Help please with first date

[Elsam]

I met a wonderful guy and fell in love with him at first sight when I saw him on an online dating site, I am totally smitten with this man.

Our first date was a dinner date at a beautiful restaurant and after dinner he invited me back to his place.

He got the red wine out and then we became intimate and I spent the night with him.

He sent me a video during the week and we had a couple of messages between us, then stupid me sent this message this afternoon.

Hope you are well
and had a nice weekend...
I can’t help but feel you were trying to tell me something through the Swiss video?
I feel so disappointed, as we had so much in common and could have a great time together.
I think you were great, I respect you and wanted to get to know you as a friend...
Mary xx

I have been having huge anxiety attacks over this, he replied this evening:

Sorry been really busy, and wrapping up things before I leave. No, there wasn't a "hidden" message in the video, I wouldn't do that. Things went very fast during our first rendez-vous and thats unlike me tho!
Hope you had a nice weekend and no Monday Blues today!

How do I reply to this message from him without scaring him off, but at the same time I want to tell him I am attracted to him and would love to see him again.

This whole dating game is new to me as I was married for 25 years

Thank you in advance

[Elsam]

@Geoff and @Summer Rose

Thank you for your messages of support and please excuse me and I am sorry if I am rambling on, I just feel better if I put my thoughts into words.

I am feeling totally lost, disappointed, disheartened and heartbroken this evening knowing he has left the country. I know it sounds crazy but I feel so in love with this man.

@Geoff, I know you mean no harm and you do not have to explain yourself. I am just not sure what you mean by the protection?? Do you mean he may have been protecting himself until he got away and out of the country. I do know he has been very busy which doesn’t help as he said he was swamped with work yesterday and didn’t have time to catch up for drinks. Then it turns out that he actually flew out tonight.

@Summer Rose, yes miscommunication does occur specially between text messages as everyone interprets them differently. I am the worst at over thinking and over analyzing everything someone does or says.

I just don’t understand why he would keep messaging me out of the blue if he was not interested. There is no point in him messaging if he is not interested in seeing me again, it is like talking to a computer!!

He messaged me first yesterday morning and then I got another message from him this morning saying:

Happy Friday! Enjoy your Friday! Flying today. He must be thinking about me to send messages???

So I replied and tried to be a little flirty with him or get him thinking!!

i said:

Happy Friday amazing man! Have a great day!

i don’t see the point in him sending messages like this and telling me what he is doing if he is not interested and doesn’t want me to know about his life.

He did say yesterday “Hope to reconnect when I am back” so I hope he means that. I don’t think he would say that if he didn’t want to see me again.

I am hoping dearly that he sends some sort of message while he is away to keep in contact.

Hopefully the more we communicate it does cause the eagerness to see each other again. I would see him every day if I could.

I am the most impatient person in the world 😂

I am dying for a message from him but cannot chase him while he is overseas with his family!!

[geoff]

Hello Elsam, by protection I meant whether or not he'll become a new dad, my sincere apologies.

If the night you both had together was caught on the spur of the moment, he wouldn't have done this if he didn't find you attractive, but he may be hesitant only because he could be a very shy person and it's his way of building up the confidence he needs to meet you again, however, the longer these text messages continue, the harder it will be for him to meet you, that's why I suggested you meet him, rather than waiting for him to have the courage to say where.

Try and ask him if he knows when he'll be returning home, and remember two people being in touch with each other miles away can build a stronger bond.

All the best.

Geoff.

[Summer Rose]

Hi Elsam

I also think he’s interested in you and that’s why he’s texting you.

I believe in love at first sight and understand the connection you feel. I love your enthusiasm and willingness to take a chance in love.

But, and I say this gently out of concern for you, you don’t really know him yet. And you don’t really know what he’s looking for yet—love, serious relationship, fling, casual friendship?

You just need a chance to talk and time to get to know each other. The good news is that he will be back and hopefully you’ll get your opportunity.

Kind of surprised that he’s travelling with his family in the middle of a pandemic. Quarantine will be tough.

Kind thoughts to you

[Elsam]

@Geoff & @Summer Rose

I always feel so much more positive and excited after your messages of support.

My anxiety and paranoia can really get me down sone days.

Yes, the night we had together was very spur of the moment as we had finished dinner and I went to the bathroom and walked out of the restaurant and gave him a hug and a kiss and said thank you for a beautiful dinner. That’s when he said would you like to come back to my place.

