Heartbroken by same Libra man twice

Jilted · ‎14-12-2016

Hi everyone. How do I get over a second rejection from a man I've been in love with for 15 years? 15 years ago he was seperated from his wife, we were passionately involved, and he asked me to marry him. I was so excited. But, he couldn't go through with it and went back to his wife for the sake of his son. Fast forward to the last year - he is now divorced. I went crazy, thinking I could rekindle our love and pick up where we left off, and although he still has feelings for me, he doesn't want a relationship. And he says he has feelings for a number of others. We have been intimate again and I thought this was the start, but when I asked if there was a future for us, he shut me down. I'm devastated all over again.

How do I move on and stop thinking about him every minute of the day? How do I accept that we will never be together?

Jilted · ‎28-12-2016

I'm sorry if this sounds repetitive... he hasn't responded to any emails or texts since telling me to live my own life. I can't understand how he can cut me off like that. He does care, I'm sure - why else would he offer and give me a ride to the airport without me asking? I don't want to lose contact. What can I do? He's confused me completely with being friendly and intimate to cutting me off completely in the space of 3 weeks. It doesn't make sense. I know I pushed him to try and understand his feelings for me, and I've scared him off completely. How do I get him to talk again?

pipsy · ‎28-12-2016

Dear Jilted. No, I'm sorry to hurt you, but there is no way he cares. His offer to take you to the airport could just mean he is at a loose end. Once he takes you to the airport, the whole game starts again. It's pointless asking him what his game is, he will lie and try to convince you it's you he wants, then another girl comes into his life and he'll leave you again. You haven't scared him. you can't scare someone who has no feelings. You want a commitment, he doesn't want anything, only when he's bored does he contact you. You know from past experience this guy has no conscience, he's bored and just wants to amuse himself till he finds another girl. You said he hasn't responded to texts/emails since telling you to live your own life. That more than spells out his lack of anything remotely connected to you. After 3 weeks, he's suddenly contacting you - because there is no-one else around.

Lynda

Wednesday · ‎07-01-2017

Hello again Jilted,

I am so sorry that this is so very painful. Pipsy is right, this man is not for you and he has said so. Getting over an important relationship is so very hard and you need to grieve. It is so important that you look after yourself:

Ask for help. Talk to friends and family about how you are feeling, or consider joining a support group.
Take care of your physical health.
Grieving can be exhausting, so it's important to eat a healthy diet, exercise and sleep.
Are you able to manage other stress, lighten your load by asking friends, family members or work colleagues to help you with some chores or commitments?
Relaxation and gentle exercise can be helpful.
Do things you enjoy, even if you don’t really feel like doing them.

I know this may sound twee, but it will help. even if you come back and talk to us a little more about what is happening in you life.

You have people on here to talk to don't ever feel alone. As I said you can do this, baby steps. xx

Jilted · ‎02-04-2017

Hello again.

He hadn't contacted me because his father passed away suddenly. I feel awful for thinking badly of him. I've been trying to call him to see how he is doing - I know he's struggling, but I think he has blocked my calls.

I know I won't see him again, and he won't let me talk to him other than an occasional email. I don't know how to cope. I don't see how I will ever be happy. All my friends live overseas and they've heard it all before with this man. I miss him so much and just want to stay in contact. The pain is unbearable.