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Heartbroken

Pink_Rose
Community Member

My husband and I have been married for 26 years. Together for 29 years. 2 adult children. We just celebrated our 25+1 anniversary and friends and family even surprised us.
I have been a supportive and devoted wife whilst he runs his business.
Due to pressures and stress with Covid etc husband hs been having difficulties having sex. We brush it off and try again.
so to my complete shock I find text messages on his phone asking for full service massage and extras. Asking for photos. From 3 different women.
after confronting him he denies following thru. Denies doing it any other time. Says he couldn’t do it even if he tried.
sick to my stomach. Don’t believe him. He gives me passwords to computer and the I discovered on his history tab searches for escorts and pros from weeks ago. He denies he followed through.
just curious. Trying to get him in the mood. Stress etc. I haven’t stopped crying and feel so many emotions.
I don’t know what to do what to believe but my gut says he’s done it. This is about to tip me over the edge and I’ve told him he’s ruined my life

1 Reply 1

Summer Rose
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Pink Rose

Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story.

I’ve been married 30 years in similar circumstances and can understand your shock, confusion and hurt. I’m so sorry that you find yourself in such a difficult situation.

Most of the time I would say trust your gut, but the consequences are potentially so serious that I would suggest you slow down a bit before jumping to any conclusions. I say this because I would need to know for sure before I made any decisions. (You may, of course, be different.)

Has he had the opportunity in the past few weeks to engage with someone else? Are there any odd bank withdrawals or credit card charges? Has his daily routine changed? No pressure to answer here, but have a think because it’s possible he may not have acted.

I would want to know more about why he’s looking for escort services. Just being curious isn’t enough—I mean why is he now suddenly curious? I’m guessing it’s somehow linked to his performance issues. When you’re ready perhaps you could try to have a deeper conversation.

It’s probably a good sign that he hasn’t gone to any effort to cover his tracks. Seems to indicate that he hasn’t got much experience in deception. A small consolation, I know.

Sending you a hug. Happy to chat more if it helps.

Kind thoughts to you