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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Tmg1710 My husband prefers sleeping alone and is not interested in sex
  • replies: 2

Im married 6 years and its been a tough ride.I think we are just room partners trying to raise our kid together.Im scared to talk to him about it.Because he gets frustrated and angry.He prefers watching porn over having sex. This had affected me ment... View more

Im married 6 years and its been a tough ride.I think we are just room partners trying to raise our kid together.Im scared to talk to him about it.Because he gets frustrated and angry.He prefers watching porn over having sex. This had affected me mentally and physically.His interest in sex has always been low.He prefers virtual things.I feel lonely ugly and rejected. He is always watching movies or playing games or talking to his friends.He does all repsoniblities well the physical duties.Cleaning ,coming with me to hospital if required.But it just seems robotic..

Littlebluescent Seperation grief
  • replies: 1

Hi, My ex girlfriend (I'm female, not that it makes a difference, but she was the first girl I'd ever loved after being in not so great relationships with men) left me over a year ago, because she was struggling with depression along with being in ea... View more

Hi, My ex girlfriend (I'm female, not that it makes a difference, but she was the first girl I'd ever loved after being in not so great relationships with men) left me over a year ago, because she was struggling with depression along with being in early recovery from substance abuse and couldn't handle being in a relationship at that time. I've checked in with her every now and then throughout the year to see how she is going, but I haven't spoken to her since last Christmas. She was pretty much my soulmate and I loved her more than I've loved anyone. I feel I'm still grieving our separation. I've not really spoken about this to family, only some friends. Most days I'm fine, but every now and then I still cry about it. Being single isn't an issue for me and in fact, I've learnt a lot from staying single, but some days I struggle because I miss her. I still hold love for her and I probably will for a long time. This doesn't mean I won't ever move on, it just means she meant a lot to me and the love doesn't go away just because we aren't together. I guess I just want to know if anyone has experienced something similar, because some days I feel like I'm going crazy. Thank you for taking the time to read. Any response is much appreciate.

brendo1234 Telling a girl that you wanted to get to know them as friends before starting a relationship when you ask them out
  • replies: 3

I have recently been feeling like I've been doing things wrong when trying to start a relationship. I used to ask girls out after 2-3 months of meeting them and usually get rejected. I decided to focus on being friends and look at starting a relation... View more

I have recently been feeling like I've been doing things wrong when trying to start a relationship. I used to ask girls out after 2-3 months of meeting them and usually get rejected. I decided to focus on being friends and look at starting a relationship after 8 months or more so I know a bit about the girl I like because I'm thinking about having a long, committed relationship that might end in getting married. But now I feel that this might be doing more harm in starting a relationship and putting me in the so called "friend zone". I realised that I've changed how I start dating because of past experiences of being blinded by love and putting on a mask to try and impress the girls I'm interested in and sometimes ignoring warning signs that the girl isn't the best for me. I'm now wondering if it's a good idea to tell the girl I like that I've been interested in them for a while and wanted to get to know them as friends before starting a relationship, but worried they will think I'm lying. Am I ruining my chances with starting a relationship due to my experiences because of wanting to be friends and getting to know the girl? Is it a good idea to say that I wanted to get to know them first when I tell them I like them and try asking them out? Are girls more likely to say yes to a guy that says they wanted to get to know them as friends because it makes them look like they want to have a long term relationship?

Dan049 Married 20+ years, 3 kids and feel just like room mates!!
  • replies: 4

So we have been married for 24 years. i was a ADHD kid growing up and did not have many close friends at school, so when my now wife showed some interest i latched on as i was not confident of getting anyone else. She was my first serious relationshi... View more

So we have been married for 24 years. i was a ADHD kid growing up and did not have many close friends at school, so when my now wife showed some interest i latched on as i was not confident of getting anyone else. She was my first serious relationship right out of high school and even early on i didn't have that feeling of head over heels being in love, it felt more like - this is what the adults do so lets do that. The last 3 1/2 years it is very rare that we end up in bed (just to sleep) at the same time, she will always go to sleep in the lounge and then come to bed at 4am or 5am. It is now at the stage where i do not think that i could go to sleep with someone else in the bed whilst i'm awake. During this same period there has been zero intimacy. I have suggested seperate bedrooms but she was stunned that i would even bring it up. We have never been super tidy but lately i am now starting to resent her leaving things out as she expects me to clean it up. I do not hate her all, quite the opposite -i care about her alot and i dont want to break her heart but im not sure that i can stay and be happy in this type of a relationship. I work full time, am involved on a Committee of a sporting club, and studying online, so the housework gets away from me and when i ask for help it is promised but never delivered. Im starting to get really frustrated but dont want to hurt her or the kids. Cheers.

