In Primary school, there was a girl called S who two times picked up my lunch box, used it to scrape stuff of a seat, threw it into the air, sat down on the seat for about two seconds with her friends laughing and then got of the seat and laughed with her friends and she did this when she saw me go over to collect it because she wanted me to see it. I know this really isn't that bad, but I held a huge grudge on it for a long time.
When I was a teenager, I started using an online forum and I made different characters/accounts to try to work out an out of control social situation because I was getting bullied a lot at school and I didn't have anyone I could really talk to about it. I made two "mean girl" accounts and on one of them, I used S's first name and a very similar last name to hers. After a while of using these accounts, I realized that I wasn't even that annoyed with her anymore (people have done much worse things to me than that), but I kept using the name.
One day, someone on the forum asked "Have you ever pretended to be someone on here before? I was going to but it's kind of like stealing their sole" and I was wondering if it had something to do with me, but I didn't say anything.
I ended up deleted the accounts. Then I thought, if I make it more obvious that I was using irony on the S account, then people will know that it's not real, but no matter how obvious I made my satire, most people still thought I was being serious on that account. I kept thinking, this time people will get it... okay this time people will, but most people thought I was being serious on it no matter how outrageous I was being.
I know what I did was pretty f'd up, but I have no idea what to do now, especially since I continued doing it for a long time and when I try to tell people that I was using irony on that account, they don't believe me and I probably have no idea how much I hurt S.
My sister said to me "well, you have had people pretend to be you too, do you hate them?" and I said no and then she said, "Then S wouldn't feel that bad about it either" but I'm really not to sure about that. I feel pretty bad about what I did and I wish I could go back to fix it and all the other dumb stuff I did.
If I apologized when I had the chance, it probably would have made a difference, but now I feel it would be sort of too little, too late.
