Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Start a discussion

C_Del Boyfriend has separated with me, can i get him back
  • replies: 8

4 days ago i got txt from my BF saying he wanted to break up. His reasons were that he doesnt feel an emotional or sexual connection with me. This has happened before but we have always got back together. During our relationship he has told me that h... View more

4 days ago i got txt from my BF saying he wanted to break up. His reasons were that he doesnt feel an emotional or sexual connection with me. This has happened before but we have always got back together. During our relationship he has told me that he is falling for me and we have been intimate at times but he has told me that his sex drive is very low and its not something he feels like doing often. He has said its not my fault and that i turn him on and he wanted to get help and fix the situation. He never did seek help however and now i feel he is pushing me away again because he feels i deserve someone who can offer me more. The other times he has pushed me away there have been issues that he was facing and didnt want to be a burden on me but he uses the excuse of sexual connection. After reading the signs of depression i wonder if he is depressed and doesnt know any other way than to push me away. He has low libido, doesnt sleep very well, constantly tired and wants to just sit at his flat on his bed watching tv or on his phone and has said before that he has anxiety at times. Im lost with what to do!! I love this guy immensely and want to be with him but feel like he will keep pushing me away. His upbringing wasnt the greatest and i believe his relationships with women have been a little unsteady. We really do have the best connection and he even says im his best friend. We will txt each other at the same time and even about the same thing all the time. Please if anyone can give any insight into how i can reach out to him and help him and get our relationship back i would be very grateful. What we have is way to special to give up on so easily.....

Elle_gross Anxious and confused :(
  • replies: 3

Recently I got into this weird “more than friends” thing and it’s giving me such confusion and anxiety. We both want to focus on our studies since it’s our senior year so we decided to agree to start the real relationship by the end of senior year. B... View more

Recently I got into this weird “more than friends” thing and it’s giving me such confusion and anxiety. We both want to focus on our studies since it’s our senior year so we decided to agree to start the real relationship by the end of senior year. Because of that decision he doesn’t really talk to me much so I’m just in constant anxiety even though I know it’s because he wants to focus on himself and study for the moment:(( Like the negative thoughts in my head keep telling me that if he was really interested in me enough he would talk to me more. If he doesn’t talk to me often I just assume it’s because he doesn’t want to. I know it’s not a healthy behaviour for me because I even get jealous of his friends that get to spend time with him even though I know I shouldn’t be! Like I just really want to talk to him so bad it hurts But it doesn’t seem like it bothers him so much which hurts me a bit too:(( These strong emotions keep me from my hobbies and studying. I’ve talked to him about this issue before and he told me I need to be productive too and that caring for me is making sure I am the best I can be. He says he doesn’t want to hold me back. I was productive today but I just ended up feeling worse in the end from all the suppressing and distracting my true emotions. Please help me on how to cope or if this even is the right path for me!

Sad5 Husband forbids me to take Our son to my parents house.
  • replies: 21

My husband and dad had a fight a year back which resulted in me also not talking to my dad. Anyway I now have a 2month old and my husband forbids me taking my son to my parents house to Christmas. My son can see my parents but not at their house and ... View more

My husband and dad had a fight a year back which resulted in me also not talking to my dad. Anyway I now have a 2month old and my husband forbids me taking my son to my parents house to Christmas. My son can see my parents but not at their house and he thinks Mt fam is toxic. I dunno what to do..

awfulpers0n No One Knows How I Really Treat My Partner
  • replies: 2

This evening I called my partner of 14 years names when I found she had a plan to potentially commit suicide yesterday. No normal person would get angry at their partner being suicidal and call them names when they are feeling at their lowest. I shou... View more

This evening I called my partner of 14 years names when I found she had a plan to potentially commit suicide yesterday. No normal person would get angry at their partner being suicidal and call them names when they are feeling at their lowest. I should have been caring and understanding. I am an awful narcissist who took her from one bad family situation and brought her into another one. I have never looked after her properly in our time together and everything I have done to help her has been begged for by her. We had a fight yesterday because I stopped doing something that I promised her I would do everyday to make myself better. I lied and did not tell her about this. I then acted like a victim and made her feel trapped and suicidal as she has no one else but me. I am writing this because I don't have anyone around me that knows what I am really like. The thought of messaging or telling a friend or work colleague fills me with so much shame and anxiety. I don't know how to fix this or myself, I know I want to be with my partner and that they deserve someone so much better than me. The thought of losing them should have been motivation for me to change years ago. I really am an awful person that doesn't deserve to have someone as caring and loving as my partner has been. I need serious help to fix myself.

