Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a discussion

Krissage BPD breakup
  • replies: 2

Hey guys,So I recently went through a long distance relationship just over 4 intense months with someone who has bpd. I myself have bpd also and this relationship impacted me like no other. I felt sick with jealousy (polyamorous) to the point I was a... View more

Hey guys,So I recently went through a long distance relationship just over 4 intense months with someone who has bpd. I myself have bpd also and this relationship impacted me like no other. I felt sick with jealousy (polyamorous) to the point I was actually vomiting. When we broke up it was confusing and they begged me to wait for them to be better and come out of the ward. When they came out they have been distant and I'd be lucky to get one message a day. I thought I had moved on but when I see their tiktok and feel sick again, they are flirting with someone new. I try talking to them but they ignore me. How do I move on

dirtbiker Struggling with relationships
  • replies: 19

Hi everyone this is my first post and I only just signed up so I don’t really know what to do. I’m a girl (she/her) btw. I struggle with anxiety, ocd etc. In 2019 I met this guy I really liked we’ll call him J and he was in the grade above me but we ... View more

Hi everyone this is my first post and I only just signed up so I don’t really know what to do. I’m a girl (she/her) btw. I struggle with anxiety, ocd etc. In 2019 I met this guy I really liked we’ll call him J and he was in the grade above me but we where in the same classes. In 2020 I saw him but never really spoke to him anymore and I still liked him. In 2021 I didn’t see him at all as he was at another school and I had no contact with him. This year I’ve been seeing him daily at school and I emailed him pretty early in the year and I got his number and we where talking as friends. Than he randomly stopped messaging back and we haven’t texted in months. There was only one person who knew about him (my best friend) and she informed me that he just randomly added her on Snapchat (I don’t have any social media btw) so she was trying to make me jealous and making fun of me. I thought this sounded weird as he didn’t even know her and the truth is she emailed him asking for his Snapchat. I feel very mad at her and I feel betrayed I just feel like I can’t trust anyone anymore. I also really wished I had guy friends and I thought J was going to be friends with me and I don’t know what to do about anything. Sorry if this doesn’t make sense, I’ve probably missed some information but thanks for reading.

LifePF Trust Break
  • replies: 2

Hi Guys,I am completely broken and feel to cry all the times. I am really depressed and feel no one is here for me. I love my husband from core of my heart and we are married from last 14 years...we have lots of ups and downs but I always tried to be... View more

Hi Guys,I am completely broken and feel to cry all the times. I am really depressed and feel no one is here for me. I love my husband from core of my heart and we are married from last 14 years...we have lots of ups and downs but I always tried to be there for him and accepted him, thinking one day he will fall in love with me but it never happened. For him, his family is his first priority and he can even beat me if I raise any concerns. He support them by all means...transfer alot of money to his brother and never tell me. If I ask him anything he hides and denied like he never did anything for them. He does send money to his mum...which I believe is OK as she is his mom but still he never mentioned me any thing. Even some time he has to, he will tell me when already he sent some gifts but that too very occasionally. I feel bad as he behaves like I am not part of his family ...and he keeps on manipulating things and argue will me if I ask him anything Sometimes I think I maybe wrong if he is not telling me anything but I really feel bad if he has done something but lies to me ... Please please please...I beg ...need advise if I am overthinking ...I am getting broken and feel to cry as I love him unconditionally and he don't feel to share his things with me...I am really hurt with all these and now can't control my self...feel like I am a useless person in his life...

trying_to_improve Anxiety and relationship ending
  • replies: 9

Hi, this is my first time posting. I (24,F) have struggled with anxiety and depression (unknowingly) for most of my adolescents and adulthood. I had been struggling for the last 3 months with anxiety, but not realising how bad it was impacting me. I ... View more

