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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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auschic I can't love fully
  • replies: 1

Im having relationship problems with my boyfriend who I care about very much and its getting me down. He tells me that my love is conditional, which in a way i guess it is and i hate it. When we have an argument and his on my 'bad side' its like my m... View more

Im having relationship problems with my boyfriend who I care about very much and its getting me down. He tells me that my love is conditional, which in a way i guess it is and i hate it. When we have an argument and his on my 'bad side' its like my mind shuts off everything i felt for him and all our memories, all my feelings get shut off. I treat him like i dont care about him and ill be honest, in that moment a part of me doesnt. Lots of times i wish he would just leave me alone because he has no worth to me anymore (when were fighting). I say harsh things aswell. I wish i was normal where i could just have a conversation and tell him he hurt me/my feeligs and then be okay with it and move on but no, my mind goes defensive. Ive tried to do that but theres something in my mind that doesnt allow me to just 'be okay with it', its like i have to do more. Either get revenge or just shut my feelings off for him. This feeling can go for a few days, ill still be around him but ill feel withdrawn. We have usually said sorry by thus point but the feeling still lingers for me. I wont feel attracted to him in the slightest, Its almost like i need to get him to get me to fall back in love with him. Its such a huge process. I look at my bf and i know his normal. When we fight he explains to me how ive hurt him (even if its small) and he expresses his emotions. Then i say sorry and we move on and were back to normal,he doesn't withhold his love like I do. He tells me he always loves me even when we fight and that he never hates me. My emotions are so extreme,either i love you or i hate you theres no in between. I black and white think alot. Why do i do this?

unicornprincess29 Boyfriend's Family Makes My Depression/Anxiety Worse
  • replies: 24

Hi! I've been with my BF for over 2 years. He's my absolute rock & he has supported me through every single bad day I've had. His dad lives in Aus. & his mum lives overseas (neither of them speak English very well). A year ago, his mum came to Aus. W... View more

Hi! I've been with my BF for over 2 years. He's my absolute rock & he has supported me through every single bad day I've had. His dad lives in Aus. & his mum lives overseas (neither of them speak English very well). A year ago, his mum came to Aus. We spoke a lot using Google translate. We did a lot together...she even confided in me about personal problems. She told me I was like a daughter to her & that she was so happy I was with her son because she sees how much I love him. My BF told me a long time ago he's not close to them because of what they're like. I soon witnessed this. The 2nd day she was here, they started fighting. At one stage I even felt they were trying to cause fights between me & my BF. The fights between his parents carried on the whole time she was here & they would always ask my BF to fix it. Eventually he was so sick of it, he moved out, which was accelerated because they insulted both of us. They said horrible things about him, like that he hasn't achieved anything (he has 2 degrees & works full time in his field). But then it was my turn...they called me ugly, told him his exes were better than me, said it was weird I don't like going out a lot/don't have many friends, they told him I don't love him, they said they hated me & any other insult you can think of. We bought his mum a Thomas Sabo bracelet to which she later said I control his money & she wanted Adele tickets & I'm the reason he didn't get them (I don't control his money. We have a savings goal we're trying to achieve together & his parents thought that he should be using all his pay on them). She also said she doesn't want grandkids from me. My BF moved out & we've been happier than ever! I was broken for a long time though. The comments they made about the both of us affected me for months & at times I still get depressed & upset about it. He didn't deserve any of it & neither did I. Anyway she went back home temporarily but she's back. My BF is meeting them because they called/texted him relentlessly saying they need to talk. He told them that he has no intention of being a "family" again & that they showed both him & me no respect & he won't let them treat me that way. I won't be there when they meet. I'm worried for my BF though & that they'll try to hurt him again, and, I'm worried how stressful/upsetting it'll all be for me again.

Summer83 Insomnia/relationship issues
  • replies: 3

Heya, Just wanting some help. I worry about myself when I don't sleep for a while as I have had psychosis a few times in the past. This week I was on too much of a high - I started a new relationship a few months ago and on Sunday felt like I'd just ... View more

Heya, Just wanting some help. I worry about myself when I don't sleep for a while as I have had psychosis a few times in the past. This week I was on too much of a high - I started a new relationship a few months ago and on Sunday felt like I'd just reached a point of falling for him pretty hard. My attraction to him had been building and it felt like it had tipped over into something quite strong. I was really excited and happy. On Wednesday things fell apart when he told me what was going on in his week. Monday night he only slept 3 hours - I had the naivete to think maybe it was because of a similar excitement to me but it was because he found out his ex got engaged. He also said something about not bringing me to a party with his friends because he was at that same party last year with his ex. Apparently she had borderline personality disorder and was cheating on him. I don't want yet another relationship to fall apart - there's so much promise in this one - but I don't know how to preserve my dignity. I have this fierce pride that won't let me stay with someone who isn't over their ex. He doesn't want to be with her, in fact he's very angry at her, but he isn't over her.

