partner left me at the beginning of the year we have two small children
I didn't want the relationship to end but he had a drinking issue Which caused issues with us he also I believe was struggling with depression but he wasnt admitting to that at the time.
i usually deal with break ups with no contact however I do really care about him (+the shared kids) so I told him that if he ever really needed me I'd be there but that we can't be best friends ie not chatting everyday
in August he came to me admitted he was struggling with depression he came and stayed with me and the kids for about 4 days and apologised he wasn't there for me when I needed him as he never believed mental illness was real until now (I struggled with anxiety and depression whilst pregnant partly because he was out drinking so much)
since we have broken up I find it hard to move forward as I don't have a lot of time for me with two small kids he takes them 1 night a week (all he can do with his work) I am ok most time and unless he made considerable progress I wouldn't go back but I still sometimes struggle with the fact that it ended
he was prescribed meds in August but said he didn't want to take them and wanted to stop drinking instead. He hasn't done neither he also never continued with his psychologist.
through out this year he has let me down a lot just general selfishness cancelling when he was suppose to have kids last minute even if I had plans.
He is a good guy and he treats everyone else really pretty good you know do anything for his mates.
Its just me who he seems to have no regard for. He says he cares about me and he knows I always put him first and was very caring and good to him but we were just arguing and he couldn't handle it. He couldn't handle anything anymore (his words)
I just don't know what I could of done better.
And I don't know how going forward I can stop allowing him to make me feel like that.?
I know you cannot blame other people for how you feel but I am doing ok until he does something that is selfish and ends with me having to pick up the slack.
when I feel worthless it consumes me, I think I still have to much importance on us being on ok terms I hate fighting
I have tried to understand but he just gave up on us and I really struggling with feeling like it's not something I've done wrong.
We have a parenting plan.
how do I keep myself protected and also any advice on how to stop feeling worthless