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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Supportrequired Miscarriage and Ex doesn't believe me
  • replies: 1

Hi All, thank you for the support.I'm needing to get this off my chest.Was dating a man for 3 months. It ended last Friday after it got physical. Things had been a bit rocky as he an alcoholic and when I drink too, he can say some very insensitive th... View more

Hi All, thank you for the support.I'm needing to get this off my chest.Was dating a man for 3 months. It ended last Friday after it got physical. Things had been a bit rocky as he an alcoholic and when I drink too, he can say some very insensitive things that results in arguments between us. But I still love him and he says he still loves me and if I disappear he'll stop loving me. I wanted to work on the relationship issues, because when he is sober he is a beautiful individual. Well it's gotten worse, I didn't know I was pregnant. Turns out I wasn't covered for over a month following a UTI. I was 2 months pregnant and I miscarriaged. I told him and he doesn't believe me. Said I lied to him as I was still on the pill but can random bouts of breakthrough bleeding. I suffer from endometorisis and I highly doubted I'd ever fall pregnant.So I'm mourning the loss of a love and struggling to come with the terms that I had a miscarriage. He won't answer my calls. I live in a small town and I went out with friends to try to get my mind off it. He turned up and flat out ignored me. It upset me so much. I confronted him and he said I lied in front of a lot of people. I threw a plastic cup at him and he said it's all documented now. I've blocked him on social media as I can't handle anymore heartache. I just wish we could have a peaceful conversation about this so I have some form of support. I have no family here to lean on.

anon23 Looking for advice.
  • replies: 1

I have been with my partner for nearly 4 years and have been struggling more and more each day. When we first started dating I use to snoop his phone and see him messaging other girls “missing their body”, etc. when I would mention it he would deny i... View more

I have been with my partner for nearly 4 years and have been struggling more and more each day. When we first started dating I use to snoop his phone and see him messaging other girls “missing their body”, etc. when I would mention it he would deny it and cry and say it was a mistake on his phone. I’d let it go. This has repeatedly happened and each time he has denied it. I have seen him love other girls photos, request pages on instagram of half naked girls, liking their content. It made me uncomfortable and I asked him to stop and he said he would. I would still se he had been doing it. One day I got super bad anxiety he was doing more things behind my back when I found a secret email linked to his normal email account and mobile phone. He had joined onlyfans, pornhub, and had a Snapchat account I was not aware of. I broke down I confronted him and he denied it all. I logged into the Snapchat account using the number of that was linked showing him it was linked to his mobile… where multiple girls names popped up. I looked at the blocked list with all his family members had been blocked. He denied it was his. I showed him the onlyfans. He denied it, as he did to the pornhub account. I sadly felt worthless and disgusting. I then found myself being unable to eat and went to the gym multiple times where I had lost 15kilos. I spoke to him multiple times regarding how it made me feel, he would cry and deny it and I would comfort him, we would make up thinking it would all stop. Weeks past and I would see once again porn in his history or following cheerleading pages on FB for everyone to see. He says he has a low sex drive and is always tired but then I see all this behind my back… Last week I discovered more porn behind my back and confronted him where he denied it again. I feel so lost and confused of what to do. He is a nice guy to me and my family. And I do feel a lot for him but I can’t seem to move past this. I am really struggling mentally with this. I feel depressed like I want to sleep all the time my grades at uni have lowered and I feel worthless. I am scared to leave because of the house, we have animals, etc. At the moment I am living with my sister as I told him I need space for a while. I would love any advice I am really struggling. Thank you.

SmashingPumpkings69 How do I support my adult children
  • replies: 1

What can I do when my son of 27 years old that has recently been diagnosed with ADHD does not answer my text and phone calls . He left home (not my home but my ex-wifes home ) about 1 and halve years ago. He recently asked me if he could move into my... View more

What can I do when my son of 27 years old that has recently been diagnosed with ADHD does not answer my text and phone calls . He left home (not my home but my ex-wifes home ) about 1 and halve years ago. He recently asked me if he could move into my home when he lease runs out . I said he could and invited him to come around for barbecue . He cancelled on me three times and this time said he did not feel like coming around becuase of his sleep patterns in a text (that is all he said) . He has not been in contact with my ex wife for two weeks as well . I worry about him as he quit his job about 2 months ago.

iamjustlostandneedhelp TW: Rape and my relationship
  • replies: 4

Ok so I (F21) was raped 2 years before I met my current partner (M22), we have now been together for 2.5 years. At the start of our relationship I really struggled to deal with it but he helped me and now its not something that I think about or worri... View more

