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Mental and emotional manipulation from my Mother

Community Member
My Mum struggles with depression and tends to only ever take it out on me. I visited her for my birthday a week ago, and at the dinner table with my family and boyfriend included she abused me and told me I don't deserve to enjoy my 20's because I ruined hers for being born. She constantly guilts me because at my age she was "unhappy" and "stuck" with raising me. I've never once received support from my parents ever since I got a part-time job at 15 and I decided a year ago, (I'm now 20) to move cities and study at university. Now all I hear is how selfish and worthless I am for leaving her and only thinking of myself because she never went to university. I've dealt with this since I was young and I've gotten to the point where it has made me feel numb and pathetic. I don't know what to do someone please help me
1 Reply 1

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi there. You've come to a safe and supportive place to share, so welcome.

I'm really sorry that your mum has said those things to you. Mental illness is difficult, but that's no excuse for saying those things. You're obviously very independent and motivated to have moved and gone to university, so well done to you. I hope uni study is going well for you 🙂

What do you say/do when your mum says hurtful things to you? Are you able to have a conversation with her about how those things make you feel?

You're definitely not selfish for pursuing your own interests and moving forward with your life, and you're not worthless either. I hope you know those things to not be true.

Please pop back and chat when you're up to it. Kind thoughts, Katy