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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Speechless Best way to mentally deal with partner suffering psychosis?
  • replies: 4

Hi , my partner or best friend who has schizophrenia has recently gone into psychosis and I’m now starting to learn just how terrifying that experience is for him and how powerless I am to help him. before this happened he was unwell and i suspect wa... View more

Hi , my partner or best friend who has schizophrenia has recently gone into psychosis and I’m now starting to learn just how terrifying that experience is for him and how powerless I am to help him. before this happened he was unwell and i suspect was taking illicit drugs. He also had a lot of stress build up since last end of year and depression. Up until a week or more ago we were like always on the phone every night and messaging everyday. We’ve been doing that for nearly over 4 years. usually he liked to come over to my place every afternoon as a place to escape to and have company but once this pandemic happened and I live with my parents over 70 , it resorted to limited time hanging out for an hour or less every now and then at a park for a talk. I hadn’t heard from him within a week expect that he would ring up to go for a walk once and then later tell me he couldn’t with no explanation. Or he would hang up on me when I rang him. a bit about me, I have social phobia and anxiety and have a history or agoraphobia for a few years in my youth. I’ve basically been a hermit for most of my adult life but my best friend was sort of my life line out of the loneliness and helped me gain self identity. up until yesterday I didn’t realise what was going on. I thought he was being cruel to me during his illnesss and I didn’t educate myself on it. but then he rang me and sounded like a terrified young boy and told me he was terrified and his breathing was so laboured. When I asked what he was scared of , he told me He couldn’t explain it but that he wanted to die. He mentioned he felt like the whole town around him was swirling ready to get him or something. he is not in hospital, his mum is looking after him and his sister who recently went through the same thing but was recently hospitalised and returned home. I miss my best friend it hurts quite excruciatingly esp during this pandemic as I haven’t anyone else I talk to. except my parents. i am lucky I am seeing my psychologist today but I am desperate to know what should I be doing to help and how should I healthily be thinking and feeling in this time, I feel such agony for him and his family and just want to help but I can’t really and yet I can’t relax or stop thinking about it as it’s distressing. I am educating myself on psychosis but I scare myself into a spiral of loss. Esp during civil 19 and lack of social support.

EmeraldEmphasis Babysitting Upset
  • replies: 1

I have recently moved in with my partner and his family. We have our own space/section of the house. My partners mum works full time and has a young child. Due to the coronavirus she hasn't been sending her child to school. Which ia understandable. H... View more

I have recently moved in with my partner and his family. We have our own space/section of the house. My partners mum works full time and has a young child. Due to the coronavirus she hasn't been sending her child to school. Which ia understandable. However, as she is under 16 she can't be left home alone. Therefore, I am looking after her, which I don't mind but I was never actually asked to. It was just assumed as I don't work currently. I have never even recieved a thankyou for babysitting and keeping her occupied which honestly would be nice. By the afternoon I am tired from keeping the child occupied so at around 3/4 I put on a movie and go do my own thing. Still keeping an eye out but just having time to watch a show myself and relax. Whenever the mum comes home she says she hasn't been up to anything all day. Which isn't the case as they have been playing/talking etc with me. The other day i heard the mum talking to a friend about me. Saying 'no wonder she has mental issues.She never leaves the house etc'. Well I can't leave the house because I'm looking after her kid. And she went on to say 'she does nothing all day'. Just feel upset about the lack of thanks. Are my feelings justified?

missrogue My anxiety and overthinking is ruining my relationship
  • replies: 1

I feel like most of the time my anxiety and overthinking is the third person in our relationship trying to pull it all apart. I'm with an amazing guy and have been for almost 4 years. He supports me as best he can, recently I catch him reading forums... View more

I feel like most of the time my anxiety and overthinking is the third person in our relationship trying to pull it all apart. I'm with an amazing guy and have been for almost 4 years. He supports me as best he can, recently I catch him reading forums of how to deal with anxiety attacks from a partner perspective (i get them every now again) so I couldn't ask for anyone better in my life. I haven't moved on from something that happened over 2 years ago and I feel like i'm going insane about it. I don't bring it up to him often because it will most likely push him away. With the recent Isolation happening, me losing my job and living with my mum who has terminal cancer, everything builds up. My Bf is a naturally very outgoing, charming and happy guy, (he is a ESFP and im an INFP) with that... comes girls that think he is a great catch too right, who wouldn't. There have been multiple women who have asked him out, knowing full well he is taken. Most of them at his workplaces. Some have tried to take it too far and attempted to kiss him even in front of me. There was this one night, a farewell party that we were all invited to, even though I had left the workplace my bf was still working at (a club), I was still friends with the majority of people there. Short of a very long story, there were two girls there that were interested in him (the one that tried to kiss him, call her lips) and another, ill call her devil for this. Devil and I had only had one word conversations. I'd met her once before this. So devil arrives, there were a few things that went down before this... like making a scene about my bf not hugging her when she arrived and not sitting with all of us until he came over. After that, she messaging him telling him to come over to the smoking area. This is where it all happened. (bf had a good friend next to him backing him up, i wasn't there) She said that he is a different person when I am around, I don't bring out the best in him, that I don't suite his personality, that she doesn't even know me and can see that I don't want to get to know her and that he should leave me. (she had lips backing her up) My Bf turned around to her and said "If I didn't love her, i wouldn't have been with her for 2 years, thats the woman i'm going to marry, so you better get used to it." This is all according to my bf and his friend who re-layed what happened to me after I was stressing sitting with one friend at another table. Natural reaction, I started to cry.