Sallyanne2 Things aren’t looking good
  • replies: 3

Last year my husband let me know he wasn’t happy in this relationship and possibly wanted out. We’ll just over 12 mths on it doesn’t seem to be any better. He has financially abused me all of our married life which makes me feel worthless, unapprecia... View more

Last year my husband let me know he wasn’t happy in this relationship and possibly wanted out. We’ll just over 12 mths on it doesn’t seem to be any better. He has financially abused me all of our married life which makes me feel worthless, unappreciated, undeserving and not equal in this relationship. I haven’t worked since having kids, they are grown and left home now. He has been the sole supporter and he has always controlled the money. Long story short I have to account for everything I want or spend. I’m in a position to now buy my mothers small place which is big enough for me but I’m unsure if the social security payment would be enough for me to live on and pay the bills. We would have to sell our house but I have have money left from my mum after she passed so that’s how I can afford to buy it from my siblings. I wouldn’t have any cash left but was wondering if I could live on social security payment till I was retirement age. I’m 59 now. Is it enough to get me through. Just needing some advice.

Flower1990 Feeling lost - can't seem to move on from this hurtful and painful relationship
  • replies: 16

Hi, I just need to get this out so I can try to put this relationship behind me + move on. Today, I have been feeling really lost + upset. Background history: This was the first guy I was in a relationship with since my divorce (ended due to infideli... View more

Hi, I just need to get this out so I can try to put this relationship behind me + move on. Today, I have been feeling really lost + upset. Background history: This was the first guy I was in a relationship with since my divorce (ended due to infidelity). At the start, everything was amazing + I fell in love with him pretty fast even though I was hesitant given what had happened in my previous relationship. I was with this new guy for about a year roughly when he cheated on me (apparently just kissed another girl) during an arranged meet up. He ended things with me as we were not in a good place at the time then ended up in a relationship with the girl he cheated with. At the time, we had been up + down a lot and I wasn't happy with how the relationship was going either. He presented with some narcissistic tendencies + made me feel sad a lot. He wanted to be back with me after a few weeks but I was hesitant ofcourse, so he went back and forth between us. When she fell pregnant (not planned) , he was devastated because he said he wanted that with me, and it has been an up and down rollercoaster ever since. I still wanted to be with him but was so heartbroken that she was pregnant. I went back + forth between urging him to be with her to make it work + then still wanting him to be with me. It was all just a big mess/lots of lies.He claims to have always wanted to be with me and still does now but he just messed it all up. I tried to be with him again but felt I could never just forget about the past + move forward to be with him in the way I would want to be with someone. There would always be trust issues. We stopped talking a few days ago so we can move on.I just have all of these feelings of guilt, shame, jealousy, sadness, loneliness, go from hating him to missing him, to feeling bad for the other woman. He said that he isn't going to be involved with the child or her at all but he has said those things before + has done the opposite. I feel like going back to her will always be an option now because they have this child. Even writing this all down seems crazy.I still can't believe it all happened.I am just having a bad day + feel sad with everything that's happened.I wish I made different choices + wish that I can just put it all behind me + feel indifferent. This has been going on over the last year + a half or so since we initially broke up.The child is now about 7 months old.He also has another child who is 8 years old to another woman previously.

Abbie121 Loneliness and not connecting
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone I find myself both isolating myself from people and at the same time desperately wanting to see people - a strange and sad contradiction. I live alone and don’t have many close connections. When I see certain family members I feel we’re n... View more

Hi everyone I find myself both isolating myself from people and at the same time desperately wanting to see people - a strange and sad contradiction. I live alone and don’t have many close connections. When I see certain family members I feel we’re not on the same wavelength anymore and don’t have the same level of enjoyment I used to with them. I think I bore them and they think I’m weird. Same with some friends who don’t contact me anymore. I try to engage in self care activities and nice things but I’m sick of doing everything alone, especially at this time of year when everyone is together and doing fun things. Hoping I can pull myself out of this hole soon.

