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Sick Sister

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member


My first post so I'll try and keep it pretty brief. No spring chicken, I was born in 1942 with my half sister arriving some fifteen years later.My dad died on the Burma Rd and I was raised by my Mum and grandmother. What a couple of kooks they were.Mum survived on medication and Nana just suffered on with acute anxiety neurosis and acute arthritus.Rellies and friends were very sparse as was any sane family unity. It will suffice to say that our comission house was looked on as the local loonie bin. People can be very cruel and as a kid I recall gaining some credence in claiming that my grandmother was a witch. I remember a young girl once saying "he hasn't even got a father."

Needless to say I grew up troubled, socially inadequate, intensely shy, and seeking a means to live. At round sixteen I was living in doss houses, drin king and near to my first consumption of drugs, an event of fortunate brevity as it scared the Hell out of me. Oh yes round this time mum had a "love child".

Alcohol, numerous dead end jobs, blatant sexual promiscuity, led to my first marriage and divorce after a year. More drink, affairs, and then a de facto relationship with a married alcoholic in my thirties.( While this is all going on my half sister and mother are involved in continuing craziness and co dependency.) Anyhow afer a few years of de facto mayhem etc I decided to move out, stop the booze, and was given medication to calm me down (lol) hardly a worthy antidote and I was on the medication for over thirty years.

Back to my half sister, who, to my knowledge lives as a recluse still currently taking mega doses of medication to sleep and driving me mad with highly disturbing letters and demands for help. This is paticularly annoying as she wont answer the door or phone. Mum lived into her nineties and may well have been the world's oldest doctor shopper. Bad stuff doesn't always kill you fast.

I'm re married, over thirty years, managed to get a degeee, a book published, (shonky publisher) still into gym work at 75, something that may well have saved me, AA to some extent and NA. along with a lot of self help books and philsophy so it's no longer all gloom and doom. I enjoy the footy too!

Still those letters and knowledge of the situation gets me really down at times. Life goes on and we can learn heaps from the bas stuff too, if we realy apply ourselves. It can take a damn long time though! Good to get that off my chest......

2 Replies 2

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Murcho

Firstly welcome to the BB forums, and where I see you're a BV member thanks for stepping up and writing your first post.

When I first read through your post I thought to myself, "Wow, what a ride." I've re-read your post more than thrice and I am not sure if you're seeking guidance or just saying 'hello', though a the moment it seems like the latter.

Please write some more, and let us know where we can help.


Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member


I am heaps better than the really bad old days but it was a really slow process.

I wanted to indicate that time, experience, hard yards and emotional suffering can help us overcome our demons even over much time.

As for my sister, lots of bad water under the bridge.She endured the same dysfunctionality as I, but we can go too far in trying to help someone if it impacts badly on us. A Buddhist doctrine refers to "Idiot compassion" wherby your efforts may really be to stop your pain, when you really cant be of any help. Sounds a bit callous, but it can be a trap.

Depression has to be endured to be realized, and many people still think it is simply lack of will. Hard to believe but true, though things are improving.

Some years back I sent Jeff a chapter from a book I was writing, partially biogaphical. He wrote back, a very kind and polite letter. Quite rare I thought, from corporate and political people. I was impressed and felt quite less cynical.

Have done some voluntary work with AA and Mental Health Fellowship and am looking to move on. "Nothing endures except change" as someone once said.