tashi New mum. Hard time
  • replies: 8

I'm a first time mum my baby is nearly 6 months old . I am exhausted i feel like I haven't slept since he was born. I feel like my fiancé is just a house mate finding it hard not to snap at each other .i feel incredibly lonely somedays barely leave t... View more

I'm a first time mum my baby is nearly 6 months old . I am exhausted i feel like I haven't slept since he was born. I feel like my fiancé is just a house mate finding it hard not to snap at each other .i feel incredibly lonely somedays barely leave the house I have a constant headache. It's all just to much ! I love my baby so much and some days are great but some days or so so testing.i constantly question what I'm doing ! .im sure this is all common new mum stuff I suppose I just need someone to talk to

Gezell My depressed partner has left me and I'm pregnant
  • replies: 1

met my ex 3.5 yrs,In Aus1.5yrs. 2months into relationship he told me he has depression. Said he'd been to counselling&taken meds in the past but manages it himself.Afew mths later, I tried to end things as I was moving to Aus. He wanted to come with ... View more

met my ex 3.5 yrs,In Aus1.5yrs. 2months into relationship he told me he has depression. Said he'd been to counselling&taken meds in the past but manages it himself.Afew mths later, I tried to end things as I was moving to Aus. He wanted to come with me&didn't want us to end.10 months into the relationship he said'I need to tell you something but cant'.This went on for2mths.I was relentless&started guessing.He said he didnt think he wanted to marry/have kids.When hes depressed he can hardly look after himself&was afraid of passing it on-His dad has depression.I took this as a fear of committment.He hadnt spoken to his dad in12 yrs,Dad left his mum&they'd a bad marriage.later mum told me he was reclusive for 5 yrs in his 20s.We kept going.Had regular sex&got on good.4 mths before our move, he said he had doubts about Aus.He'd say I was the best thing to happen to him&I thought'cold feet'We moved to Darwin.Beginning was tough.Id a job he didnt.We fought a bit. Hes V introverted/awkward socially-I'm the opposite,but the smartest person I know!Back on track&things were good.I went to counselling to help me support him.We travelled&became so close. Arguements wouldnt last long as I found better ways to say things.I noticed every 6 months he'd have an episode&doubt us.His dad died&he didn't go back home.Another episode!I thought hed committment issues.I said if we split, I wouldnt want to see him.He was devastated by this.We kept going.Had the best4-5mths when I got pregnant.He said he didn't love me&he wanted to break up.Wants to be there for me&baby as much as I want.Says I make him happy,I'm his best friend,the best thing thats ever happened to him,if there was no baby he'd follow me anywhere as he wants me in his life.says Im beautiful.I found his depression difficult at the start.I couldve been more supportive.Im his1st serious partner/lived with/1st I love yous.When we met,hed many social issues/no job/living with mum/couldnt drive.Now hes a good job,in Australia,has a truck licence.I KNOW Im a positive influence on his life.Ive tried to keep my distance but Im in Darwin til Jan.Ive no friends or support. L night I asked him over. I had a terrible time last week. Was so down, angry&full of resentment. Crying&panic attacks.We watched a movie.He gave me kisses&hugs&sounds excited about baby.he smokes weed every day.Im moving to Perth in Jan&having the baby in Feb. Hes coming too.Ive lots of support there.Id love2leave now but don't want to screw up my visa.

nellie89 Lonely mumma vent
  • replies: 4

These days I don't really leave my house. I have 2 kids under 3, I live in a small town, I've only lived here for about a year, I barely know anyone and haven't made any friends. It's made me wonder lately if maybe I'm just not cut out for friends. I... View more

