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Housemate/ relationship issues
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Hello again BB community… I wanted to see if anyone would like to chat about stuff… I am having a hard time on my own tonight. My boyfriend of 2 years had another fight with our housemate who is 10 years my senior. I am 33. I don’t have any friends in this city and am unemployed and in the middle of a mental health assessment for possible ASD/not sure what else. My Boyfriend also has been diagnosed ASD. We are very kind and amiable people but my boyfriend gets really overwhelmed with visitors staying over and our housemate doesn’t care about his needs. Anyway long story short my bf blew up at housemate over text message about his friend leering into my room while I was in there one day on my own which made me feel uncomfortable. I don’t feel very safe living here and we both just want to feel comfortable as we pay the majority of the rent. The house is currently feeling like in lockdown everyone is not talking and I have tried to schedule a meeting but the two won’t talk. Not sure what to do… I would like some advice… as I feel like I am on the verge of being homeless yet again… and jobless… I can’t afford to move just yet but might want to move out on my own again to get healthy space back. Can anyone relate? Sharehousing can be such madness but it really comes down to trust and communication, kindness and respect… our housemate doesn’t give a shit about us and makes it clear to us as well. 😞 i just cant remember the last time I felt at “home” somewhere.
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Hi R.Penn,
Thanks for your post and good to hear from you. I'm sorry you're in such a tense situation and are feeling uncomfortable at home. If I were you I would keep a log of offences that you're housemate is committing such as inviting offensive guests etc. When you feel you have enough it may be best to approach your landlord and explain why your housemate is an inappropriate tenant. In the meantime, a meeting is a good idea to set some boundaries.
Keep us posted.
Bob
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Thank you for your reply Bob. Things are still feeling tense and uncomfortable for me here. I didn’t even do anything wrong and our crappy housemate has not bothered to my requests for a house meeting. He has been here longer and essentially thinks it’s his house. I was homeless last year so would never wish that upon anyone even if I didn’t like them. I just think he is very immature, I tried to talk to him face to face after giving it a couple of days rest and he straight out said hi and walked away when I asked if he wanted to talk. I took that as a no so I am keeping my distance. He then went into the kitchen one day when I was preparing breakfast and barged through like i wasn’t there. I created space and then he went to do it again like an intimidation move and I got some back bone and walked straight to where I was originally standing and looked him in the eyes for once. I haven’t had a problem since then with him, i really want to move but feeling so stuck here without a job, friends, and it’s still hard finding housing up in Qld. I have to stay here for the next four months so I can somehow save for a new bond and get out of here by the end of the lease. I feel miserable here, I try and meditate and do self care but he is still here and bringing the vibe down.
Thank you for your support. I have started recording his behaviour and actions too that was good advice.
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Hi R.Penn,
Thanks for the update. I'm sorry that things are still tense. I hope things calm down over the next few weeks. I'm thinking things might be tense at the moment due to the argument but it doesn't excuse bad or aggressive behaviour. It might be best to keep the two of them separated if possible for a few weeks while things cool off. I empathise with you not being able to financially move out. Things are tough at the moment. I am in a similar situation.
Bob