Hi in new here

[JJ281984]

Hi I'm new here.

I was in a 12 year long-term relationship with my ex I also have a child with him I have another child to a previous relationship. My ex use to manipulative control me emotionally n mentally .we split when my youngest was 3 I was stupid to go back and split for good in june 2020 , me n kids moved in our own place and loved living alone. my dog of 17 years passed and broke me hard . Met my current partner in 2021 my current situation is I find it hard to live with my partner my head feels like ii cant breathe when im around people all the time if too much going on I will outburst I have awful episodes my body shuts down no head cant breathe head hurts so much has alot of pressure I just lay there for days I can't function at all I'm weak my bones are weak um so depressed I shut the world out and don't talk to anyone it starts off with thoughts about my partner.  I feel the same when living with my partner as with my ex I feel like im living back with my ex i feel isolated and so unhappy so depressed and that's what I was scared of happening again and it has but I feel great when I live alone happy as can be and I need my own safety place I need alot of space as my head always feels messed up alot the past year with My partner n living arrangements  and I don't no what to do I also have fibromyalgia so I dont no if that has anything to do with mu on going episodes. 

Thank you for listening x

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

It all has t do with our need for love, we take risks and dive in regardless of our past experiences with living with someone. Eg you have had 2 past experiences then you end up without a partner and you are happy then you live with one again. Now, I'm not being too critical with you because I've done that myself when I should have taken my time and maybe not lived with someone so quickly. 

If you are not happy you should seek that happiness especially for your childrens sake. This latest partner hasnt lived with you that long so maybe you can suggest a temporary separation to see how it goes?

Whatever you decide seek stability and you have a right to that.

TonyWK