Hi, this is my first time posting. I (24,F) have struggled with anxiety and depression (unknowingly) for most of my adolescents and adulthood. I had been struggling for the last 3 months with anxiety, but not realising how bad it was impacting me. I have lost focus with my work, I attributed a lot of this to work demands and deadlines, but now that those deadlines have past and my work has taken the pressure off me. I have seen that I'm still struggling, I have been having panic attacks etc.. About 1.5 months ago, I got black-out drunk with friends (I think I drank excessively so I wasn't feeling anxious around people). That night, I was verbally abusive to my partner, saying horrible things about him and also saying how he doesn't love me, or could never love me because I'm such a horrible person. I have seen a psychologist, and learnt that I have a core belief that I'm unlovable. But, to add to this core belief - my long-term partner of 5.5yrs has broken up with me. He said after the hurtful things I had said that drunken night, he just couldn't be with me anymore. He said that I need to be by myself to get better, and that I need to deal with my anxiety myself. He said he couldn't emotionally support me anymore, he said that my constant questioning of his love has strained him. He felt like no matter what he did to show me he loved me, it wasn't good enough for me to feel loved. He also said he needs space to sort out his own issues (he suffers from anxiety as well).I feel horrible about this because in the past he had shown compassion, empathy and love when I was struggling. I tried to tell him that it wouldn't always be like this, and that once I went through therapy things would improve. He expressed that he didn't want to 'burn bridges', and that he wanted to remain friends and maybe in the future we could see where we're at. I don't understand why he would say that, if you wanted to end things, wouldn't you want to remove that person completely from your life?I constantly spiral thinking that this wouldn't be happening if I hadn't of gotten drunk that night and said mean things to him (which I don't remember what I said). I have very few friends or family that understand, everyone else has their own issues, and I'm burdening everyone. I want to get the love and support from my ex-partner, but I know if I do that it isn't respecting the time/space he asked for.How can I love myself again?

lilaclovee Careless night with consideration to abort
  • replies: 5

We decided a near five years ago to get ahead and pursue studies / apprenticeship to get ahead. We had well jobs but wanted more and knew we needed more in terms of getting ahead. In the midst, we found ourselves pregnant. A surprise and unplanned pr... View more

We decided a near five years ago to get ahead and pursue studies / apprenticeship to get ahead. We had well jobs but wanted more and knew we needed more in terms of getting ahead. In the midst, we found ourselves pregnant. A surprise and unplanned pregnancy but we welcomed it whole heartedly and it still brings tears to my eyes because I feel so blessed to have my now healthy, near 3 year old son. Was it a struggle, absolutely! No one plans to become a mature age student and then start a family. It’s been a tough three years, with covid, one income, cost of living, increasingly inflations, petrol prices etc we’ve only managed to just get on by, with little left over and been unable to save but we’ve done well to never miss a bill and always been able to pay out mortgage. Next year was our year to get ahead! At last! Finally get a new car, I drive the same car I purchased when I was 22 and it’s a Golf, a good car but far from a family car. I am a student nurse and during these years of studies I’ve also been working casually but out of work when I’m on clinical placement, which is a huge stressor, full time hospital hours which means no pay (we don’t get paid) and in a negative because it essentially costs me to be there, loss of income due to ceasing casual work, petrol, parking, food and casual day care costs. We we’re at the end of the marathon and what happens, I’m pregnant!!! This was not in our plans at all and it feels different, I don’t welcome this surprise as I did with my first and that alone brings a lot of sadness and regret to my heart. For most young families, times are incredibly tough and strained, is it a smart or a heartless decision to propose the idea of an abortion due to finance and career ? We can’t even afford to buy a family car until I’m working again, as we evidently need two incomes, our couch is haggard, fitted sheets are torn and we are strained. My partner supports my decision regardless but I know he is feeling the strain of carrying us for a near three years and I don’t blame him, it’s been very tough. I’m at a loss and feel sadness, is it okay to think these things that money and somewhat career is a factor. I just want the best for my family and mentally, I don’t think I will cope, I never planned to be a SAHM too and I feel inferior

FiveSeasons Decision making around termination / abortion in a stable relationship
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone, I am ten weeks pregnant with a completely unplanned fourth baby and we are struggling immensely to make a decision whether to proceed or terminate. We thought our family was complete, especially from my husband’s perspective (# 3 was alr... View more

