Hi everyone, thanks in advance for your replies.
I have been with my husband for 12 years. In that time we have been through a lot. His twin brother passed away suddenly in an accident which has very much impacted out relationships.
My husband has an addictive personality and has had issues with gambling and alcohol. These things escalated after his brother died and the drinking is a huge problem now.
He frequently goes out to help a friend (maintenances jobs), and just doesn’t come home. Like tonight, our daughter has gastro and he hasn’t come home. He lies and tells me he will be home at a particular time, then says he will be another hour and another hour etc.
Whenever my husband says he is going out I get extreme anxiety. I think this is due to the emotional abuse I have coped in the past during his drinking.
I am at a point now that I am done, I’m extremely busy and need to concentrate on myself and our children, but I just cannot let go of the hope that things will change. Last week I left and was 99.9% sure I was done, but as soon as I seen him I just couldn’t commit to leaving and have given him yet another chance. I don’t know if I’m scared of being along, or scared of him loving someone else? But I just feel like we will be happier not together.
How do I let go? Does anyone have any advice on where to start with divorce when a mortgage is involved? I know I deserve better but can’t find the strength to leave.
