High Functioning Depression

H_NG · ‎09-07-2026

I think I have high-functioning depression. I just went through a break-up and have a medical condition that I'm scared about.

I go to work and then go home. Work is the only thing I can do to distract myself from all of these feelings. I had a boyfriend of 5 years. We were on and off. I found out recently that he has a gambling addiction and had borrowed money from the bank and lost it all.

I just bought a house last year by myself, so I tried as hard as I could to pay for it. Working all the time. I think I bought the wrong house and the wrong time, there are so many things I don't like about it. I know home ownership is a privilege and I shouldn't complain about it. But I think I have buyer's remorse. But I can't do anything now. I work really hard. Sometimes 60-70 hours a week. 7 days a week with weekends and on call. Sometimes 15 hours a day.

I also found out recently that I have an ovarian tumour that they are not sure if it is benign or malignant. They may or may not need surgery. We are monitoring it at the moment.

I live in Australia by myself, so no family and very few friends. My ex was my family for 5 years. Except for the gambling addiction, he always cares for and loves me. He has done a lot for me, but I’m also scared to live with someone with an addiction.

I have been through a lot, so I know these feelings will pass, but I feel like I need some help at the moment.

Croix · ‎09-07-2026

Dear H_NG~

Welcome here to the Forum, a place where may peple have gone thogh hard times and want to help others. Life has certainly been unkind to you, wiht a tumor, not knowing if it is benign or not. Having had an ex who cared but gambled everything away, working more time than is good for you trying to maintain purchase of a house - and now being unsure if buying it was a good move.

I know when I've had multiple serious problems they all seem to lump together and leave me feeling helpless to do anything. Can I suggest breaking things down to individual problems and seeing what you can do?

Wiht hte tumor is it going to take long to find if it is benign, or if surgery is going to be required. Until you know the answer it will be hard to decide anything. When you do know then options may be more clear.

With the house, and working so many hours, a lot depends upon you having the option to sell and pay rent somewhere. Again it is the specifics, as you have only recently bought it would you come out of the sale still owing money? Maybe you can disregard the actual shortcomings of the house , your ability to keep on paying at this rate may be questionable, even if it also acts as a distraction. Maybe also the house might become a source of income.

Advice from disinterested experts, such as Anglicare Financial Services if they are in your state, can show you your best options.

With your ex, you sound as if you were thinking of getting together again (forgive me if I misunderstood). While he may be attentive I'm sure you are thinking of everything that can go wrong being with a person addicted to gambling. Maybe that is the only reason you do not want to get together again? May I suggest you get experienced advice on livng with someone with this habit? The government website Is a good place to start and points to a number of resources including a helpline. Advice will put you in a better position to know what is realistic.

https://www.dss.gov.au/gambling/gambling-support-services

Being scared of having a mental health condition is something you may be able to take action on straight away. Go see a GP in an extended consultation and set out all your feelings and what your circumstances are. If oyu do have a condition such as depression that can be treated, it may take long term treatment, such as I have, but it makes a huge difference if you get the right one.

I'm afraid I'm not solving probelms, just setting them out in case that makes thinking of your options clearer. You are a person of great determination, and have a realistic view of matters, these are great starting points.

If you would like to keep on talking here that would be great

Croix

Louise__ · ‎10-07-2026

Hi! You’re not alone with this. Relationship breakdowns can be so painful and completely throw you off track. I’m struggling myself at the moment and find that these forums are helpful just to offload what you’re thinking and feeling.

feeling alone and scared and like you’re solely responsible for everything can be super overwhelming and suffocating.

im sorry about your health issues and hope they come back benign and don’t cause you any further issues.

with the house, if you truly are unhappy then you could look at getting a bridging loan from the bank, and looking to buy elsewhere. And if you find somewhere you like, you could put a subject to sale clause in the contract which means that you won’t have to finalise the purchase until your property is sold.

there are always ways to get out of difficult situations, just keep pushing through

H_NG · ‎10-07-2026

Hi Croix,

Thank you for spreading things out, so I can see each problem clearly. I hope you know how powerful your words are. I will look into some of the things you suggested.

Regarding my ex, I still love him, but I’m also scared about what can come in the future with his addiction. I also feel sorry for him, but I don't know what to do. We had a good time together, but I just can't see a future together. I feel like we will just hurt each other more and more if we get back together. I keep thinking maybe it’s my fault, if I had done this and that, maybe things would be different.

Once again, thank you for listening to a stranger. I wish you all the best 🌟

H_NG · ‎10-07-2026

Hi Louise,

I’m so sorry to hear that you are going through a relationship breakdown too. This is not the first time I have had a relationship breakdown, so I believe that time will heal everything. But as you said, it’s just so lonely and scary.

Suffocating is the right word to describe it. I try to think about my family, who love me unconditionally. One day when we look back, this problem will be nothing. I always think of hardship as the way life throw as me, so I can grow. I wish you strength and courage to go through whatever you are going through.

Croix · ‎11-07-2026

Dear H_NG~

Thanks for coming back. It is only natural after a relationship that was there for most of the time over five years should leave you with the 'what ifs' where a person conjures up all sorts of missed opportunities and worries about their actions. It can be very hard to step outside and see that it was not all (or even half) down to you. That can take someone else to tell you.

You are right to be fearful of getting back together, and I don't know if that will result in a missed opportunity for the comfort of togetherness or if it is the right thing to keep away.

I do know fear can keep building up if one does not have a clear understanding of the problems one might face, which is why I suggest you find out the actual problems being with someone addicted to gambling, and any steps you might take to prepare and deal with them. It may be a lost cause.

Please don't think I'm trying to persuade you either way, you are in a hard position.

Croix