I don't know where to start..

[missd]

Sitting here right now I would give anything just to see his face... It's gone from giving anything for a cuddle, give anything to hang out for 5 min, anything to hear his voice and now utter dispair because I just desperately want to see his face. He was my world my rock my everything... My soul mate. The day he left is such a distant memory so why does the pain of losing him intensify each day to the point I can't feel anything and I'm losing myself all together. Maybe it's because I don't have a support network, or a single friend in the world. I know I did it to myself, I made him my world. Why wouldn't I? I had everything I could ever want in life and more right in front of me. We were perfect, how could it go wrong. But then it did... So bad. I will never forgive myself for losing him. I can hardly bare to live with the pain of knowing he was mine and I lost him. How do you get over that great love that rocks your to the core? I just want to be happy again. I can't pull myself out of bed morning after morning and place that fake everything's fine smile on  anymore. I just want to be rescued... Rescued by him!

[CrashCoyote]

Hi missd,

Thank you for your post.

You won't believe me now but you will progress through grief. A loss such as you describe (and I've felt it, too) is still grief, and grief has stages. None of us can avoid the stages and the last one is acceptance.

Have you had any counselling or seen a psychologist about how you feel? There is also lots of literature on this site and the ability to talk to trained people on webchat.

The reality in any normal relationship is that both people must want it. No matter how much you want your ex, if he doesn't want to be with you, you cannot have a relationship with him.

Please do not torture yourself with fantasy or give yourself false hope. If it is salvageable, consider what has to be done to progress that, and if it is not, take care of yourself.

Kind regards, John.

[white knight]

Hi Missd, welcome to beyond Blue forums

You might have to shower yourself in realistic thoughts. You said he is gone. He's gone. So what can you do now?

Fill in your day with activities, hobbies, meeting new people, new friends, chase up some old friends, get out and play bowling, join a group, a sport....move!!

That way your mind is occupied. It helps a lot.

And by the way....love can only be replaced with love IMO.  But if he doesnt come back then the love wasnt strong enough from his side. That is reality as much as we dont like reality we have to move on.

If your mind gets to sad and out of control see your GP and take his/her advice for treatment.

Love is hard, breaking up is harder. I've had 3 loves in my life. 11 years, 10 and now 4. I know the heartache. You dont mention children. If you havent had them with him then thank yourself....for that is a whole level more in pain....

There is a world out there with a special guy waiting for you to meet him. One that will show hid love by remaining around you when times are tough.

Take care Tony WK

[geoff]

dear Missd, welcome to the site.

I'm sorry to hear that the love between the both of you has now gone, but if you want can you tell us why it happened, but this is up to yourself whether you want to tell us.L Geoff. x