How to forgive myelf for being a terrible gf when my bf has left me ... deeply sad and broken hearted, not knowing how to move on

[Linda1818]

Being plagued by guilt and deep pain in the heart.. not able to cope with life.. don't know how to move on, my family is in Germany and here I am on my own, psychologist doesn't really help.. any people I can talk to?

[Zeal]

Hi Linda,

I'm sorry to hear you are suffering emotionally at the moment. If you feel your psychologist doesn't help, perhaps you could try someone else. You could try another psychologist, a counsellor, or you could talk to your GP. Confiding in close friends could also be beneficial. I obviously don't know what you've been through with your boyfriend. However, if you weren't being the girlfriend you wanted to be due to mental illness, this is not your fault. Relationships are hard, and as long as you haven't crossed any major moral boundaries (such as cheating), you don't deserve to feel such intense guilt. Even if your actions were unhelpful to the relationship, it's important to remember that everyone makes errors and bad judgements sometimes.

I hope you are able to cope better soon 🙂

Best wishes,

SM

[Linda1818]

Hi SM, no I have been strongly loyal to my bf. my distrust escalated after i learned about his past with prostitutes and since then i  made his and my life to hell. I was controlling, distrusting in any aspect you can think of. Good times started to get scarce and i couldnt overcome this issue because i didnt go to psychologist, now i am plagued by guild and physical heart ache. i cant sleep i cant eat, i am afraid not to meet such a beautiful person again. He always got incredible defensive when distrust came, he never respponded kindly to it, i know it is difficult to be with the person you distrust in a nice way but he wanted a healthy girlfriend and i wasnt it. I wish i started seeing mental professional earlier and get rid of this distructive thoughts that he may cheat on me as i learned about his past.

i am so deeply sad