Depressed

[Peri125]

I was in a relationship for 6 years before I married my husband. He was very emotionally abusive during that time aswell but I never understood that. He would yell at me and call me names. Say horrible things about my family . He even cheated on me before our marriage and I forgave him but he took that as my weakness and used it against me. After the wedding he moved to Australia and joined him later. After I came to Australia he made me feel like a burden and started giving me all sorts of conditions about how I cannot bring my family here or support them the money I will earn when I get a job. He was horrible to me most part of the time. Then after 5 months I had to go back to bangladesh because I needed to get some work experience and he had an observership where family wasn't allowed. After i went back he started to create fights with me for no reason. Never was there for me in any form. And prevented me to going back to him. Everytime I would ask him about when I can come back he always said no he doesnt want me there. He would not give me a divorce and prevent me from filing for one aswell. He later on told me he was cheating on me and got someone pregnant but she got an abortion. He then wanted me to go visit him but as soon as I was booking the tickets he changed his mind and blamed everything that has happened on me. So I stopped talking to him altogether. After i did so he started calling me everyday and even my mom because I wouldn't pick up. He was still cheating on me while doing which I later found out. His parents were persistent and requested me very much to go and see how things are in Australia and that they will be there with me while I talk to my husband and give it a shot.

[uncut_gems]

Hi Peri125,

Welcome to the forums– I'm so, so sorry to hear about all that you've been through with your husband. It should go without saying that every part of this is COMPLETELY unacceptable behaviour on his part and you deserve better, no matter what the other circumstances are. This is not someone who has your best interests at heart and in my opinion is not worth a moment of your time, energy or consideration.

Of course this is easier said than done once you have built a life with someone and become intertwined with them. Without knowing many specifics of your situation, I would urge you to first and foremost cut off contact with him and his family and contact an attorney if you can afford one. I know little about divorce law, but in many jurisdictions you do not need your husband's consent to file one. May I ask where you are now, if you are physically safe, and how you are doing in terms of resources?

I hope you'll stay with us here on the forums to chat a bit more and share more of your story if you're comfortable. This is a totally safe and non-judgmental place.

Warmly,

Gems