I am ruining a relationship before it can begin

[KatiePie]

I have recently started seeing an amazing guy. He's sweet, kind, funny and absolutely wonderful. But I can't get out of my own head and it's ruining this. He has never given me any reason to doubt it but I can't stop.

I really really like him. I have to change my way of thinking.

[indigo22]

Hi KatiePie,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for reaching out to us.

In situations like this, there is often a past experience that is getting in the way. Can you think of a situation in the past that might be causing you to doubt?

He sounds like a special person but is it your gut or your head that is leading the way here?

If your gut is telling you to be cautious then I would be listening to that. Your gut is seldom wrong when it comes to other people's energy.

If it is your head telling you that men can't be trusted (or something along those lines) then you probably need to do some thinking about who or what put that idea into your head in the first place, and more importantly, is it actually true according to your experience.

Please feel free to continue this conversation if you are comfortable doing so.

Take care,

indigo

[tranzcrybe]

Indeed, he is the many things you see in him.

Is the list just as long (or accurate) for what he sees in you?

And is the foundation strong enough for you both to willingly accept the passage of time needed to build trust and closeness?

You never 'must' or 'have to' if it is real.

[ABC01]

Dear KatiePie,

Anxiety is a tool for usefulness as well as destructiveness,depending on your mindset and headspace.

As others have said, sometimes there is a reason to listen to your gut.

However sometimes when things seem too good, we believe we don’t deserve them or are in a period of being out of our comfort zone so much that it worries us and then anxiety throws around thoughts to sometimes self sabotage ourselves.

This isn’t a question to answer to me, but is there a reason why you are in your head,such as past relationship experiences? Is there something blocking you from fully enjoying and engaging? Can you identify it and then address it whilst still seeing your new guy?
I hope you find answers soon. 
ABC01