Help please with first date

[Elsam]

I met a wonderful guy and fell in love with him at first sight when I saw him on an online dating site, I am totally smitten with this man.

Our first date was a dinner date at a beautiful restaurant and after dinner he invited me back to his place.

He got the red wine out and then we became intimate and I spent the night with him.

He sent me a video during the week and we had a couple of messages between us, then stupid me sent this message this afternoon.

Hope you are well
and had a nice weekend...
I can’t help but feel you were trying to tell me something through the Swiss video?
I feel so disappointed, as we had so much in common and could have a great time together.
I think you were great, I respect you and wanted to get to know you as a friend...
Mary xx

I have been having huge anxiety attacks over this, he replied this evening:

Sorry been really busy, and wrapping up things before I leave. No, there wasn't a "hidden" message in the video, I wouldn't do that. Things went very fast during our first rendez-vous and thats unlike me tho!
Hope you had a nice weekend and no Monday Blues today!

How do I reply to this message from him without scaring him off, but at the same time I want to tell him I am attracted to him and would love to see him again.

This whole dating game is new to me as I was married for 25 years

Thank you in advance

[geoff]

Hello Elsam, isn't that lovely, why don't you tell him that 'you're in love with him and can't wait to see him'.

No, you are definitely not pushing it too much at all, he might be too shy to say the same to you, one of you has to be the first to say it.

Go on.

Geoff.

[Elsam]

@Geoff

You are the absolute best!!!

Don’t dare me to say I love you, I am a bit of a dare devil.... 😂

I am going to wait a little bit longer to see how he reacts.

I have told him already that I really like him.

I do want to tell him, I really hope we can catch up when you come back

[Elsam]

I am stuck, I honestly don’t know what to do....

Whatever I do, I am scared o am going to push him away.

I am in tears, I am so in love with this man, I fell in love with him at first sight!

Monday 7th June he sent a lot of photos at 4am in the morning our time as he is in the US, so when I woke at 6am I was so surprised and excited.

I sent a nice reply:

So beautiful, lucky you... 🌅
What beauty to wake up to, it’s 6.00am here.

Good afternoon to you... Love it all!!

The cabin looks amazing!

He then he sent more photos at 10am and 1pm our time with a simple message:

My place...off the beaten path...

I replied:

It is paradise, love places off the beaten path, so relaxing...
How long are you staying there? xx

I remember you showing me the aerial photos, amazing place xx

The above messages were all last Monday, he never replied 😢

I waited until Thursday for him to reply and got nothing so I sent a message:

Hello, how are you?

Still no reply and it is Sunday

I don’t know what to do as I sent the last message!!

I feel like sending a message asking:

Are you not talking to me now???

He used to message me every day and reply to my messages.

The thing that is worrying me, I don’t get why he sends photos but will not reply to my messages

I feel like whatever I say is going to scare him off and I do not know the right thing to say in this situation.

[Summer Rose]

Hi Elsam

I totally understand why you’re upset. Here are my thoughts...

I’d like you to consider the evidence: communication had been regular and positive up until Monday. That tells you he must be thinking of you and wanting to keep the connection alive.

He might send photos instead of messages because, like you, he struggles to know what to say. Maybe it’s a time thing, a lot easier to send a photo when you’re on holidays and busy and struggling to compose a message.

Lastly, I wouldn’t assume yet that the quiet of recent days has anything to do with you. You don’t know his itinerary—maybe he’s travelling home and hasn’t had time to message and wants to surprise you.

Maybe he dropped his phone in water (my daughter did this—in a lake in Switzerland) and I was worried sick for days.

Maybe he’s somewhere remote and no reception. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

I wouldn’t send the message you have planned, as it’s kind of accusatory. How about, “Worried about you, is everything ok?” Or just, “Thinking of you”. Then give it a bit of time.

Kind thoughts to you

[Elsam]

@Summer Rose

Thank you so much for the message, exactly don’t want my message to come across the wrong way and destroy any chance I have.

The thing that is upsetting me, is I see him online all the time as we chat online.

It is 9.30am Sunday morning there, I was thinking it could be the time difference too but he sent the photos at 4am our time in the morning on Monday.

I am thinking of just sending a nice message like:

Happy Sunday, hope you have a great day!

I don’t know anymore, I don’t want to go too long without any communication between us either....

I cannot stop thinking about him, I love him so much I don’t know what to do anymore....

[geoff]

Hello Elsam, I'm sorry it must be disappointing, however, Summer Rose has made some great points.

Love can surely be sent by letters but it's not the same as when you're with someone, so the longer you wait for a reply, is the same as watching a kettle boil, it never seems to happen, or you might expect a reply straight away after you've sent one, but there may be reasons why he doesn't reply, this doesn't mean he doesn't love you, he has other commitments to deal with, especially if he's in a group meeting with other high tech officials, so it may not be appropriate to do so and if he does he might he may be sacked.

So as sad as it is for you, just wait a day or so and see if he responds, and if I can say, guys, find it a little difficult to know what to say, not because they don't love you, but express how they actually feel.

I'm sure he loves what you say to him, but the time difference may be a reason.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Elsam]

@Geoff

Thank you for the nice message, really appreciate your advice.

I did send a message last night, I couldn’t help myself....

Happy Sunday, have a great day xx Look where I went today... 😉

I sent a photo of a place we both love and enjoy.

He replied:

My favorite place!!

Love it! Have quite a few pieces from him

Then he sent a gorgeous photo of himself 💙

I said:

Great photo! Hope you are having a great time over there. xx

I have just finished moving house!

He replied:

Where did you move to?

I worry and I am scared where this is going to end up as I don’t want to get hurt the longer it goes on but I don’t want to lose him either.

Would he still be sending photos of himself and asking where I have moved to if he is not interested????

This is killing me not knowing what he is thinking and not even knowing when he is coming back, he is not letting on too much information.

I am thinking of sending a cheeky message about his photo by saying:

Do you really have to send these cute pics, but I am not going to stop you 😝

Maybe if I take it one step further by bring a little cheeky, I may get more of a response from him.

[geoff]

Hello Elsam, by sending him cheeky messages might be another side of you he hasn't seen much because this mightn't happen when you're madly in love, try it and see what reaction you get.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Elsam]

@Geoff

Do you mean you wouldn’t send cheeky flirty messages when you are madly in love??

i am crazy about this man, I don’t know what else to do but wait for him to come back

As he said: Hope to reconnect when I come back...

Hope he means it....

He is still sending photos!! 😝😝

So I sent him 2 photos today

[geoff]

Hello Elsam, when you meet someone for the first couple of times, love is in the air, it dominates how you are feeling, so all you do is give each other the most gorgeous admiration towards one another, so nothing is said that would even jeopardise this love, it's only after a while you start to give cheeky comments but still in a loving way to each other.

If you are in love then cheeky comments only draw the two of you together in a stronger way.

Best wishes.

Geoff.