Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a discussion

Blue4u Feeling lost
  • replies: 1

I am struggling at the moment as my partner had a life changing fall back in April this year. I witness the whole incident.Falling onto the road causing multiple fractures from collarbone, elbow, ribs and pelvis. Airlifted by helicopter to ICU Trauma... View more

I am struggling at the moment as my partner had a life changing fall back in April this year. I witness the whole incident.Falling onto the road causing multiple fractures from collarbone, elbow, ribs and pelvis. Airlifted by helicopter to ICU Trauma at Westmead Hospital. Finally after 3 months he came home this week. I have endured the fall, the preparation of not surviving and the lasting disabilities he now has for life.The frail man struggling to perform daily tasks and me now his primary carer.I am so emotional and doubt my ability to live life this way. I feel guilty that I feel this way. I have overcome so much in my own life thanks to him. Anxiety and Panic disorder controlled me for most of my life until I reconnected with him. He gave me self belief and confidence to overcome my fears. I still have these demons but I control them not they me. I just feel life has become so overwhelming right now and am reaching out for some support.

Clover9312 Feeling pessimistic and disheartened about the future
  • replies: 10

I’m 28 years old and I have reached a point where I feel quite scared of the future and pessimistic about what’s in store for me. I worry about being single forever and Loneliness in general - despite having an active and satisfying social life. I di... View more

I’m 28 years old and I have reached a point where I feel quite scared of the future and pessimistic about what’s in store for me. I worry about being single forever and Loneliness in general - despite having an active and satisfying social life. I did have a special romantic relationship a couple of years ago. It was devastating when that ended, but I am still friends with my ex and see him regularly through work. I assure you that this has no real negative impact on my day to day life when I see him. It did take me a while to accept the break up, but I’ve spent a lot of time in therapy processing the experience. Sure, I do feel sad on rare occasions, but not like I used to. I speak to a therapist weekly, I read and journal - all things contributing to my self development and that I’ve been proud of. I felt ready to start dating at the beginning of the year again. I haven’t had much luck on the dating apps - nothing terrible, but no real connection with anyone and I don’t want to settle. Since I do have an anxiety about the future and being single forever, I have to admit that I did something very regretful last night. I contacted a “psychic” tarot reader, who appears to be reputable when I look at her website. I ordered an email reading and I opened my inbox this morning to the most disheartening reading from her. She told me that my heart chakra is blocked, possibly from me not processing my past relationship and she said that she can’t “honestly” see me finding love anytime soon, but it seems I will “eventually”. I have had tarot readings before that have been empowering - people interpret the cards in an inspirational way and give advice. But this left me feeling lousy! I know I have work to do and I definitely have been actively doing work on myself for a very very long time, but this in no way inspired or motivated me. She just left me feeling broken. She didn’t try to make me purchase anything to “unblock this”, so I don’t think it’s a scam, but she has left me feeling like there isn’t much hope for the future. If she were able to intuitively look into my situation, she would’ve surely seen that I’m at least trying. Anyway, it only fed into my fear of not finding a person I can connect with romantically and start a family with. My day has really been impacted. I’m sorry that my post took a strange turn with the psychic element here! I really wish I hadn’t contacted this person for reassurance. I feel very alone.

Karen0901 Mum guilt
  • replies: 3

I have a son. He's 3 and a half. My sister in law is pregnant and my son has said he wants a sibling to me when he found out. I have infertility. My son was a result of 7 years of IVF. I have tried to give him a sibling but it hasn't worked. After my... View more

I have a son. He's 3 and a half. My sister in law is pregnant and my son has said he wants a sibling to me when he found out. I have infertility. My son was a result of 7 years of IVF. I have tried to give him a sibling but it hasn't worked. After my last miscarriage earlier in the year, my mental health has become bad and I fear trying again. I am also getting older. How do I deal with the guilt and anxiety? I feel so upset with myself and my life. I know I have tried my best but it doesn't change the reality of my situation.

HumbleBumble Should I hold on to or let go of my partner with depression?
  • replies: 5

I’m a nineteen-year-old female with a boyfriend I haven’t seen for two whole months since he fell into another episode of his previously diagnosed clinical depression. I thought it wouldn’t last for long because now he’s got me – someone who loves hi... View more