Girl_interrupted1 Boyfriend thinks I’m fat
  • replies: 13

Hi everyone, I’m new here. I decided to post here today to see if anymore can help me or give me some advice on my situation. ive been with my boyfriend for 8 years and over the years he has always been very concerned over my weight and body parts in... View more

Hi everyone, I’m new here. I decided to post here today to see if anymore can help me or give me some advice on my situation. ive been with my boyfriend for 8 years and over the years he has always been very concerned over my weight and body parts increasing. When I met him I was 20kg smaller than I am now. I’ve struggled with body image issues for my entire life which started from when I was only 5 after getting some serious scars after an illness. I started dieting as a child - actually my father put our family on a diet because he himself wanted to lose weight and he thought we all needed to follow the same strict juice diet. Since then I’ve studied nutrition and I know that these diets don’t work and I’ve tried my best not to fall back into restrictive habits. But my boyfriend constantly reminds me that my weight needs to change and has told me in the past that he’s no longer attracted to my body. He’s not a bad person. He’s gentle sometimes, funny, charismatic and a fun person to be with but lately (well for a while now) I’ve been questioning if I should end this relationship. the thing is.... I’m scared out of my mind to break up with him. I can’t imagine my life without him and I want to be with him because I love him more than anything. please help me. x girl interrupted

Ekkie Sensitively and constructively dealing with a partner with serious self confidence issues - it is starting to cause problems
  • replies: 1

I have been seeing someone for the last few months, who late last year ended his marriage for a number of reasons then found out she had been cheating on him for several years. He has been the primary carer for their two autistic boys for the last se... View more

I have been seeing someone for the last few months, who late last year ended his marriage for a number of reasons then found out she had been cheating on him for several years. He has been the primary carer for their two autistic boys for the last several years, as she didn't want to be. He has had to essentially walk away from his marriage with nothing but debt, and given COVID he is struggling financially as well as he's only just re-entered the workforce. These are all big things to deal with, and I am happy to support him wherever I can. He is sweet, caring and funny, and we can talk for hours. The thing I am starting to struggle with how to deal best, is his extremely low self confidence (which I understand and can completely see where it comes from). I want to find an effective way to reassure and talk to him about this, without making him feel worse. I've been trying, but don't feel I am getting anywhere. I know this will take time to build on. He is insecure about the fact that he currently has "nothing" whereas I have a good job, I own (most of) my home and have savings for holidays etc. He is worried about the fact that he thinks I am "smarter" than him and know all this stuff about things he doesn't and that as a result I will get bored and leave. He keeps saying that I am too perfect and he's terrified of doing something wrong and then I'll leave. He apologises constantly for everything. He bought me a mineral water from the supermarket the other day on his way over (on my request) and then was super apologetic as it was a different brand to what I usually get (he saw an empty bottle in the recycling) - which I don't give two hoots about. He apologised for telling me I'm beautiful, and asked if that was ok. He touched me on the arm and jerked back like i'd burned him, apologising again. I understand abuse (and he has talked about a lot of his relationship with his wife), as I was a victim of childhood abuse, and I know that it takes time to rebuild trust etc. I'm just a little unsure how to help someone else navigate this path themselves and would be grateful for any advice, as I'm now being super careful about everything I say and do and I don't want this to come between us as I think we could be really good for each other. I've tried subtly suggesting counselling, but he doesn't feel this is necessary.

