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Scared of relationship

Von is lost
Community Member
I am scared of a potential partner getting to know the ‘real me’ and so I try too hard to be perfect but it creates an awkwardness and distance between us. My anxiety really worsens this, does anyone have any tips on how to let go of that fear and just show him what I’m really like?
6 Replies 6

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Von is lost

Thanks for posting, we know that can be a hard thing to do when you going through a challenge. It seems like you care about this person and want to be authentic with them- if you are in fact referencing someone in particular? A good tip I can offer is just to be clear with this person, hypothetical or otherwise, about how and why you feeling the way you are. Being on the same page can do wonders. They can reassure you, and you can both work together in dropping the 'facade' you (understandably) feel you need to create. This thread may be useful and informative for you as well: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/relationship-and-family-issues.

Let us know what you think- we are here to listen.


Community Member

G'day Von

There is not a lot to go on, but from what you have said, I would suggest that you don't hide the "real" you from your partner. The relationship might thrive for a time, but ultimately, you will resent what the relationship is doing to you.

If you can't be yourself, the relationship is predestined to fail; its just a matter of when.

Can you elaborate a bit more. The real you can't be that bad!

Thank you both for replying!

Its an odd situation in the way that we knew each other in high school - he was popular and I was not. I think it brings up a lot of those insecurities I felt at school to now.

Hi Von

If you are feeling insecure, you need to talk to your partner about this. If you feel that you can't, a phone call to a counsellor at "Beyond Blue" or "Relationships Australia" may put your mind at ease. There is a lot of help out there if you are willing to talk. The counsellors will not judge you, they are there to help.

A quick google search will give you all the phone numbers that you need. If you want help, just ask, I will look them up for you.

Hi Von is list,

Mr Paul has some great suggestions about reaching out- we appreciate you getting back to us too. Feel free to keep sharing as much as you want/need; we'll do our best to listen and assist as best we can. Keep us updated on how you feel and are doing.


Hi Von.


Congrats on your potential partner and relationship. The best thing you can do is simply be yourself and not to doubt yourself as a person. Popularity is irrelevant to be faire so put that behind you and focus on making yourself the best person you can be because you can defiantly have a healthy relationship with your new partner. Be nice to yourself and you deserve this special person.

Good luck!