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I cannot de with touching my boyfriend

Community Member
I am in a relationship, but I cannot hug, kiss or anything with my boyfriend. Every time he touches me, I become nervous and repulsed, even to the point of being mean so that he doesn’t touch me. I want to hug and kiss etc, but I just can’t! I’m not sure if I should be getting therapy for this or if there’s even an underlying issue, but it’s really scaring me. I’m turning 20 and I can’t touch my boyfriend 😞
4 Replies 4

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello _hoggers, and welcome to the forums.

There are a couple of queries regarding your comment and if possible could I ask you, please only answer when you want to.

Have you fallen out of love with him or perhaps there could be a female you like more and if so, please don't worry.

Hope to hear back from you.


Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi hoggers,

I’m sorry you are going through this, it must be very distressing for you. I think the big thing that you will need to get to the bottom of is why you feel this way as that will dictate your solution and how easy your problem will be to overcome. How long have you been dating your boyfriend? Have you felt sexual desire for him during this time? Have you felt sexual desire for anyone else at any point? Have you had any sexual experience previously? Do you think that your nervousness/anxiety may be causing you to feel this way? I’m sorry for the fairly intrusive comments but I’m just trying to get to the bottom of why you may feel this way - do you have any inklings?

Community Champion
Community Champion


Welcome to the forum.

Thank you for being very honest in your post.

Geoff and Juliet have given you helpful suggestions and we are listening to you.

There will be people reading your post who will relate so they will not feel so alone.

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni


Thank you for being so open here. I can see that you are feeling confused and helpless.

A few questions: Have you had a boyfriend in the past? Has something triggered you to feel this way or do you just not like feeling touched?

Everyone is different and has different love languages. It may take a long time for you to get used to being touched.

Stay safe and i am here to chat if you need me.