I feel trapped and drowning

[31thorn]

-Myself, 47 yrs old, asian woman, was living with long term partner n his mother for 10yrs.
-My partner, 56yrs old, white man, bought a house with his mother n always been living with her
- My partner's mum, Sue, 80 yrs old, home owner but very negative, not many friends
-Bird, Peter Pan, 2yrs old Sunny, very needy, loud n clingy.
-My sister, FIFY worker, bought a house with her. Left home since meeting my partner.
My partner co-own the house with his mother and i live there for free.
Was away in Melbourne earlier March, got back b4 the outbreak of COVID-19
I got sick when came back n was asked to move back to my place as Sue was freaking out.
It's been 8 weeks since i moved back to my house.
I still drop the bird off at my partner's place to n from work but not allowed to go inside the house.
Bird was given to me by my partner.
Sue never like what i do n would tell it to my face when we're alone
She goes to Grocery shop, bunnings n got her hair cut
And yet no one wants to talk about me moving back with my partner
My bird was screaming so much, i wanted to stop it n i dont want to be near it anymore
Its Mothers day today n i dont want to wish Sue a happy mothers day
I knew she wanted her house n her son back so she is very happy that i 'm not there
I feel, angry, withdrawn n hatred.
My partner never asked me how i feel. We don't talk about many things.
I don't know who to talk to or what i should do.
I meant to drop in to see my partner today but i don't want to see Sue
I hate everything n everyone at the moment
I thought i can cope but recently i'm not coping
Not performing at work either, just hated everything n everyone around me
I don't know what to do anymore. I feel trapped n drowning on my own
Thank you for reading

Some asian woman


 

[Sophie_M]

Hi 31thorn,

Welcome to our online community, we are so grateful that you have taken the brave step in reaching out here today. We're so sorry to hear that you're feeling so low due to what's happening in your family at the moment. Please know that you have come to a safe space to talk these feelings through, and our community is here to offer as much support and advice as you need. 

We would also recommend that you get in touch with an organisation called Relationships Australia. They provide relationship support services for individuals, families and communities and aim to support all people in Australia to achieve positive and respectful relationships. In addition to this, our Support Service is available 24/7 to talk through these thoughts and feelings. If you feel up to it, you can call us on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport

We are also currently contacting you via email with some additional support. We hope that you keep checking back in with us and let us know how you're going, whenever you feel ready.
 

[Tay100]

Hi 31thorn

Thanks for posting- we know it can be daunting even at the best of times, so we appreciate it.

In addition to Sophie_M's great suggestions, you can always talk more on this thread- we are here to listen and we are a caring, non-judgemental space. You could also check out this thread https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/relationship-and-family-issues to find some general tips, read about similar experiences and connect with others. You aren't alone in feeling or experiencing this. Let us know how you go, if you like.

Sending kindness,
Tay100

[ecomama]

Hi 31thorn

I am so glad you came to BB forums for support. I'm so sorry you are going through all this. It sounds like you are sad, angry and frustrated. Big hugs xxxx.

Were you able to see a Doctor when you were unwell?
Getting the 'all clear' may have helped if the partner's mum was worried about covid. Maybe you're right though, maybe the mum used that as an excuse to keep you away but it wasn't the real reason.

Do you feel like your relationship is separated now or is there some relationship left, even with you living at another address?

You brought up 'asian woman' a few times. I was born in Asia too so high five sister! Only answer if you feel comfortable but are you okay with Visas etc? Does a break up with partner affect your residency status? This would help the members here help you to get more specific support if you need it.
I Pray you don't but if you do, then hopefully help will come.

If you don't want to wish Sue a Happy Mother's Day then don't.

I hope you come back to the forum and let us know how you're doing.

Big hugs
EM