_SitsAlone_ My head is spinning
  • replies: 1

I feel so lost, my husband doesn't care for my tears or spirals, he does what he wants and expects me to go along with it even not telling me things then says I'm controlling, I just want the respect & him to acknowledge that I need him to help me th... View more

I feel so lost, my husband doesn't care for my tears or spirals, he does what he wants and expects me to go along with it even not telling me things then says I'm controlling, I just want the respect & him to acknowledge that I need him to help me through this, I cry for no reason, iv told him im going to see a counselor & he says we will be over cause they put shit in your head and that he is there for me but he's really not,I want to see my family who live over an hr away while his family live in the same town as us and he's always going there but we don't see my family,he wants nothing to do with them, I have 2 children & they are the only ones keeping me here, I'm at a real low and am struggling to get out of it, i was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, PTSD and OCD a few yrs ago due to my past relationship, when I told my husband I'm losing it he says "here we go again your always doing this". Is this really my fault?

Becca_Maria Suggestions for online Marriage/Couples Counselling
  • replies: 8

We have tried many marriage counselling sessions, so far they havent worked. We dont have many couples counsellors in our area and the ones we do have, have very long waiting lists!! Can anyone suggest some online services which may be able to help. ... View more

We have tried many marriage counselling sessions, so far they havent worked. We dont have many couples counsellors in our area and the ones we do have, have very long waiting lists!! Can anyone suggest some online services which may be able to help. I am quite desperate as I am in a very bad place mentally (suicidal thoughts etc) and husband has told me the sooner i get out and find a place to rent the better. We have 4 kids and he will hold it over me and tell me to move out without the kids

Guest_1584 Could be a major issue with my lady , not sure what to do in it. Thoughts ?
  • replies: 82

As a few know from my other thread l met someone new about 10mths ago and again thanks so much for the help and thoughts back in that thread too it really helped . Unfortunately we have a could be a pretty big problem and l just dunno what to do abou... View more

As a few know from my other thread l met someone new about 10mths ago and again thanks so much for the help and thoughts back in that thread too it really helped . Unfortunately we have a could be a pretty big problem and l just dunno what to do about it or how to look at it. You see she moved over to oz with her hubby 6yrs ago but they split up 2yrs later and divorced . he changed and got violent, nother story. Anyway they'd done visas and we're all set and approved but 3mths ago she got a new letter from immigration and they're reviewing their visas because they got divorced. better not go into details here but the whole thing is now the lawyer can't say whether they'll still approve her original visa or if she'll have to go for a whole new visa if the decide now something wasn't right . Her and her h paid 14,000 for their applications 7k each , the most ridiculously dearest visa in the whole damn world that l can find by almost triple and ridiculously hard , most other countries in fact are only 3 and 400 dollars or euro . Well they were approved and basically just waiting on the official stamp so to speak and that was it.Butttt, so if she does have to reapply guess what , they don't refund the first 7k, she's gotta pay another 7k. as if the first wasn't enough, what a scam.. Anyway , l know how it might sound but nope it's all 100% legit l've seen all the original stuff from her and her ex 6mths ago because she was going through it all and showed me and l've seen the new letter even went with her to the lawyer and heard the whole story directly from him too. l dunno wth to do . l mean we have a beautiful relationship l'd think marriage later for sure if it kept on like this but atm it's only been 10 mths and if it was any other country l couldn't care less about 3 or 400 bucks. But if it does come to that then we'd have to find about 8k all up l don't have it ex and me habe forked out a fortune on d's school this year and braces , she doesn't have near enough , l just dunno. And whatever we are , we just haven't been together long enough for me to tryst the whole sitch anyway yet. Now l'm scared to let things go on with us right now because if worst happens there's nothing we can do, she'll probably have to leave the country and we bth end up broken hearted . The lawyer says she could know in a month or 18mths no way to tell.

Jane17 Is my husband cheating?
  • replies: 7

3 weeks ago my husband (39) lost his job along with several others from his work. Another girl (22) was also made redundant. Since then they have developed a 'messaging' relationship and have seen each other at least 2-3 times a week. We have a 3 yea... View more

3 weeks ago my husband (39) lost his job along with several others from his work. Another girl (22) was also made redundant. Since then they have developed a 'messaging' relationship and have seen each other at least 2-3 times a week. We have a 3 year old daughter going to day care while i am attemting to work from home and now they both have spare time. I have snuck a look at his phone to attemt to understand the nature of their relationship. for the first 2 weeks they were sending hundreds of memes to each other a day but after bringing it up this has reduced slightly. Tonight i was suffering major anxiety after he spent the afternoon with her - (told to me because i asked). After he fell asleep i went to look at his phone and he had changed the password. He claims they are just friends, and admits that it has been a bit full on because of the circumstances (covid/ iso). She has a boyfriend however from the messages i read they are not happy. Ive asked him to cut it off but he said he really clicks with her and wants her as a friend. I can't sleep and im racked with anxiety... what do i do?

