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Online spending

Community Member

I’m a mother of 2, and have been in a relationship going on 11 years and both first relationship and we fell pregnant with 1st daughter 3 months in. I have for some time considered he is Narcissistic, as soon as I was pregnant he changed.

I cook, clean, do the laundry and do all the driving(he does not drive never tried to/wanted to). Without recognition.

We have had past issues that led to Him having regular outburst that were quite extreme and lasted with days of what I can only describe as absolute emotional and psychological torment. Made me feel like I was going crazy.

For the past 3 years he has been at his best in regards to no more extreme outbursts this is due to me separating from him for 6 months. Still has moods but sorts it himself

Until 4 months ago, he has his online game That he puts money on, use to be $150 a month. But it now becoming numerous times in a week, he is competing with people who are spending tens of thousands of dollars, but it is all about being the strongest and toughest and this game is consuming his life, you cannot talk to him when he is on his game as he does not even notice you. He has two others he knows in his life that play it too, one who does not spend and the other who does but can afford to do so.

It usually goes like this he will buy one deal worth the $150 and he will be happy for a while but he will start sending me screen shot pictures of these other deals and saying “if you love me you would buy it” but still making it as a joke and usually will use 😝 and comments like “if we can’t that’s fine”.

But when I don’t and he knows we have some money left, he will Start to get moody and make remarks like ”I’ll have to just spend more now ” or ” dont complain when all my pay Has gone on the game because I have to catch up to others. etc.

if I question him too much about his spending and all the bills we have to pay he turns it on me saying I’m acting crazy and that he said if we didn’t have it not to worry. then completely ignores me with a silent treatment with my responses, turns things on me, constantly messages me, then goes of topic with something else and accuses me of Other things. starts saying I do more for everyone else and not enough for our family. I wake up to him saying things throughout the night about me.

He does not see he is doing anything wrong. He says others can drink alcohol or buy caravans why can’t he spend money on his game if he enjoys it.

what can I do??? Any advice?

2 Replies 2

Community Member
If you think hes a narcissist, then google the grey rock technique and use it against him to help nullify his controlling and manipulation tactics

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Realityunknown,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for your post. It sounds like it's been really hard and I'm honestly sorry and frustrated that you have to put up with this behaviour.

I do agree with you that it's narcisstic, but I personally think it's one step too far and going into psychological abuse.

What might it be like for you to put up some boundaries? Whether that is dedicating x amount of money per month for spending, or even ones about communication - so that you are not having to accept and put up with this, especially if it has already been going on for over four months.