Dear Bagsi~
Welcome to the Forum. I think it is a pretty
sensible move for you to come here and talk with others. Getting into a
relationship when you were around 16 and saying in it until now will make
it very hard to know what is normal - or even acceptable.
You
seem to be at about that stage most parents have when their kids are
adults, or close to it, and you look at your partner with fresh eyes. Up
till then it has been a scramble to raise the kids and that has had
priority.
Now the pressure may be a little less and you have time
to take stock - and don't like what you see.
While it's true some people
are more judgmental than others it should never get to the stage where
you always feel you have to walk on eggshells so there are no arguments
and anger. If your children feel the same way, that their father
treats you badly or speaks to them in a way they can't take then it is a
pretty good indication his behavior is unacceptable.
What do do
about it largely depends upon what you want. If you want your husband to
change then I guess trying couples counseling might be an option.
Otherwise you might feel you want time out away from the family home to
see how you feel.
Is is possible to stay with someone else for a
while? This whole thing is new ground and having someone, even just to
talk with, makes a whole load of difference. Do you have anyone like
that?
I guess the other thing that occurs to me is have you been
able to talk to your children about this and see what they want or think
should happen?
Croix
