Hi

[MYM]

I don’t know what to do. I feel so meaningless and don’t belong to anywhere. I come from a family, we are not very close and warm, have ok-good relationship, they all live very far. And I have my own family, husband and cute kids. Husband is a nice person on his own, he is polite, kind and always willing to help others. But he’s totally different person towards me, rarely treat me kind and not passionate at all. He thinks me like a disgusting person to touch or look. When my children were babies, I was their world. But now they think only their father is their parent and I’m just a nanny/maid/house helper. Husband blame me for the change because, he said, I don’t play with them!! He blames me for every single thing and I’m never good enough. Feel like children copy from dad and they treat me like an extra person. Being left out in every possible way...

[Nurse_Jenn]

Hi MYM,

Welcome to the forum. It's good to see you reaching out here for some support. I am sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time with the relationship with your family. This is really tough when you are feeling stuck and are not sure exactly how to approach the situation. I can offer a few suggestions and I also hope that you will find some comfort on the forum as you are not alone.

Relationships are tricky and I will pose a few questions to you. Have you ever been able to sit down with your husband and talk to him about how you are feeling? If this is not possible, that's okay. I wonder if you have accessed any support for yourself going through this difficult time. Sometimes being able to talk with someone like a counsellor or health care provider can make all the difference. If you don't know where to start I would suggest your GP (Doctor) in the first instance. They discuss with you how you are feeling and you can ask for resources that are available in your area like a support group or counsellor.

I also wonder if you have any friends or family members who you can talk to? Sometimes having a person you trust to vent your frustrations can really help. If you don't, you could always try ringing the beyondblue support line on 1300 22 4636.

There are some websites and pages that offer some information and advise about relationships. I have posted these for you to have a look at if you are interested.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/personal-best/Topics?q=Relationships

https://www.relationships.org.au/relationship-advice

Whatever you decide, there is support and help out there for you but you will need to reach. You will find a lot of topics on the forum about relationships and may be able to access some support through the forum. You are not alone. If you are ever feeling threatened or unsafe, don't hesitate to ring 1800 RESPECT or visit the webpage on https://www.1800respect.org.au where you can find some information and support.

Wishing you the best possible outcome,

Nurse Jenn

[smallwolf]

Hi MYM,

welcome to beyond blue.

I am so sorry that you feel you are somewhat excluded from your own family. Is there anyone that you can talk to about how you feeling or what is happening? Even if that person is your own husband? Or would that not work out very well?

I suspect from your post that you actually do quite a bit for your family if you are the "nanny", "maid" and "housekeeper", and when it seems you have to tend to their every need or want?

I hope that your husband does not tell you that you are not good enough. If you are doing everything for the kids, you are certainly worthy of respect and love.

I don't know how old your children are... could you perhaps put on your "nanny" role and tell your kids about the effect their actions are having on you? educating children can be part of that role.

sorry if my post is all over the place, but I am listening to you. maybe you could tell a little more of your story. sometimes chatting about it here can help, or perhaps speaking with a counsellor? I hope you can find a way forward with your family.

Tim

[Lonelydan]

Hi, Mym, welcome to the forums. Coming from a family that wasn’t the Brady bunch. It’s easy to Replicate. Are you like your mother. Was this her story also. I’m just putting it out there. Are you being taken for granted , have you allowed this. I’m sure your children love there mum. How was your husbands childhood similar to yours Or totally different. Dan ...