm quite ugly I gave up on the idea of meeting anybody and became something of a hermit. I was sort of lonely but became self reliant and coped on my own. About 2 months ago some of these overseas friends came to Australia and were disappointed by what I had become, the fact that I haven't had sex for close to 15 years caused great concern (mind you none of them were interested in me in that way anymore) so I was "encouraged" to use gay dating apps. These apps have been really hard because people either ignore me or actually go out of their way to tell me how unattractive and unsuitable I am (trust me fellas I know). I thought I had met some body but after a few weeks I worked out that was all a scam and I was devastated. So do I keep up talking to scammers (about 80% of people who message me( I'm really good at spotting them now)) and people who are mostly horrible to me for having the audacity to say hello. Or do I accept my fate delete the apps and go back to my social cave?

ItsWhatever Is It Selfish?
  • replies: 3

My parents had an argument a few nights ago. I say argument, but it was more of my mum screaming at my dad and accusing him of things and calling him this and that while my dad sat silently (presumably smoking outside). It was 12:00am. My brother was... View more

My parents had an argument a few nights ago. I say argument, but it was more of my mum screaming at my dad and accusing him of things and calling him this and that while my dad sat silently (presumably smoking outside). It was 12:00am. My brother was trying to calm her down, he ended having to hide stuff in his room because she kept threatening to break things. I tried not to be bothered by this. I wanted to tell someone, but I felt like that would be victimising myself. Parents fight all the time right? I tried to be okay. I really did. But the next day in school I was so caught up on telling myself that this was fine, that I shouldn’t be making a deal out this. I told myself it was fine, that I would just give myself one day to be stressed and sad about it. So i spent most of the day not talking much, and thinking and trying to convince myself that I was okay. I wanted to let myself have one day to get it out my system. But by doing this I accidentally set my friend off. She got upset because she thought I was ignoring her. She told her girlfriend, and her girlfriend assured her saying there would be no reason for me to ignore her. And then tried to get us to talk, but I couldn’t bring myself to. I didn’t want to tell them it was because my parents fought because it’s not a big deal right? Parents fight all the time, thats what I told myself. Its such a small issue. I didn’t say anything except that I wasn’t ignoring her. And I realized then that I can’t be sad, because if I am, then my friends will think its because of them and I don’t ever want to put my friends through that again. But is it a little selfish of me to want to tell someone? Or to wish that I could be sad, and it wouldn’t become anyone else’s issue either? I just want to be sad without making someone else upset, because honestly I’m tired of looking after other people when I’m barely looking after myself. Is that selfish? I just want to be cared for, but I know that it’ll stress them out. Especially because they’re the ones who have it so much worse. I think it’s because of my period too. I’m not really quite sure what to do. I’m just so tired and stressed lately. And I’m not sure if I have anyone to tell that to right now.

LLB Together for 15 years and feeling alone, what to do?
  • replies: 17

I've been married for 8 years and before that, dated my husband for 7 years. We have one child together, just over 14 months old. I am experiencing problems in our marriage. 1. My partner's libido is almost non existent for the past 3 years and we ha... View more

I've been married for 8 years and before that, dated my husband for 7 years. We have one child together, just over 14 months old. I am experiencing problems in our marriage. 1. My partner's libido is almost non existent for the past 3 years and we haven't been intimate for the past 17 months. Due to this, I struggled to get pregnant and the pressure during then really put a strain on our relationship. I begged him to seek professional help and he went for one test, which tested his testosterone levels and apparently he's all good. I've tried many times to talk to him about possible ways of resolving this issue but he's either too proud or he doesn't think there's an issue at hand, end result is that he just dismisses my requests. Now that we have a child together, he seems so relieved and doesn't think there's any problem at all (or is he pretending?). I don't understand how he can stay so calm when I can see this glaring problem exisiting in our relationship. I don't want to talk to my friends about this issue as we all know each other and I don't want to embarrass him as he's a very proud person. My husband has also stopped kissing me, hugging me or holding my hands. He only kisses, hugs and holds the baby now. I get so sad sometimes, that I wonder if he even still loves me. 2. Since the birth of my baby, my husband has critisised me frequently. Little things he say that hurt me a lot, such as, "what kind of mother are you?", "stop coughing so loud, you're waking up the baby, control it geez!" I react very badly to these comments and we often end up arguing. I understand having a baby can be stressful but I always thought we'd take it on together, not for him to constantly critise my parenting skills. I hesitant to talk to my parents or friends about my relationship problems as I don't want to create unnecessary noise from outsiders. Anyone out there going through similar situations? How have you dealt with it?

