Feeling like there's no point after recent breakup

dontseethepoint

I am 18F and i have BPD/BPD traits. about 3 weeks ago i was broken up with by my girlfriend of 8 months because she could not deal with my mental health problems. I don't blame her for that. I was very much in love with her, and i still am, even though i feel like i hate her a lot of the time. Since the breakup, I don't ever feel good, i am in a constant low mood and it gets especially bad when I'm by myself. I am afraid that i will never get better, that I will always think of her and miss her, that nobody as good as her will ever love me. The way i feel is horrible and dreadful and so painfully intense that I cannot imagine going on like this. I don't want to kill myself, but i feel as though I'm being backed into a corner here- like I have no choice. I need somebody or something to make me feel better. It's all too much. I've been put on two medications but i've not noticed any improvements in my mood yet. I've only been on the one for a few weeks though. I want to be better.

Jasper

Hey there 🙂 I’m so sorry you are going through this, break ups are truly awful. I was in your position just under two years ago. After my ex and I broke up, I felt absolutely horrible and thought it would stay that way forever. I couldn’t envision a life where I would be happy again, and I thought I would never get over her. To be honest, I didn’t want to live that life anymore. I wish I could say there was a magic cure, but for me, it was time. It took time, but I am happy again, and I truly believe you can be too. If I can give you any advice, it would be to talk to people about how you’re feeling, even a little bit. You are going to experience so much joy in your life, and your best days are yet to happen.

dontseethepoint

hi jasper, thanks so much for response😊 i really struggle to think positively about the future, but hearing a success story from someone who went through something similar definitely gives me hope.
i know deep down that things won't always be this way, but i'm just struggling with the question of how long this will all last and how i'm going to manage in the meantime.
i speak to my friends as often as i can, but i feel like i might be weighing them down with my mental health problems. I'm afraid that i'll end up driving them away.