Dad

[Jackson1994]

Anyone who knows a bit about me on here may know that my dad isn't the nicest guy in the world and we have minimal contact after he left when I was pretty young

Im making this post because he has been contacting me, he sent me a message not long after midnight saying happy new year, although I appreciated them I got a few so just ignored them all, generally people just send them to their whole contact list

He messaged me again 1:05am, have a good year maybe this year things will work out for you

I replied, they did this year but thanks dad

By 2am I'd gotten a page long I'm sorry for not being there message let's go for a drink tomorrow night we can make things good

I didn't reply I was with my partner and I wasn't ruining both our Nye getting worked up over it

Now I'm upset, I see him I risk him upsetting me, I don't see him I risk him hating me and mum even more

[CMF]

Thank you Sophie .

[Jackson1994]

Thanks

The thing is, he has never been harmful to me like physically until we started talking again. When he was around when I was a kid he was a good dad he never hit us or hit mum. And I don't want this whole thing to sound like my life sucks my dad beats me up because my family is awesome just my dad is not.

[Jackson1994]

Thanks CMF and Sophie

[CMF]

Hey Jackson,

Firstly, i am so relieved to hear that as a child he never hit you or your mum. It had crossed my mind but i didn't want to pry. I am really happy that did not happen and that he was a good dad. I guess that explains why you have a desire to reconnect, I understand now and hope I haven't sounded too harsh. I know your family is awesome. I do think he has some issues though. He could be lonely, depressed, jealous and feels frustrated that he cannot control you to do silly things he wants you to do. He seems to have anger management issues unfortunately and beating you up is not acceptable.

As i have said, i personally think it is best to keep your distance because things could turn worse and one punch can do alot of damage.

We know your life doesn't suck, you achieved so much last year and it looks set to continue this year. Focus on the good things and try and remove yourself from the bad.

cmf

[Jackson1994]

That's why it came as such a shock when left and why it was so difficult - he didn't hurt my brother either and and he didn't seem aggressive. As far as I'm aware he never hurt mum either, and he didn't seem like the type that would hit one of us. But who knows what happened, there was obviously cracks forming somewhere for him to leave like he did. He has told me but I didn't believe what he told me. I think he left because there was someone else, but that's just what I thihk and my veiw on it.

I just try and tell myself I have a great stepdad who genuinely cares.

[Doolhof]

Hi Jackson,

I have just been reading this thread. It is understandable that you wanted this guy to be the "Father" you may have always longed for. We all desire to be loved, cared for, accepted and acknowledged, especially so from parents.

I relate it to my first husband. I stayed with him even through domestic violence as I kept thinking things would get better and I had dreams of how a marriage should be. He made all kinds of threats when I did leave. He was manipulative and a bully.

I'm really sorry that you Dad treated you the way he did. Please know Jackson that your father's actions have nothing to do with the person you are, but all to do with the person he is.

When something horrible like this happens to us, it can be easy to think it is all our fault and we deserve it. That is so not true! No one deserves to be treated that way.

Jackson, please get all the help and support you need right now to process and deal with what has happened. It is great you have been able to share here, hopefully continuing to share will help to diminish the impact of your father's actions and help you to heal and grow stronger.

Hugs to you Jackson if you are into receiving cyber hugs, from Mrs. Dools

[Jackson1994]

Thanks Mrs Dools

Don't really know what to say but thank you

[Doolhof]

Hey Jackson,

The main thing is that you are safe, that you feel supported and cared for. In your day to day life and here on the forums as well.

Cheers again, from Dools

[CMF]

Hey Jackson,

You do have a great stepdad and from what you have told us about him he does genuinely care, even if you don't always agree. He wants what is best for you.

Hope you are feeling a little better.

[Jackson1994]

My step dad had been there longer more often and treated me better than my dad ever has