Lonely_girl Relationship mental health
  • replies: 4

Ok so I am 20 and have been with my significant other for 4 years and I have major anxiety and my depression is getting worse and worse, they have generalised anxiety. During this time he’s tried to help but I’ve just felt claustrophobic and agitated... View more

Ok so I am 20 and have been with my significant other for 4 years and I have major anxiety and my depression is getting worse and worse, they have generalised anxiety. During this time he’s tried to help but I’ve just felt claustrophobic and agitated by it, just wanting to be left alone and he won’t do this. I feel as though I can’t breath. I have spoken to friends about this and they have suggested leaving as I am happier with friends rather then them. I don’t know what to do as everytime I suggest it they panic and cry. I feel as though I’m trapped during these times but I do love them

Suz863 Struggling with marriage separation
  • replies: 1

Hi guys, my husband and I split August last year and moved out into seperate houses March this year. We have been together 16 years and the split has made me realise how much I love him and our family. My daughter is really struggling with the transi... View more

Hi guys, my husband and I split August last year and moved out into seperate houses March this year. We have been together 16 years and the split has made me realise how much I love him and our family. My daughter is really struggling with the transition too. My husband has a new girlfriend and told me he doesn’t want to get back together so I guess I’m here for support, I feel sad all the time which is unusual for me and I don’t know how to move past it. thanks guys

Puss Puss
  • replies: 1

My Sister and her family recently contacted my Adult Schizophrenic Son without telling me. Her daughter in law had received a Christmas Card from him but never told me. Also they made the decision themselves to visit him after speaking to the Hostel ... View more

My Sister and her family recently contacted my Adult Schizophrenic Son without telling me. Her daughter in law had received a Christmas Card from him but never told me. Also they made the decision themselves to visit him after speaking to the Hostel and went there as a family, their reason being to see if he was okay and off drugs. I feel awful saying this, but they knew I did not want any contact having made a life apart now,. I am 73 years old land still feel this way after he attacked me years ago at his Hostel then ran off leaving no trace of whereabouts. I am hurt and very stressed, unable to sleep and don't know how to handle this or if I can trust them to reveal my whereabouts now. I am being treated for anxiety and this is making me feel so much worse. Does anyone have any advice or support please?

Tired_of_being Parenting, autism and bitter separation
  • replies: 5

I have been going through some tough times, abusive (physical/emotional/financial) and now my son has been asked to leave his school. He is autistic, but ok until puberty. He just does not get the social cues and he just does not get how to communica... View more

I have been going through some tough times, abusive (physical/emotional/financial) and now my son has been asked to leave his school. He is autistic, but ok until puberty. He just does not get the social cues and he just does not get how to communicate with girls. Being acrimoniously separated, we both have IVOs. I did one to remove him from house and being physically abusive to son. I was the one that dealt with his school. I am paying for his counselling and now i have noticed that ex has done transactions out of my bank account. He knew number since he was joint. But he has side business that allows him to direct debits..so he put bills into my account.. He breached his IVO and got a good behaviour bond, but it was stalking son , so not taken seriously. The ex is big on mental games and made sure i spent nearly 30 years feeling worthless, stupid and believing my memory was gone. My current issue this week is that son has been out of school for 2 weeks, then the 2 weeks of school holidays. Ex refused to discuss and now only wants to communicate by solicitor. I am left with the impossible task of trying to enrol him at either 2 schools in town. Ex works at one, and the other is across the road. So because of IVO I cannot access either, I have court date to vary in July and meeting with Catholic before this. I am hoping of working out some way of doing this. I just have nothing left. ick of the games he plays. I am beyond tears, I have a son that desperately needs lots of professional help - and I am the only one that is left to organise anything. Ex says he cant afford it, but is on over 100k and boarding at friends. I'm paying mortgage and all household bills. I am financially balancing with my credit cards, my sick leave is gone, my long service too. I still have so many days i need to take off to get son to treatment and family court. Yet it all falls to me. I get 200 per month child support. I have been physically attacked by son when i tried to limit his screen time. His father did not support the behaviour plan set up, as he has only contacted the psychologist after 9 weeks. Where do I start? I have applied for NDIS, Special Assessment for child support and have my own counsellor. But I just feel useless as I cannot accomplish anything. I am not bothering about the money as it is more important to get son help as he was asked to leave, I am so frustrated, I cant move on, I have all the bills. This just wont end.