Hi everyone, I am ten weeks pregnant with a completely unplanned fourth baby and we are struggling immensely to make a decision whether to proceed or terminate. We thought our family was complete, especially from my husband’s perspective (# 3 was already my desperately wanted “extra” baby). Our marriage is solid, but we have little to no support in Australia and we both feel stretched thinly as it is (financially, emotionally, physically and in terms of time and energy). Our youngest is 2, and we were just beginning to see some light at the end of the tunnel and as though we might have actually survived the choppy seas of early parenting. This news has thrown us completely off course and we’re still at a loss as to what decision is best for our family after knowing for 5 weeks. We fear another baby could be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. It would obliterate any chance of getting my career back on track after so much time off / part time, I don’t cope that well with the stress, chaos and frantic pace of our life as it is, and although he is a doting father now he found it increasingly hard with each baby to be present and engaged in the newborn period. We each have gone through periods of depression and anxiety to varying degrees over the past seven years. BUT we love our kids to the ends of the earth and know we would love another. The stress of the decision is crushing me. I go back and forth on an almost hourly cycle, it’s impacting my work and ability to function as a Mum. Hubby says he will support whichever decision I make, but we’re both concerned that both choices have the potential to make or break our little family. Having the baby would set us back in our life plans, and feels like we’d be starting this crazy overwhelming phase of life again, but I’m not sure if I would cope long term with the guilt and doubt of terminating. How do we make this impossible choice? We are running out of time and I can’t continue functioning this way. I guess I’m hoping for some personal experiences of how people worked through an impossible emotional decision and came out the other side with some clarity and confidence in their choice, if that’s even possible?!

Kim3 Setting Boundaires with Teen-Result may mean they have to move out of home.
  • replies: 5

Hi, I have been on a 4 year journey with my now 17 year old. We have been through alot including, leaving school, supporting him and his pregnant girlfriend and then young baby (not my son's baby), drug use, mental health issues, him moving out of ho... View more

Hi, I have been on a 4 year journey with my now 17 year old. We have been through alot including, leaving school, supporting him and his pregnant girlfriend and then young baby (not my son's baby), drug use, mental health issues, him moving out of home to another town. Without getting into it all but that is a quick overview. Currently, my son is staying with me and my 2 other children aged 7 and 9. My 17 year old is currently not working, studying and doesn't do much with his time. I am struggling with this as I have boundaries around drugs and behaviour which I have spoken to him about. He has started vaping and yesterday sat in my car vaping while I was at an activity with my other children. I was quite upset as he know how I feel about this, he didn't seem to care about my boundaries and we were all about to get in the car. I appreciaite that this may not seem like a big deal but I have alarm bells going off everywhere due to previous experiences! I feel like I want to say to hime-Work or study or you can't live with me. This may mean he goes and couch surfs..I am a single mum and have previously felt unsafe around my 17 year when he gets upset and don't want to be in this situation again.. How do you put boundaries in place if that means you feel liek you are puching your child away? Hope that makes sense and thank you for your reply.

Rose.8 Relationship with my mum is bad
  • replies: 3

My mum and I have a very up and down relationship, sometimes she’s amazing and we get along and then other times we’re screaming at eachother and I feel like I hate her. She works from home and it’s so frustrating trying to tiptoe around her, she wor... View more