I’m a nineteen-year-old female with a boyfriend I haven’t seen for two whole months since he fell into another episode of his previously diagnosed clinical depression. I thought it wouldn’t last for long because now he’s got me – someone who loves him to infinity and who has treated him better than anyone else in his life has – but boy was I wrong. I’ve dealt with having a friend in school who had depression, and the only thing I could do for myself in the end was stop being friends with them because they were constantly bringing me down along with them and I couldn’t handle it anymore. However, my current situation is different because I’m actually in a relationship with this person and I’d do absolutely anything to keep what we used to have a possibility for the near future, although I know there’s a certain time I won’t be able to stand it anymore, and I can feel it getting closer now that we’re at the two month mark. My boyfriend has told me that he hates and is embarrassed of himself, isn’t worth it, doesn’t want to be around people at all, isn’t passionate about anything and doesn’t see what the point of life is. Hearing this constantly is destroying me, but I’m trying my hardest to hold on for him because he’s expressed that he doesn’t want to break up with me by saying things such as “People I have yet to meet...” [talking about my family and friends], but I just don’t know what to do anymore. He isn’t seeking help and doesn’t want to, so what am I supposed to do? I miss how we used to be so badly. All the sweet words, spending time together, cuddles, kisses and intimate times are only some of the things I really crave in life, and not receiving any of it for two whole months has driven me insane. I believe that this boy deserves the entire world after what he’s been through in life, and I want to be the one who can give that to him because I’m so in love with this gentle human. He’s everything I could ever want in a significant other, but the universe is really testing me. I’m so lost. Someone please help me by letting me know what actions to take in regards to this situation. I love him so much, but should I focus more on myself and what I need in a healthy relationship?

MuM-of-Boys Covid pushing us over the edge...
  • replies: 2

Three of the 4 ppl in our family are on medication for mental health...we are al in isolation and myself and husband are super sick with covid at the moment. Everyone is soooo on edge and getting on each other's nerves . Sooo much yelling and screami... View more

Three of the 4 ppl in our family are on medication for mental health...we are al in isolation and myself and husband are super sick with covid at the moment. Everyone is soooo on edge and getting on each other's nerves . Sooo much yelling and screaming... I can't take it anymore I just want to not be here no more. Got in my car tonight and just drove away... not good thought going through my mind. I'm no sure how we going to make it through this week. I just wanted to get it out. I'm struggling and have been for a while.. this is just pushing me over that edge. Thinking of others struggling. Xx

Devil Separation,rejection, troubled mind
  • replies: 1

I am going through a separation at the moment and with that, anxiety and scariness of what the future holds has taken a grip. Coming from a society where leaving ones’ marriage is still regarded as a taboo and given the history of my mother who had 3... View more

I am going through a separation at the moment and with that, anxiety and scariness of what the future holds has taken a grip. Coming from a society where leaving ones’ marriage is still regarded as a taboo and given the history of my mother who had 3 failed marriages, I kept clinging unto this marriage for this long has only created more pain to me. Years of contemplation, adjustments and compromise made me think that I could continue with this although my feelings for my husband had died a natural death a long time back, still I kept going because of the comfort of a family life and a child. My husband is a genuine nice human being, a good father to our 4 year old and maybe a good husband in many ways but me being an emotional being, my marriage always lacked that emotional need that stirred up my mind almost everyday. I kept going with this marriage thinking that maybe this was my fate until recently I met somebody who gave me that emotional support and I fell hard in love with somebody else, so hard that I felt like this was the revelation of my actual feelings towards this marriage. I came clean with my feelings to my husband and proposed separation because I believed that living with my husband whilst I was in love with someone else would be lying to him and to myself. Everybody tells me that I cheated on my husband but I dont feel it that ways because I was never in this marriage emotionally and mentally and was here only physically because of what “people will think” and also I didnt want to hurt my husband and his family. He tried his best to save the marriage even after knowing this for the sake of our 9 years together and obviously for our child too. I too no doubt gave it a thought but then I simply could not keep doing this given the fact that I could never live a loveless life with nil intimacy. So there are many things going on at the moment. Living miles away from close friends and family, a full time health care worker and a full time student, I am scared to death for what this would bring me. The home that we built lovingly is on sale now, hunting for a place to call home for me and my child, everybody around me judging me and my choices of life, no physical support is only making me more anxious each day. However the irony is that the guy I fell in love with cannot be with me for many reasons. And I feel guilty because nothing hurts me more than this fact that he cannot be with me, not even my failed marriage. Why do I feel this?

Positive_vibes89 Struggling with fertility
  • replies: 5

This is a really deep issue that I have been struggling with for almost 3 years. And the struggle has been massively worse. My husband and I were trying to start a family for a year with no success. This brought us to IVF. Then I was told I had a cys... View more

This is a really deep issue that I have been struggling with for almost 3 years. And the struggle has been massively worse. My husband and I were trying to start a family for a year with no success. This brought us to IVF. Then I was told I had a cyst on my ovary that required surgery. Then post surgery I was diagnosed with endometriosis. I recently found out that my brother got his girlfriend pregnant. My heart sank. They both are horrible people. They were horrible to me and my mum. They didn't come to our wedding. My husband and I had no idea what we had done to them to deserve such treatment even my mum. They called mum to tell her that they were expecting and the girlfriend could be heard in the background saying dont tell anyone. Next minute she's posted it all over her social media with a video of surprising her kid sisters with aunty and her mum with a grandma card. Even the woman that dad left my mum for got a dear stepmother you're going to be a grandma card. Mum and I got nothing. It's just simply terrible that we have been treated this way without even knowing what we have done. I abused them both on social media for being so horrible towards mum and myself. It so upsetting that people like those two who are immature are going to have a child. Where my husband and I have a stable marriage and home for a child. It's hurtful that they have included the homewrecker woman who destroyed my family dynamic as grandma but not my mum. I really feel for my mum. How can I cope with all of this mentally knowing that she's pregnant and I'm not as well.