Ok so I (F21) was raped 2 years before I met my current partner (M22), we have now been together for 2.5 years. At the start of our relationship I really struggled to deal with it but he helped me and now its not something that I think about or worries me on a day to day basis. I just recent found porn saved onto his phone and when I confronted him about it he said its because he cant get hard when he looks at me because he thinks of me being raped. He says he doesnt want to make me do anything that I dont want to do and he doesn't want to hurt me, which is wonderful and I am thankful for that but I have told him that Im ok and and he has never hurt me, if I didnt want something I would say so. He just cant seem to get over it though. I dont know how to go about this, how do I help him heal from the trauma. It sorta doesnt make sense to me, he wasnt there, I didnt even know him at the time and like theres nothing he could do. He helped me through it all so hes done literally everything in his power to make me comfortable but I just cant seem to do it with him. He says he has really been struggling mentally recently and I brought up the importance of talking about whats going on and not hiding things and he says he knows its just too hard. Does anyone have any recommendations on what to do about this situation

Guest_1584 living alone
  • replies: 741

Wondering do you live alone if you don't mind me asking , and how long for , how do you find it ? No need for any details if your not comfortable or anything like that, not prying just wondering about it all. l've been living alone on off mostly 5yrs... View more

Wondering do you live alone if you don't mind me asking , and how long for , how do you find it ? No need for any details if your not comfortable or anything like that, not prying just wondering about it all. l've been living alone on off mostly 5yrs now since splitting with ex w. My daughter use to stay a lot but not much these days, 16, bf and friends over in her town, 20mins away . Also had a friend staying over a lot for awhile or me her place, separate rooms just friends. Then met my gf, together nearly two but 70% long distance,talking 24 7 non the mess but still mostly living alone. That ahsn't worked out and, still living alone. It's the first time really since late teens and what a time of life for it to come along. l'm just wondering? l'm afraid l just can't get use to it or like it . Although times it's good also , like coming home tired, kick back for the night do your thing, watch what you want or sleep all day or listen to whatever you please as loud as you want day or night, no one else to worry about or please. It can be nice when the wk end rolls round too in ways , same reasons. But , l still have a lot of trouble with it , don't think l'll ever get use to it. Even though there were plenty of times married would've given anything for this kinda freedom sometimes. This house is pretty big , to me too big for one, one and a bit if my d stays. Not really into friends hangin round too often , assuming l had a few anyways, new town. But l think a smaller house would help , dunno how some people especially rich people live in monster mansions alone. l've even thought of sharing , got a spare room, it'd help the finances too. But tbh , getting a bit past that with a stranger and it'd cramp my style a bit and spoil the things l do like about this new life alone right now and having all this space to myself. But over all , l'm really feeling the loneliness. Just don't know what to do about it though, how to deal with it . l feel like l'll get sorta lost in my own non existent world if l'm not careful. l do get out and about quite a bit actually but it's usually alone too. l've always enjoyed alone time even as a kid but l seem to have lost that these days and l find it's really taking it's toll on spirits and like life is passing by.

snakes_ladders Can’t make friends
  • replies: 8

Ok, I think anyone who meets me thinks I’m a very lucky person. Indeed I’m grateful for a lot I’ve accomplished. I have a well payed job (not making millions but enough for my family), a wife and great kids. We leave comfortably in a decent house. Ho... View more

Ok, I think anyone who meets me thinks I’m a very lucky person. Indeed I’m grateful for a lot I’ve accomplished. I have a well payed job (not making millions but enough for my family), a wife and great kids. We leave comfortably in a decent house. However one thing has always tormented me since I was little. Despite my best efforts to always be nice and respectful, people tend to not like me. Mostly other men. Many are polite with me and receive me well, but always in a group there are a few who don’t seem like me at all.In some groups, a few doesn’t even bother to look at me and say hi. But in most groups, whilst we can engage in good conversations during say a party, nothing really develops after and effective becomes more an acquaintance rather than friends. Feeling I have is that wether I’m there or not it is indifferent. When I try to be more present and speak up to be more of a presence in parties, my voice seems to fade away as people seem to hear but not listen. This is killing me as I struggle to be part of any group. I play sports and can’t bind with the team, resulting in slowly stop to being part of the team. At work, I don’t make the strong bonds between peers. I can’t make friends with the parents of my kids friends, and miss opportunities to create a nice group of friends for them as well. Any suggestions or words would be much appreciated. Thanks and apologies the long text.