New2019 Sexless relationship
  • replies: 4

Hi, I've been in a relationship with my partner for over 7 years now. We've had some ups and downs and were engaged until a few months ago but no wedding now. She broke it off about 9 months ago and about 6 weeks later we were back together. I was un... View more

Hi, I've been in a relationship with my partner for over 7 years now. We've had some ups and downs and were engaged until a few months ago but no wedding now. She broke it off about 9 months ago and about 6 weeks later we were back together. I was unaware until about a couple of months later that she was seeing someone from her work during that time even though she denied it several times until finally admitting. Since being back together things have slowly improved. We sleep in the same bed, hug and act like a couple in everyone else's eyes but there has been no sex since getting back together. Ive suggested couples therapy several times but with no luck. I've seen a therapist for a few months to cope with the depression and lack of self worth but really at a loss what to do next. I love her and I think she still loves me but the lack of intimacy is killing me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Sans6829 Dealing with the guilt that I have
  • replies: 9

I lost a baby 25 years ago fell pregnant twelve months later with a beautiful girl who love with all my heart but I hadn't dealt with my grieve and I took my anger and my grieve out on my daughter who now suffers with depression and anxiety. We aren'... View more

I lost a baby 25 years ago fell pregnant twelve months later with a beautiful girl who love with all my heart but I hadn't dealt with my grieve and I took my anger and my grieve out on my daughter who now suffers with depression and anxiety. We aren't talking it has been a long five months my husband got a phone call on Friday from her saying to stop trying to contact her as it sends her back wards every time we do. I would some advice how I deal with the guilt that I have because I am to blame

Cactimad Sadness and grief over daughter being charged
  • replies: 1

I am a newbie but I have read a from that was started by "July" and I hope to gain some support...although my story different my daughter has been charged with an offence and I cannot reveal the details as the matter is still under the court system. ... View more

I am a newbie but I have read a from that was started by "July" and I hope to gain some support...although my story different my daughter has been charged with an offence and I cannot reveal the details as the matter is still under the court system. But I dread the thought of losing my daughter to prison. Its the grief and worry of the potential that is driving myself and my husband to despair. We also feel "dropped" by so called friends and family. It seems in our society people feel if there has been a charge made then the person is guilty! Its been so difficult for us all and not to mention our beautiful daughter ...she was abused and controlled by a horrid creep (the perpetrator of the offences) and is now recovering with anxiety, PTSD, OCD. Now this black cloud that is over her and us. We do have some friends who are absolute rocks but not many (some would say thats all you need and I agree, but it hurts). Ours and our daughter's lives are on standby until all this blows over...she has no friends and no capacity to work...so we are her support and carers. Any help as to how to get through this... in addition to all the reading and therapy we are getting...would be great to hear. Our daughter has been charged but we see her as the victim in all this...its a cruel, cruel world the court system!

tonyc111 breaking up a long term relationship
  • replies: 3

I have just broken of a 10 year relationship with my girlfriend who sufferes from depression I havnt heard from her in days I work away for 2 weeks at a time. she has no support network and no friends to talk to and I know she is spiralling into a de... View more

I have just broken of a 10 year relationship with my girlfriend who sufferes from depression I havnt heard from her in days I work away for 2 weeks at a time. she has no support network and no friends to talk to and I know she is spiralling into a deep depression last I spoke to her she said her live wasn't worth living any more and I am really worried about her and I don't know what to do

Cleo4392 Feel like my husband of 15 years no longer loves me..
  • replies: 2

We’ve been married for 13 yrs, been through a bit here and there but lately I’m just over the way I feel. We aren’t intimate much these days, my fault... I’m a busy woman and don’t stop until the kids are in bed but then just want to sit with him and... View more

We’ve been married for 13 yrs, been through a bit here and there but lately I’m just over the way I feel. We aren’t intimate much these days, my fault... I’m a busy woman and don’t stop until the kids are in bed but then just want to sit with him and watch some tv. He rarely says to me I look great when we go out, which hurts as I rarely dress up. I have anxiety and I feel down a lot... He has always looked at other women in the streets, just another thing that puts me down. He has deleted messages from women at work, more than once that’s for sure. I have had trust issues since day 1 as he was separated from his wife back then but secrets...... We live in a nice area and have so for many many years but he is always off any chance he gets to play golf. I feel like he doesn’t want to be around me. Any chance he gets, he goes. I’m always home weekends with our children and I’m down. i have 1 friend who I see here and there. I have no one else, no other friend, mum, I feel alone. I drink a lot, too much I know but it numbs the way I feel. I’m still a perfect mum through day but of an evening drink because I feel alone and like rubbish. If I didn’t have child I wish I were dead. I’ve attempted a few times but the many other times been too scarred as I have beautiful children. I do feel crap with my life with my husband. I don’t know what to do, I would love for our life together to improve but I dont know how. Thanks for listening xx