Help please with first date

[Elsam]

I met a wonderful guy and fell in love with him at first sight when I saw him on an online dating site, I am totally smitten with this man.

Our first date was a dinner date at a beautiful restaurant and after dinner he invited me back to his place.

He got the red wine out and then we became intimate and I spent the night with him.

He sent me a video during the week and we had a couple of messages between us, then stupid me sent this message this afternoon.

Hope you are well
and had a nice weekend...
I can’t help but feel you were trying to tell me something through the Swiss video?
I feel so disappointed, as we had so much in common and could have a great time together.
I think you were great, I respect you and wanted to get to know you as a friend...
Mary xx

I have been having huge anxiety attacks over this, he replied this evening:

Sorry been really busy, and wrapping up things before I leave. No, there wasn't a "hidden" message in the video, I wouldn't do that. Things went very fast during our first rendez-vous and thats unlike me tho!
Hope you had a nice weekend and no Monday Blues today!

How do I reply to this message from him without scaring him off, but at the same time I want to tell him I am attracted to him and would love to see him again.

This whole dating game is new to me as I was married for 25 years

Thank you in advance

[Elsam]

Hi @Geoff

I feel like being a little cheeky with him but scared he may take it the wrong way as he doesn’t know me that well yet.

i just feel like sending a message like:

Hello you sexy thing or I love your eye in this photo!

or

Do you really have to send me this cute photo when you are on the other side of the world

But if I don’t get the reaction I want I will be devastated

Maybe I will just continue to play it safe with him but at the same time I like taking risks

I don’t know what to do anymore!!

[geoff]

Hello Elsam, there is no harm in sending him some or all of these to him, but don't be disappointed if he doesn't send something back to you straight away, remember there is a time difference and he may be trying to think of something to send you but a little coy, even though he's on the other side of the world and this certainly doesn't mean he doesn't love you, remember the night you both spent together, it happened so quickly which is not how he normally does things.

Just give him a little latitude, he'll respond back to you.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Elsam]

Just putting my thoughts into words, as it helps my anxiety...

I am so in love with this man, I feel sick in the stomach I am scared I am not going to see him again and I don’t want to be the one to push him to meet when he returns to Australia.

I sent him a message at midnight last night as he is overseas.

I just said:

Happy Friday, hope you have had a great week and not too much stress... 💋

Well, I woke to a nice message from him this morning and at the end he said:
Bisous (kisses in French)

So I replied and said Goodnight and Kisses to him trying to drop the hint that I am in love with him without telling him directly.

Would he send photos of himself and say (Bisous) of he was not interested in me???

I have been on cloud 9 all day, I just don’t know what to do with him as we have only seen each other once which was our first date and we become intimate that night.

My mind is racing with thoughts....

I am crazy in love with this man but I am not sure if he is getting the hint...

Sometimes he seems a little standoffish with me, but I think it may just be his way of slowing things down between us to give us time to get to know each other.

He was the one that commented:

Things went very fast during our first rendezvous!!

I have not told him how I feel about him as don’t want to scare him off!

I am waiting for him to come back to see what happens as he said:

Hope to reconnect when I come back.

He really is keeping the communication going between us, so hopefully that is a good thing.

This has been going on for 3 months now, I don’t think he would continue chatting with me if he didn’t want to see me again would he??

[geoff]

Hello Elsam, by him saying 'Bisous' is being cheeky with you, that's his way of saying something the way he knows how to, that's lovely for you.

Don't forget that flying back into Australia may be restricted because of this damn virus, so you could ask him if he has had the injection which may allow him to fly back.

He may be slightly coy in being cheeky but Bisous is definitely doing that, he wouldn't be saying this to everyone but he did to you, that's a bonus to you.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Elsam]

Woke up this morning feeling very confused about this whole situation but feel I just have to wait it out...

What else can I do ??????

i am so confused by his actions and words!!!

He sends photos and kisses but I feel I always initiate the messages

He does ask questions about me but doesn’t tell me much about himself anymore.

i feel like saying:

I am a little confused as to whether you want to keep in contact, you send photos and kisses??? Or do you want me to TRY and forget you?

Do or I don’t I send it ??????

I may push him away if I say anything.

[Guest_1584]

Hiya Elsam

How long since you saw each other that night ? Seems like it could be a few mths now, not sure. Anyway , and do you know when he's coming back if not next time he message ask.

But at any rate tbh he's de'f sounding pretty under powered. When a guys falling in love most of us are all over it buttttt, him not wanting to rush things stuff well,could be that too tbh though , it's hard not to when you are really keen. Sounds like it was at least a few wks after you met before he left too, he could've easy seen you in that time. What messages he does send busy or not seem pretty half hearted to me too personally l'd have a lottttttt more to say than just those few things .

Buttttt, could be wrong , there could be reasons, some people are very slow off the mark with this stuff for whatever reason and his not rushing it thing. l'd still expect way more though myself.

ldk about pushing him away, if we're really feeling good stuff that takes a lot right. So whether you keep trying with him , up to you , it's more just at risk of you feeling embarrassed later if he isn't feeling it than pushing him away.

l'd be expecting much more from him though tbh, even taking it slow.

rx

[Elsam]

Hi Randomx

Nice to hear from you, I know what you are saying but why does he send photos and kisses and ask questions about my life if he is not interested...

He is really confusing me and doing my head in...

I feel like I need to ask:

Are we keeping in contact or not? I am confused 🤷‍♀️

At the same time I don’t want to embarrass myself in case he is interested.

He is really playing with my emotions and I cannot think of anything else.

We met that first night on the 1st May and he left to go overseas on the 28th

I really feel I need to get this feeling off my chest and let him know how I am feeling but at the same time so scared of his reaction...

I feel I need to ask why are you sending photos and kisses but not keeping in contact.

[Elsam]

Maybe I just need to shut my mouth and be patient and wait for him to return.

It is hard not knowing when he will return though!!

Maybe I need to ask the question...

[Guest_1584]

Oh god yeah no one could blame ya his half in half out business would frustrate anyone.

So nearly a mth before he left , l would've been back for more 1/2 a dozen times haha.at least. But l suppose there's a lot of personalities out there he might be one of the placid ones which l def' aren't haha.

if you don't feel right asking him then yep go with that l say. But nah l dunno why this or that tbh. l use to hang out in this singles forum back in the day l was single though people out there meeting people and no idea why but apparently that sort of thing was really common. People are bloody weird aren't they.

Sorry not much help , l better leave it in Geoffs hands l think haha.

rx

[quirkywords]

Elsam

even though have a few long term relationship and done a bit of dating over the years, I still feel it is hard to assume what the other person feels or thinks by their actions or words.

Go with your gut feeling, wait and be quiet if that is what you feel is ok.

All the best.