I honestly think this may be his way of slowing things down a little between us to give us time to get to know each other as he commented after our first date:

Things went very fast during our first rendez-vous and thats unlike me tho!

But at the same time he knew what he was doing by inviting me back to his place after dinner because he asked me what I like to drink!

Yes, it is true distance makes the heart grow fonder, hopefully this trip is meant to be ❤️❤️

I honestly don’t think he would message me if he was not interested and he is keeping me up to date on what he is doing and where he is. Surely there would have to be some interest after intimacy!

He commented:

I never regret anything, I cherish it.

Unbelievable how I fell in love with him at first sight when I saw his photo, when I saw him i thought to myself he’s the one!

He even mentioned we have so much in common and are so much alike, he commented:

Amazing.....how much we are aligned in our "taste" now worried that there is a super computer behind this chat with AI responding to our desires......

He has been messaging me and sending photos this morning and this evening during his flight

I am so so so excited, I am living for the next message from him, I cannot put my phone down 😂

He did say: Hope to reconnect when I am back....

I am living for that day, hopefully he will mention something about when he is coming back

Kindest thoughts to you both

[TheLastSlice_ofBread]

When it comes to dating my motto has also been simple.

message when you want to and just date for as long as you are having fun. That’s the main thing. If that changes that’s all good and normal and that’s when you decide your feelings

Keep it simple

if someone doesn’t like you back try not to give into negative thoughts and instead just go cool o waisted time and

You have to feel it and realise that it’s not that you are no good if they don’t feel it or you don’t. That’s normal!! That’s ok ! Not all people are compatible

[Elsam]

Thank you for your advice!

I would love to message him but I sent the last message so now I am waiting for him to reply.
I don’t understand why we have to be worried about sending a simple message to men without them thinking we are chasing them??

I am trying so hard to keep it simple but my anxiety doesn’t help....

We seem to be very compatible and have the same interests, morals and life values!

He wouldn’t message me and update me on his travels if he wasn’t interested would he ???

[geoff]

Hello Elsam, I couldn't be so pleased for you, if he didn't want to see you in the future, whatever time this may be, then he wouldn't be messaging you, it's exciting.

There's an old wife's tale 'a watched pot never boils', in other words, if you keep watching for a message on your phone from him, the time will drag, but send him some photos, if that's what you want to do.

If two people really like each other, then a male having a female chase him is everything they would love, and if you're in love that's beautiful.

My best to you.

Geoff.

[Elsam]

Hi @Geoff

Hope you are well.

I have been very anxious this week about him being overseas and I still don’t know how long he has gone for or when he will be back. I am so scared he is going to forget about me if he is away for too long.

He has sent me 3 photos since he has been gone and sent a couple of messages.

I just don’t know if he is preoccupied with work or family commitments.

I sent the last message and asked where his photo was but he has not responded, now I feel awkward sending another message before he replies.

Just before he left for the US, he said: Hope to reconnect when I come back!

I am so worried and stressed he is distancing himself as I see him online all the time even with the time difference and he does not reply

[geoff]

Hello Elsam, I know the feeling and understand your position but try not to let your mind go rampant, you could be thinking about thoughts that aren't happening and far from the truth, if you are negative then awful thoughts would be dominating your mind, but if you are positive and hopeful about what may happen without expecting a reply from him straight away, then when he does reply back to you, that's a real bonus.

As he has been temporarily transferred o/s, none of us know what his commitments are, especially as the time over there is completely different to our time, so you could be waiting all day for a response, but he may well be fast asleep and vice-versa.

Don't let your imagination go to the extreme, although it can if it's positive.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Elsam]

Good evening @Geoff, you are the best!!

My mind was going a bit rampant over the weekend as he has not been online since 6.30am US time Friday morning which was making me anxious and paranoid.

I woke at 4am this morning to him sending photos, then I couldn’t get back to sleep I was so excited

I am so in love with this man, I just don’t know what to do with him

He is still keeping in touch even when he is on the other side of the world. Surely he has to be interested to be sending me all the photos and messages??

He hasn’t been transferred o/s, he is over there on holidays visiting his family.

I have tried dropping enough hints by saying: And it’s not Friday that’s the sexy beast.

I always put kisses XX 💋💋 at the end of my messages today give him the hint... 😂

Hopefully he remembers our night of intimacy as much as I do.
I think he does, that’s why he is keeping in contact.

OMG! I am crazy about him, I just somehow need to see him. I feel like saying: Can’t wait to see you when you come back but I may be pushing it too much???

He was the one that said; Hope to reconnect when I come back