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People wanting to get revenge on me becasue I stopped being friends with them

Earth Girl
Community Member

I was semi friends with this girl from college and I thought she and her friends were nice, but I wasn't really feeling the friendship anymore so i asked my sister what to do and she said to just keep telling them that you are busy and they will probably stop asking you to hang out. I did this for a while and so one day the girl said "I'm here for you but as far as our friendship goes I'm taking a step back because you obviously want space" and I didn't know what that meant but I thought she thought that I was annoyed with her and I didn't want her to think that so I just told her I was going through a hard time and we stayed friends for a bit longer. I remembered that my sister said it's okay to unfriend people on Facebook so I unfriended her and her guy friend because I didn't think they would find it hurtful, but several months later I got a message from them asking me why I unfriended them. I told the girl that I just didn't really feel a connection and that I didn't want to be friends anymore and she got really mad and said "thanks for using me" which wasn't what I was trying to do - I just didn't want to be friends anymore. Her guy friend texted me the same question a couple days later and I told him that I just wasn't really feeling the friendship with the girl and he said "She's really nice so please help me understand why you didn't see a connection there" I didn't want to say anything because I felt awkward but I told him that I just couldn't open up to her much and that she kind of bullied a girl about her weight and he said that for now at least, it was goodbye.

 

I found out recently that this girl is planning serious revenge on me. I know now that I shouldn't have just unfriended them and I wouldn't have if I knew they would find it hurtful, but I have had people do worse things to me than that and I don't want to get revenge on them. And another girl is also really mad at me for not wanting to be friends with her anymore even though I tried to end the friendship as nicely as I could. Since a lot of people don't like me, they have chosen to side with these two and gang up on me and it's tons of people against one person (my family don't take it seriously). I don't know what to do and I didn't think they would get this upset over it. I know what I did wasn't the best I didn't know what else to do at the time. My Mum told me that if the guy asks that question that it's good that I answered it, but before she said it might have been better not to

4 Replies 4

tranzcrybe
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Parents rarely see the enormity of social conflict in the school environment, but this is a very real concern for your mental well being. Such thoughts of 'revenge' or any suggestion of causing emotional trauma is threatening behaviour which can quickly get out of hand.
Even though they may not comprehend what this means to you, please implore your parents to listen and act as necessary - whether that involves intervention through the principal or student welfare coordinator is something to discuss openly with them in the first instance.

An opportunity to correct misconceptions of those concerned (in a safe place) might abate any egregiousness if handled discretely.
Please make use of the resources available and don't try to tackle this alone.

Thank you tranzcrybe,

 

Me and these people I was friends with are actually in our late 20's so I'm going to see if I can see a counselor at the CIT I use to go to because a lot of people I know go there and so some people there know me and some would know the girl who is planning full on revenge on me because she also went there at one stage.

 

I know I didn't handle the situation well when I stopped being friends with the boy and girl, but I didn't think things would get this out of hand. I tried to end the friendship with my other friend who is in her 30's as nicely as I could, but she's still angry with me as well and people are saying that I never really cared about these people which isn't true, I just didn't want to be close friends anymore because I grew out of the friendships.

Oops! Apologies for my misconstrued age range, but what you intend doing sounds like a great step in the right direction.
Bringing this to the attention of those in authority gives you an 'umbrella of safety' if things get too stormy, and in this sense there is a certain duty of care from them to see this amicably resolved for the good of all.
I hope you can patch things up with your associates(!) and even build a stronger bond as a result of addressing and clearing up misunderstandings.

That's okay. 🙂

Thanks again!