Annaliana I think my BF is mentally ill or abusive
  • replies: 2

So I'm female and in my mids 20s. My BF was in his late 20s and I was 19 when we met, we've been together since then. We met through a social group. I have an abusive family so we moved in together within a few months so I could get away from them. A... View more

So I'm female and in my mids 20s. My BF was in his late 20s and I was 19 when we met, we've been together since then. We met through a social group. I have an abusive family so we moved in together within a few months so I could get away from them. As time when I started noticing disturbing behaviour very slowly develop from him. He was chronically late tp everything, friends parties, weddings, funerals, our own dates, coming home from work pretty much everuthing. If we were together I'd have to try and bother him to be on time, but we'd always be late and it was embarassing. His moods started to become crazy, he loved me one minute, hated me another and had a baseline level of irritation all the time. Eventually he started taking it out on me a bit, yelling at me for the smallest things and treating me kind of badly. He started to get very indecisive and not know what he wanted anymore. If we went out, he'd complain that he wanted to be at home relaxing. If we were at home relaxing, he'd complain he wanted to be out. Movies and TV that he loved before, he suddenly hated and the opposite, but wouldn't admit that it had happened and would convince me he always loved/hated it. He started telling me he was empty inside and he didn't know if he wanted to be with me anymore, but that would change the next day. After a few years he developed anger issues, even tried to join a fight one time and started punching walls, doors and throwing things. He started to have delusions about how everyone hated him, found him ugly and that people purposely avoided touching him when giving him change and that they made faces of disgust. All his friends only were friends with him out of pity. He started to become very aggressive and do dangerous things, like sleeping outside, leaving the house without telling anyone without his wallet, keys or phone and driving super recklessly. Sometimes he wouldn't come home and I'd have to ask people where he was. He seemed constantly depressed and miserable. We fought all the time for hours over these things. I put my foot down and said he needed therapy and that I'm moving out. He agreed to go and I moved out to save my own mental health. He went for a bit, but it became less and now he's not going. He had a pretty bad childhood, with an extremely overbearing mentally ill mother and alcoholic father. I think he's severely mentally ill. I am still moves out and don't know ehat to do, he denies that there is anything wrong. Help!

Jozel Cheating husband what to do?
  • replies: 7

I just discovered my husband is having an affair with another woman. He is seeing her about 3 times a week, probably for the past 3 months. He uses overtime work excuses each time. It hurts as he is not only cheating on me but also our two teenager c... View more

I just discovered my husband is having an affair with another woman. He is seeing her about 3 times a week, probably for the past 3 months. He uses overtime work excuses each time. It hurts as he is not only cheating on me but also our two teenager children. Due to pandemic, us three often just stay at home during school holiday while he is out having affair. I felt like telling him condom doesn't protect him from Covid!! Things were not rosy before this discovery anyway. Now I can't trust anything he says. I haven't confronted him yet, not sure I will or how. is there a counselling service for me to work through things first? can someone give some recommendations?

PsychedelicFur Still Grieving Over The Abuse
  • replies: 18

Hello there, I left my very psychologically abusive ex partner a little over ten months ago. I have days, like today where I’m still grieving and feeling extremely emotionally drained. Why do these things still affect so badly? Those words, even afte... View more

Hello there, I left my very psychologically abusive ex partner a little over ten months ago. I have days, like today where I’m still grieving and feeling extremely emotionally drained. Why do these things still affect so badly? Those words, even after ten months still cut me very deeply. My partner would comment on my appearance by saying I need to lose weight and then rate my looks out of ten. And say “oh well, your looks don’t really matter.” He even triangulated me and compared me to other girls. Saying ; “If it were between you and her.. I would pick her any day over you!” He would also say things like : “It’s you that’s the problem. I can deal with my emotions. Maybe you need to realise that you are a horrible person and you need to learn that the hard way. By losing someone close to you in your life. I can’t deal with your anxiety anymore.” “You are far too sensitive.” “If you weren’t so anxious then I would never have said that to you. You make me react that way with your behaviour.” And... “You are pathetic. You are so immature, GROW UP! I’m not going to parent you. I’m getting to a point where I don’t want to speak anymore. If you can’t deal with the stress of this relationship then good-luck getting any type of job in your dream pathway.” I’m still traumatised from those experiences. Even though I am out of the relationship ... I still very much feel a sense of brokenness, confusion and devastation. This was my first ever proper relationship. I remember him shouting at me in the botanical gardens in the city after we had an argument near the art gallery. I remember how my heart was palpitating. And I also remember how I was shaking, crying and hyperventilating uncontrollably as he stood there yelling at me - “YOU ARE SO IMMATURE! GROW UP!” PF.