icecreamspider Angry at my family over a dog :(
  • replies: 3

Hi, i’m not sure which topic this goes under but i need help. backstory: I’ve never been fully comfortable around dogs. I was terrified of them as a kid and i don’t feel like i can really relax around them now. My family, knowing this, have decided t... View more

Hi, i’m not sure which topic this goes under but i need help. backstory: I’ve never been fully comfortable around dogs. I was terrified of them as a kid and i don’t feel like i can really relax around them now. My family, knowing this, have decided to get a dog. I’m scared of not being able to relax in my own home, but my family don’t really seem to care all that much. I know my dad does, he says if it were up to him he wouldn’t get the dog, apparently he turns around and tells everyone else how excited he is, which makes me feel a bit betrayed that he’s lying to me. My mum says she cares. My brother insulted me, i said i felt like i deserved compensation for getting it, all i asked was that they choose a name i’d actually like, my brother called me petty and spiteful for that.big problem :This has happened within the last week, and over this week i’ve been feeling angrier and angrier at my family. It sounds entitled. It probably is. But this is genuinely affecting my mental health. I feel so angry when i see dogs or things relating to dogs and i feel so angry at my family, especially my brother for it. This sounds really childish, i’m sure. But i’m so angry i don’t know what to do. I honestly don’t think i could stand having to live with a dog, I don’t want to be angry at some innocent dog. when my parents said they’d get the dog that first night my mum said she thought the dog would be good for everyone and i asked her “is it really all that good if it’s actively making me feel worse” she said “i guess not” and hasn’t seemed to have thought about it since. i was already doing bad mentally when my parents sprung this on me, and i was getting a bit better but now i’m getting worse. I don’t know how many times i’ve said this but i don’t know what to do. I’m so angry at my family, especially my brother that i want to break things. I want to throw things and trash something, i don’t know how to deal with this anger. I’ve never felt like this.

Meg1977 Bad mother
  • replies: 1

I feel like a horrible mother. When I grew up my mother was never emotionally invested in me so when I had children I promised myself to love them unconditionally and do whateva to make them feel good about themselves. I maybe did the last part too m... View more

I feel like a horrible mother. When I grew up my mother was never emotionally invested in me so when I had children I promised myself to love them unconditionally and do whateva to make them feel good about themselves. I maybe did the last part too much because I would always and still do try to fix everything for them from friendship issues to backing them in arguments with their father. My children are 18 and 16 and at times struggle with mental health as I do and I believe I have made these alot worse for them. The three of us are always doom and gloom when upset and go to extremes of depression. A current example is my eldest is struggling to get his license and gets soo down on himself and then I get guilt because I didnt raise my kids right by giving them strategies and coping skills when things dont go right and I struggle cos I cant fix this. I keep telling him to stop crying and itll all be ok but I am in soo much pain watching him suffer. My husband his father just tells us both to suck it up and keep going but I wanna hide and run away.

Mysterious987 Want some feedback please
  • replies: 3

My father in my eyes is a grandiose narcissist, He is highly selfish, He is socially over powering, If something doesn't directly affect him then he doesn't want to know about the problem and it's up to us to solve it. His got misogyn and sexism aspe... View more

My father in my eyes is a grandiose narcissist, He is highly selfish, He is socially over powering, If something doesn't directly affect him then he doesn't want to know about the problem and it's up to us to solve it. His got misogyn and sexism aspects and many years ago in the older generations he committed violent assaults on homosexual men. He once told me I'm disabled when I'm a regular person, He can lower your intelligence and you develop this under confident mute social psychological effects where you lose confidence with communication or hearing yourself speak, and that also is affected by high school bullying I experienced ten years ago from a malignant narcissistic friend . He treats my mother as a stupid un employed useless house maid, He doesn't respect her and he bullies her. He sais my Centrelink pension is a allowance when it's not even given by a immediate family member. He treats anything under appearance wither your fashion or weight or wanting to have a appealing house as you being superficial & vain

teaBee Feeling lonely
  • replies: 2

I have a best friend. Well I used to. I’ve put so much energy and tried to reach out so many times. But she never has time for me. Then I see her post 100 pic of her out with so many other friends. But never me. Why do the people I love never make an... View more

I have a best friend. Well I used to. I’ve put so much energy and tried to reach out so many times. But she never has time for me. Then I see her post 100 pic of her out with so many other friends. But never me. Why do the people I love never make any time for me. When we hang out it’s fun and the best because we are so alike. Afterwards she always tells me how much she missed me and how fun it was and we should hang out more. But every time I ask I am forgotten and left out. I’ve even brought this up with her and she apologised and said she’d change. But nothing changed. What should I do here I feel so alone

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