Larli Another Lonely, Lonely Day !
  • replies: 7

Hi Everyone, I haven't posted for a long time but today is my daughter's 40th birthday and she is my 1st born. She hasn't spoken to me in 10 years and it is a terrible pain that I carry. She has married in that time and she now has a little girl who ... View more

Hi Everyone, I haven't posted for a long time but today is my daughter's 40th birthday and she is my 1st born. She hasn't spoken to me in 10 years and it is a terrible pain that I carry. She has married in that time and she now has a little girl who is soon to be 4 years old. I do not know my granddaughter's name or date of birth and it is killing me. Everyone in my family knows those details and will not tell me which I think is very cruel. I was a very good mother and my daughter and her brother were my life. They are the reason I got out of bed everyday and now, I still get out of bed but I don't have a reason to any more. I just wish the pain would go away. I know that things will never, ever be the same again, so what is the point of continuing? I feel that I have wasted what could have been a good life because I am now old and it is now too late for me.

Littlebluebird Struggling with life
  • replies: 9

Hi, I am new here so I apologise if I am posting this on the wrong place lol. I am struggling so much right now. My whole life has changed since the restrictions came in for corona virus. I am a mum and a wife and after years of putting myself last I... View more

Hi, I am new here so I apologise if I am posting this on the wrong place lol. I am struggling so much right now. My whole life has changed since the restrictions came in for corona virus. I am a mum and a wife and after years of putting myself last I was finally studying full time, volunteering and finding myself in life. In the blink of an eye, everything has changed. Now I could probably handle the changes if my marriage was strong, but we have recently decided to seperate. We are still living in the same house though, and the trauma this is causing with not being able to have space from him is breaking me. He won’t give me space, everywhere I go he is there in the house, sitting and staring depressed. I know he is hurting too, but not giving each other the space is damaging us both severely. I am waking up every morning just dreading another day of the same and I cannot see an end in sight. I constantly feel sick in the stomach. I have always been the type who hates to be cooped up, and I am very soft natured and do not handle conflict well. I just feel so trapped. I need this to change. I know it will not be like this forever, but I’m worried I’m not going to come out of this without some severe emotional damage. my dad only passed away a few months ago also, and I’ve been supporting my mum through this time. I feel like I still have emotions of my own locked away that I refused to let out, because I needed to be strong for everyone else. I have kept myself busy with life and study for so long as a coping mechanism, but now that there is nothing left to busy myself with, it is all crashing down on me and I feel like I’m crumbling more and more each day. I don’t know how I am going to continue on for this next indefinite timeframe until I can begin to rebuild my life.

Chloe_Synder A Rough Breakup
  • replies: 1

Hi, I have recently come out of a rocky relationship where my partner split up with me. We had been dating for eight months, and had so many fun times. Before coming into the relationship, I was aware that my partner was a frequent drug smoker - some... View more

Hi, I have recently come out of a rocky relationship where my partner split up with me. We had been dating for eight months, and had so many fun times. Before coming into the relationship, I was aware that my partner was a frequent drug smoker - something that I had never done or been around. When we started dating, his smoking did not bother me. He never pressured me into it, but he was very adamant that he was never going to quit. I tried encouraging him and persuading him with all the negative effects that the drug was having on his body. I never succeeded. The relationship starting becoming rocky after about three to four months, where my partner would often leave me/cancel plans with me to smoke with his family/friends. It became a common issue and no matter how many times I cried to him or yelled at him about the way he had hurt me, he did not stop. There were a couple of huge blow ups in the relationship during this time where I would threaten to leave him as he was upsetting me so much, but I loved him more than anything and saw so much potential. The only problem was his addiction. In January, my partner did something that hurt me the most - he took a huge amount of a drug that is common at parties/festivals. He did not tell me or anything and when I saw him that night, I cried and yelled at him but he did not seem to have any remorse, until a couple of days later when I told him that I would leave. However, I ended up coming back as he promised me he would never hurt me again. I believed him, but his words did not meet his actions. In February, we had another blow up, and this was all to do with drugs. He would tell me how "I could never accept him" and that he hoped that I would "find someone who would not drag me through hell" like he did. He ended things then and there, however, the same night he showed up to my house, with gifts saying he regretted his decision. Fast forward to March, and everything was going smoothly, but he was beginning to smoke more. I was concerned for his health, so I would commonly bring up how his smoking was unacceptable. He did not recognise the impact it was having on me. After a huge argument, he ended up breaking up with me and I am more than devastated because I want him back in my life more than anything. I begged him to try harder, but he is adamant that he will not come back. It just kills me to think that he chose drugs over me all the time. No matter how much he loves me he will not change.