My mum and I have a very up and down relationship, sometimes she’s amazing and we get along and then other times we’re screaming at eachother and I feel like I hate her. She works from home and it’s so frustrating trying to tiptoe around her, she works on the dining table and for literally 3 years I’ve been telling her to put a desk in her room because she screams and tells people to shut up whenever they try use the kitchen or lounge room. It’s so annoying. She always makes excuses though like her rooms too messy which it is, absolutely disgusting clothes piled up that if I threw out she probably wouldn’t even realise or miss, she always has food packets everywhere, spilt drinks on the table and never cleaned, she’s literally as bad as a kid if not worse…… my dad only makes his side of the bed and his side of the room is clean. He is also sick of it. My mum has been really annoying me. It’s gotten to the point where everything my mum does, makes and cringe, makes me angry and annoyed. She could sneeze and it would make me angry……. I don’t know why I feel this way. The other day I was making myself dinner and she walked passed and burped and I got angry and was like wtf can you not, and she instantly just said “f off, if you think I’m disgusting move out”. This is her go to. Today I asked her to move her car from behind mine because she parked diagonally on the drive way and I asked her not to park like that and again she told me to “f off move out if you don’t like the way I do things”. I can’t communicate anything to her without her saying “I’m such a bad mum aren’t I” “that’s just the way I am deal with it”. I am confused. I’m not saying she’s a horrible mum, she literally does everything for me, gives me money, picks me up after nights out, respects my privacy ect. So I feel like I’m overreacting when these situations happen. once we were in public and she screamed at me and everyone looked. I was super embarrassed and I spoke to her the day after and I told her I didn’t like the way she spoke to me, I tried so hard to calmly communicate with her and she told me that she didn’t remember and why should she be sorry for something she can’t remember or apparently to her didn’t even happen………. she’s a good mum, but she also brings out the biggest rage and anger inside of me. I am confused about our relationship.

Madee I’m wondering if i have been involved in “parental alienation”.
  • replies: 3

How do you know? what are the signs? can I talk to someone? I am not sure what to do. i am better talking, since my ex husband hit me I’ve suffered from seizures and There are other things he did, I protected the kids and I feel as though I failed. w... View more

How do you know? what are the signs? can I talk to someone? I am not sure what to do. i am better talking, since my ex husband hit me I’ve suffered from seizures and There are other things he did, I protected the kids and I feel as though I failed. what advice can you give me?

PositivePolly Serial Cheater
  • replies: 5

Hi, After some my best friend & support during challenging time together, my dad passing, 2 bouts of cancer (One of which left me infertile) and 2 very intense surrogacy journeys. We've been through so much, and worked hard to create the life we have... View more

Hi, After some my best friend & support during challenging time together, my dad passing, 2 bouts of cancer (One of which left me infertile) and 2 very intense surrogacy journeys. We've been through so much, and worked hard to create the life we have. It makes me so sad to think that that is very possibly all over. He is a serial cheater (with the same lady), a serial liar and has significant anger issues (towards himself not the family) and mental health issues (that have been untreated). When our first daughter was newborn (2016) I caught him sexting someone else. We worked through it, went counselling. Then just before our 2nd child was born, caught again, he denied it until he could deny no more - evidence was clear. Same lady. He admitted they were having a full affair (2019). Devastating. We went through couples counselling. I was determined to do all I could to keep our family unit together. A few weeks ago found a text from this same lady. Again he denied - until there was too much evidence to deny. He admits to 6 months of phone sex. His adamant nothing physical, either way it's an affair. Our kids adore their dad-friend's think he is the nicest- he does a lot for our family and I'm not sure how I could have survived without him. He is not coping with the consequences of finding out about affair. When confronted about the affair he got very aggressive (towards himself), he has been self harming (scratching) - he grabbed a knife at one stage (nothing ever directed towards me or the kids). He repeatedly tells me that all he wants is to be with me and the kids, he loves us. he wants nothing to do with the other lady (I've heard all this before). Though he says if his not with me he doesn't want to live. I ask him what did he think was going to happen? He says he was only thinking about himself, his very remorseful. I ask him why - he says its because his sexual drive is so high. He has promised me over and over that he will do all he can to change=taking meds, seeing a psychiatrist etc. He has addiction issues - previously drugs, alcohol - his sober now. My head is spinning, I'm confused & can't talk to anyone(aside from mum) due to judgement. His parents know - apparently his dad did something similar(I keep being told 'it's genetics'). I just want to do the right thing for my family, he genuinely was my best friend. We are due to see a couples counsellor this week