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I feel like a second choice

Hello4
Community Member
I’m a 15 year old girl and I’ve had a lot of issues in my friendship group since year 7. They have finally stopped and the group has also expanded a lot. But now that it had everyone has that one person they like d most. But I’m constantly being a third wheel and I can’t. I feel like a burden to everyone. I Have just been feeling so lonely and it hurts so much knowing that I don’t have anyone who truely cares for me in my friendship group and I have family but my relationship with my parents is complicated. I can’t talk to any of my friends either because they won’t understand and I also feel like by telling them I’m just being a burden on their life if you know what I mean. How can I cope with this because it hurts a lot thinking about this and Sometimes there r night where I’m hurting a lot and just break down alone.
5 Replies 5

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator
Welcome to the forums Hello#%😏, we're so glad to have you join us. 
We're so sorry to hear that you're struggling at school. It sounds like a really tough situation with your friendship group. Please know that you don't have to go through this alone, there is help available to you.

We would recommend that you get in touch with Kids Helpline - https://kidshelpline.com.au/ 
It sounds like you're in a really tough situation and it might help to talk it out whenever you're feeling overwhelmed. Kids Helpline counsellors can be contacted 24/7 via telephone and also via webchat if you go through the website provided.

Thanks again for reaching out as we know that it can be really tough to do this for the first time. We hope that you find some comfort here in the words of wisdom and kindness that our community can offer. 

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Hello#%😏~

Welcome here, I'm glad Sophie_M met you, also that she mentioned the Kids Help Line (phone 1800 55 1800) or web-chat

https://kidshelpline.com.au/

(then hit the Get Help pink button) as it sometimes takes someone with experience to help sort things out. and they have tons of that.

It's a pity you are not happy to talk to your parents as you are facing one of the hardest things to deal with at school - being part of a group - and sometimes they can assist you brainstorm ideas that might help. Are your parents both hard to get on with?

Groups do change over time, and you mentioned that new members had come in. Under such circumstances friendships do get re-arranged and some people inadvertently excluded. Not for any mean reason, but just the way things can work out.

Feeling like a third wheel is no fun, everyone else talking in pairs just leaves one feeling lonely and wondering if there is something wrong with you - which won't actually be the case of course.

One thing you can try and do is to see if there are fresh friendships you can make, perhaps not even in the group at all, so they can come in to join with you. There are very often people who are shy or feel alone, offering a bit of friendship can help both of you

Sometimes it can be hard to strike up a new friendship, or find the opportunity to do so. So perhaps keep your eyes open, talk to someone between classes or perhaps if they are eating lunch alone. Find others who share a common interest, either in school or out (these are the sort of ideas that brainstorming I mentioned can come in very handy.)

We would like it if you came back and talked more abut this and what to do

Croix

Hello4
Community Member

Hi Sophie_M

I have tried to talk to a helpline before but it sometimes gets to the point where my parents have to get involved which I don’t want. Is there anything else I can do ?

Thanks

Hello4
Community Member

Hi Croix

Thank you for understanding the situation that I am. My parents are very different to me so we are not very close. I also don’t think that if I were to talk to them about this I wouldn’t be able to properly say what it is that I am feeling because I honestly don’t know what I am feeling and what I want fully. I can’t really make new friends because I am very shy. Also because my everyone has a friendship groups in my year so it’s hard to go into another especially this far into school and fit in. So I feel stuck and I don’t really know what to do. But I don’t wanna loose my d friends I have now because we’ve been through a lot together and I love them so much. What other options have I got? I’m afraid that I’m going to go into depression or something else and maybe even something serious.

Thanks

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Hello#%😏~

A lot of people do not know how htey feel, that have a mix, sometimes a lot of hurt inside, feeling you may not have the courage to do anything, feeling stuck. That others do not treat you well. Then again knowing there are many good things about you.

As to what you want. Well one way to try to arrive somewhere is to write it all down. It can be a letter in which you try to sum it all up, in another you write a journal every day sating what your worrys are and have been for the day and how you feel as you write.

This actualy is probably a better way, each day you get to think on how you are, and after a while you can read back as well.

We could talk about what you do with these another itme

What do you think? Possible?

Croix