I am having trouble coping lately
Hi there Helen
Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you so much for coming here and sharing your post.
Wow, your story is a deep and troubled one and the amount of close deaths of family members experienced by you is more than most people could possibly cope with.
It sounds like you’ve been having to cope with all this for such a long time now and largely, by yourself??
It is pleasing to hear that you’ve been able to get back on some medication again – does that also mean that you’ve been along to your GP recently, so that they are also aware of just how things are for you at this time??
It’s great that you’ve been able to reach out on this site – there are some amazing people here, who I believe will be coming along and providing you with posts of possible advice, guidance and above all else, support for you. I know we’re all just via the internet and behind keyboards, but believe me when I say, it DOES help to be able to vent here and unload and share. There’s many shoulders here who are brilliant for leaning on.
I do hope that you can stay with us for as long as you feel comfortable in doing so – and I hope that by providing your first post, even just typing it down, has hopefully helped you in a small way. Please write back to us as often as you feel able to and if you have questions, please fire away with them.
Family troubles – they are so unnecessary and silly – but they happen and they happen often. I don’t know why some people become so toxic and insist that everyone is wrong, except for themselves. It doesn’t do anything to help a situation and more often than not, only makes things so much worse.
I wish I was able to provide you with more advice on this, but while I’m not in the same situation as you, there’s a situation brewing that is downright ugly.
Please stay with us here and keep posting.
Awesome to hear back from you again and thanx for your latest reply.
I’ve just finished writing to another person on this site about the courage that they are displaying – and indeed, courage comes in many shapes and forms and with what you’ve been able to do of late, that is really awesome.
But before I go on, I do have to 100% agree with you – why do people have to be so vengeful, spiteful and mean? I just do not understand it – I think it is the bully mentality; that this is the way these people are and will always be. But to be this way in the aftermath of the death of a loved one, just defies normal human characteristics. I could go on, but it’s something that I’m trying to keep under wraps as well; it’s been pretty quiet on my side of things for a while now, which is awesome, but I have no doubt that there’ll be further crap to deal with in the New Year. And yes, as you’ve mentioned – if they’d just go about their own business, etc; they could go on with their hateful lives and we can live ours – totally apart and totally happy (well, I’ll be “happy”; they’ll always be hateful to almost everyone they come in contact with).
Good on you for going to the Police and getting things seen to in that manner. And great news that by you doing that, has really had a great after effect for you. Less trouble, less hassles – and you made another comment about “standing up for yourself” – and that again is doing something against a bully – where so often they will get away with it because the victim just does nothing; but if you make a challenge, and when it’s a sole bully, they don’t normally come up against an offensive and don’t like it. Just my thoughts on that.
The hurt regarding your son will still be very much there – and in a way, these other things have taken place and have been kind of a distraction – but it doesn’t detract from the fact of what has happened. I personally think that’s where occupation of the mind is something that should be pursued. Whether it’s pushing certain “bad” things under the carpet for a while by not addressing it, is up for debate – but it is one way of coping.
There’s been some horrific things happening in the world of late – some things just should never happen. 😞
But Helen, I hope that Christmas for you is a super relaxing one and even more so, a Happy one for you.
Hi there Helen;
Great to hear back from you as always and I can never get over the fact that you’re in Scotland, pretty much on the other side of the globe and here we are in Australia; in all our respective locations. In some places battling the heat of summer and others, where the temps haven’t risen to any great heights just yet; but still plenty of time for that.
Wow, thank you so much for your wonderful and kind words – I guess I’ve found that to reach out to others who are in a bad way, helps me. It’s a bit funny in a way, that I’m using my years of suffering and the experience/knowledge gained from that to promote it to others through this site and to help out as much as I can. If I never suffered from this mongrel disease, then I would probably never have come to this site. But it is a kind of therapy for me in a way and so I continue to do it. When I hear messages back from people, like you’ve just expressed, it really does fill me with a feeling of pride and that I’m ‘doing something good with my life’. So to read your response, I really do thank you so much.
The things that you’ve put into place to help you get to a ‘better place’ are sounding like they’re really reaping benefits now – a new doctor and a new psyche, both of which you have found to be beneficial to you; and as we know, even finding a good and caring dr can be a hit & miss project. And if you’ve felt such awesome benefits from just the one session with this new person, the next number of sessions could really create a ‘new you’. But just to get your sleep to be different and better for you was a massive tick for you.
And yes, while imagination can be a wondrous thing; it can also be bad for us if we can’t overly control it and let it run away and play nasty games with us in our minds. So if your psyche is able to assist you with this and to harness it in and to make it work for you in a fun, positive and helpful way, this is yet another aspect that is going to be so amazing for you.
For me, at present, it’s kind of slow and steady; with no real news, which is good. I guess the old philosophy of no news is good news. 🙂
As always, write back whenever you feel able too.