These days I don't really leave my house. I have 2 kids under 3, I live in a small town, I've only lived here for about a year, I barely know anyone and haven't made any friends. It's made me wonder lately if maybe I'm just not cut out for friends. Its something I've struggled with my whole life. I remember my mum being called in for a meeting in primary school with my teachers because they were concerned I didn't have friends in my own year level. I moved just before the beginning of high school so I knew no one when I began high school and struggled with going from a primary school of 300 to a high school of 2000. I bounced from group to group the first few years of high school. I remember being told I wasn't allowed to hang out with whichever group I was currently with anymore because they didn't like me anymore. Teenage girls really suck. I spent most of year 10 on my own not really speaking to anyone. It was easier to just spend lunchtimes in the girls bathroom waiting for the lunch bell to ring. I finally thought I'd found a good group at the start of year 11. My mental health started going rapidly downhill in the beginning of year 12, And then I found a letter in my locker saying that my group of friends didn't want me around anymore. I was crushed beyond words. I spiralled and ending up throwing in year 12. It took me another 2 years until I had another group of friends take me under their wing. I thought I'd hit the jackpot. A group of strong single successful women that had a great time and seemed like great support to each other. And they were that for me for a few years. Until my depression got in the way again. One day I went to contact one of them on Facebook and realised she'd deleted me, looking further afield I realised that they'd all deleted me. These women were all over 30 and again I got told it was because I was too negative. Since then I haven't really tried too much. I thought maybe some of my sister in laws could be potential but they have their own friends and are not very receptive when I suggest anything. So here I am. Almost 30, a lonely mother in the grips of PND with that lovely anxiety disorder rearing its ugly head again. I know I'm a miserable person to be around sometimes, and I'm working on it. I'd give anything just to have a close friend to talk to. There's so much going on in my life at the moment and it's so hard and stressful. I'm sure my poor partner and mum need a break from being the only adults I talk to.

steve_53 family type questions
  • replies: 8

hello im a newbie the reason ive loged in is i think i have family members whom are older than i that may have mental issues and im just trying to get my head around the situation and how to handle different types senarios like approaching issues wit... View more

hello im a newbie the reason ive loged in is i think i have family members whom are older than i that may have mental issues and im just trying to get my head around the situation and how to handle different types senarios like approaching issues with elderly parents whom think they are all ok but their body language and how they conduct them selves on a daily basis doesnt match up to what i see as other people doing as day to day going thru life . is there anything on the forums to help family members like myself as to where to start and how to even approach issues with parents who think their day to day is going great but in my thinking they arnt

thoughtscollide I think I want to break up with my partner ..?
  • replies: 13

Hello everyone.. I don't know whether it is because of my depression, or whether I really want to? I feel awful because she is good to me, she has helped me so much this year. I feel ungrateful because of her generosity but I don't think I am in love... View more

Hello everyone.. I don't know whether it is because of my depression, or whether I really want to? I feel awful because she is good to me, she has helped me so much this year. I feel ungrateful because of her generosity but I don't think I am in love with her. I have been working on myself these last few months, it has been long overdue. But, I just keep having this thought that we are not right. I just feel awful and sad about it. I do really care about her but something is not right. I don't know what it is. I love her but I am not in love with her. I would rather be honest with her than keep on going like this. I keep waiting for the 'right time' knowing full well that there is no right time. Thanks, I hope I made sense

Pinkandblue82 Lost my job and possibly my husband days apart
  • replies: 1

I am absolutely destroyed at the moment, we found out on Tuesday that our entire department australia wide is being shut down in the next few weeks depending on leases and now last night my husband who works away messaged me to tell me he doesnt thin... View more

I am absolutely destroyed at the moment, we found out on Tuesday that our entire department australia wide is being shut down in the next few weeks depending on leases and now last night my husband who works away messaged me to tell me he doesnt think he wants to come home as he feels unloved and unwanted. I am numb, i feel physically sick and want to curl up and die but I am at work taking all the overtime i can as i have not got another job lined up. I dont know what to do i cant force him to stay and i cant force my self to pay him attention etc when i am physically exhausted and teetering on the edge as it is - hence the no sex or attention in the first place he has threatened to leave before but i think it is real this time, things have been tough for awhile I am worried about my mental state, and i have 2 kids at home that rely on me for everything...

Galactic_Gizmo My Dad just got engaged...
  • replies: 11

So my parents are going through a divorce and i am the only one of three kids who is still talking to our dad. Well i just found out today that he has gotten engaged. Ive never even met her. Ive attempted to contact her and she has spoken with me bri... View more

So my parents are going through a divorce and i am the only one of three kids who is still talking to our dad. Well i just found out today that he has gotten engaged. Ive never even met her. Ive attempted to contact her and she has spoken with me briefly on a couple of occassions, but she has never made an effort to contact me in return. (Yep he was dating her while my parents were still married). She seems like a lovely lady. I think i should be happy that he is happy, but i just feel....weird. My mum doesnt know yet. Its going to be a disaster when she finds out. I guess being 7 months pregnant with an anxiety disorder probably doesnt help my emotional state. I don't know how to react.