Kirua Only person I want help from cannot be here for me
  • replies: 9

I have a bad habit of venting without leaving much room for advice. I want to share how I feel and what I am going through, but don't really expect help -- though I always enjoy hearing others perspectives and advice if they do have any, or even just... View more

I have a bad habit of venting without leaving much room for advice. I want to share how I feel and what I am going through, but don't really expect help -- though I always enjoy hearing others perspectives and advice if they do have any, or even just sympathetic or empathetic comments. Sometimes I think it is impossible for me to have friends. While I do have severe social anxiety, I don't find it that hard to make friends. But maintaining friendships is a huge task for me. I can go through days, weeks, or even months of ignoring my friends. Basically, I am genuinely a terrible friend a lot of the time. My therapist recently brought up autism and I'm starting to think this is related to that. My ex is also autistic and says they haven't been speaking to most of their friends for weeks, including me. I was going through a really bad time with my mental health; so bad my mother is spending hundreds to fly here to clean my place and take care of me. I'm most likely going to try getting admitted into a mental hospital. I went back on antidepressants. I wasn't eating at all. I skipped all my classes and gave up on university. I have been ignoring most friends since January. The only person I spoke to about this, aside from my therapist, was my ex. I was really clear (in fact, my therapist brought up autism because of how direct I was in my messages to my ex) about how I felt and what I was going through, and what I wanted them to do to help (see them 1 day that month because I was very isolated). They replied immediately to these messages and originally they gave days they were free to see me. They said we'll meet up this week and it'll be really fun, we'll go to the museum, etc. But they would always end up being busy on the day. And they never texted to check up on me, despite knowing the horrible state I was in. I know they're going through their own issues right now and I have been very vocal about being there for them, but they have never once come to me for help. And I'm realising that the things I offer (e.g. helping them clean, bringing them food, listening, giving advice, going over assignments, calling, hugs, etc.) are all things I want them to do for me. But they do not help me, nor do they allow me to help them. I have felt so abandoned by them for almost our entire relationship. I keep wanting them to be someone they will never be and it's painful. I want to be closer -- not romantically, but as friends.

Donnatella Getting back with ex. ?
  • replies: 9

I have just recently broken up with my ex. We used to live together and when I found out he was chatting to another girl I kicked him out. It’s still fresh and we all know that grey area of still talking to their exes and intimacy with their exes. Th... View more

I have just recently broken up with my ex. We used to live together and when I found out he was chatting to another girl I kicked him out. It’s still fresh and we all know that grey area of still talking to their exes and intimacy with their exes. This is where I’m at, except that ; now he’s living on his own and things not the same. We would get intimate but then he would go home n I’m left feeling less of value. I love him so much, I’m so confused. Messages getting less, he seems to be enjoying his freedom but still have access to me. He did say to give it another try but with what he’s done n my trust issues I feel like he’s having the best of both worlds. please give me advice on how to deal with this?

Pysis Depression and divorce
  • replies: 2

Hi I've been on these forums before when I was 18 I'm now 23 years old I've been married and have a 1 year old son. I work in disability and recently I let it get to me and Ive had a mental break down. My main client I work with is very violent at ti... View more

Hi I've been on these forums before when I was 18 I'm now 23 years old I've been married and have a 1 year old son. I work in disability and recently I let it get to me and Ive had a mental break down. My main client I work with is very violent at time and cab be difficult to cope with my wife hasn't understood and when I've tried to talk to her she makes me feel like I'm a monster for "alloweing" my client to get to the point where she losses control, I have no control over my clients actions as much as I try and help her she has had a very nasty past and as a result she lashes out. Recently I haven't felt connected to my wife at all and feel like nothing I do is good enough a few months ago she threatened to take my son and leave unless I moved to where her mother lives 12 hours away we went through the qhile loan process and couldnt afford it though about 3 days ago I asked for a break for a couple days to clear my head she lost it and kicked me out and became very nasty, I stayed at my friends for a night and a day before I headed home because she was begging me to, when I got home it felt like a personal attack she told me everything o was doing wrong but wouldn't recognise that she had faults as well. The next day she told me her list of things she needed me to do for her to stay with me one of these was to not talk to one of my best friends who is female and she is threatened by and not to talk about what was going on with any of my friends, I ended up having a panic attack and said I didn't think I could do that she lost it and told me to get out and that she would file for divorce the next day. I ended up going to work but about an hour into my shift it all became to much and I had to ask my boss to find someone to cover me he wasn't happy with me at all. My wife started to become quite nasty and has hacked my Snapchats and has been printing out any messages I send to my friends weather it's about her or not. She has said I will amount to nothing and I will never find another person to share my life with, she thinks I'm incredibly selfish and that I won't be able to survive by myself. I just feel so broken at the moment I feel like o can't talk to my friends because I don't know what she has and hasn't hacked and I feel like an absolute failure I miss my son and I don't know how to be a person with out her any more I've changed a lot of who I am and what I do to make her happy and I think I've forgotten who I am.