Horrible “situationship”

[Guest_51504063]

I met this guy in 2024 when I was 19, since then the way he treats me directly impacts my mental health. We never even dated however we’ve slept together a few times and after the third time in February this year I asked to see him again and he ghosted me, this has since sent me into a massive depressive episode where I’m spending everyday obsessing over him and hoping he’ll come back even though he’s never treated me right. I feel like I’ll never be able to get over him and am constantly comparing myself to girls he’s friends with. I have no idea if I’ll ever be able to get over him, I feel like the happiest I’d ever been was when he was constantly responding to me and wanted to see me but now that it’s over I feel constantly sad. I hope that one day I can move on and not feel this way about him but I’m so scared that I never will.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Guest,

A warm welcome to the forums….

This person you’re talking about is not good to you, he doesn’t treat you right, he doesn’t value or respect you sweet girl….you deserve someone that will love you unconditionally as well as respect you and care for you…..That boy obviously doesn’t….

It’s hard right now for you to get over him…but time will sort that out….you maybe don’t think that right now, but it usually does…

Guest, go out with your friends and enjoy your life…please don’t let someone whom you’ve only met a few times, who didn’t treat you right, who impacted negatively on your mental health destroy your happiness….and who ghosted you….You deserve so much better then him….

My kindest thoughts Dear Guest, and a gentle caring hug 🤗..

Grandy…

[Alikiwi]

Hi Guest,

I can only agree with Ggrand and would gently point out that when this guy was paying attention, it was only to get what he wanted when he wanted. I'm a male and I've never treated anyone like that, and as said, you deserve far better. Breakups, if you can even call it that, are always hard, but honestly, you deserve better, and there are far nicer people out there. Time will heal this, so give yourself a chance.

[therising]

The warmest of welcomes to you and my heart goes out to you regarding this guy who sounds so heartbreaking.

I'm going back a fair way (as a 55yo gal) when I say I can remember a relationship with the absolute love of my life, or so I thought, somewhere around the age of 20. Actually, I had a few relationships that followed this particular pattern when I was younger. I was always on a high when I was with this guy and in an incredible low when he rejected me at times. In hindsight, he was self serving, only interested in making himself happy and didn't have a compassionate bone in his body. Never in a million years would he have considered raising other people; he just didn't want to be brought down or inconvenienced. When I was with him, it was like getting a 'fix', like an addict who constantly longed for a high from something toxic. He fed my self worth when I wasn't being led to experience a sense of worthlessness.

Alikiwi's nature provides proof that there are thoughtful guys out there who will lead you to feel positive highs, as opposed to highs from 'fixes' (where you take whatever doses are handed to you on someone else's terms). Logically you won't feel highs all the time in a positive and constructive relationship but at least you won't be feeling the lows that can come with a sense of worthlessness in a toxic relationship. ❤️